不要期望爱有什么回报，耐心地等待它在你所爱的人的心里生根发芽，成长壮大。即使不会那样，也要感到满足，相信爱会在自己心里成长。
Love Likes A Broken Arm爱如断臂
“But what if I break my arm again？” my five year-old daughter asked， her lower lip trembling. I knelt holding onto her bike and looked her right in the eyes. I knew how much she wanted to learn to ride. How often she felt left out when her friends pedaled by our house. Yet ever since she’d fallen off her bike and broken her arm， she’d been afraid.
“Oh honey，” I said. “I don’t think you’ll break another arm.”
“But I could， couldn’t I？”
“Yes，” I admitted， and found myself struggling for the right thing to say. At times like this， I wished I had a partner to turn to. Someone who might help find the right words to make my little girl’s problems disappear. But after a disastrous marriage and a painful divorce， I’d welcomed the hardships of being a single parent and had been adamant in telling anyone who tried to fix me up that I was terminally single.
“I don’t think I want to ride，” she said and got off her bike.
We walked away and sat down beside a tree.
“Don’t you want to ride with your friends？” I asked.
“And I thought you were hoping to start riding your bike to school next year，” I added.
“I was，” she said， her voice almost a quiver.
“You know， dear，” I said. “Most everything you do comes with risks. You could get a broken arm in a car wreck and then be afraid to ever ride in a car again. You could break your arm jumping rope. You could break your arm at gymnastics. Do you want to stop going to gymnastics？”
“No，” she said. And with a determined spirit， she stood up and agreed to try again. I held on to the back of her bike until she found the courage to say， “Let’s go！”
I spent the rest of the afternoon at the park watching a very brave little girl overcome a fear， and congratulating myself for being a self-sufficient single parent.
As we walked home， pushing the bike as we made our way along the sidewalk， she asked me about a conversation she’d overheard me having with my mother the night before.
“Why were you and grandma arguing last night？”
My mother was one of the many people who constantly tried to fix me up. How many times had I told her “no” to meeting the Mr. Perfect she picked out for me？ She just knew Steve was the man for me.
“It’s nothing，” I told her.
She shrugged. “Grandma said she just wanted you to find someone to love.”
“What grandma wants is for some guy to break my heart again，” I snapped， angry that my mother had said anything about this to my daughter.
“But Mom.”
“You’re too young to understand，” I told her.
She was quiet for the next few minutes. Then she looked up and in a small voice gave me something to think about.
“So I guess love isn’t like a broken arm.”
Unable to answer， we walked the rest of the way in silence. When I got home， I called my mother and scolded her for talking about this to my daughter. Then I did what I’d seen my brave little girl do that very afternoon. I let go and agreed to meet Steve.
Steve was the man for me. We married less than a year later. It turned out that mother and my daughter were right.
“可我要再把胳膊给摔断了怎么办？”我五岁的女儿问道，她的下唇颤抖着。我跪着抓稳了她的自行车，直视着她的眼睛。我很明白她非常想学会骑车。多少次了，她的朋友们踩车经过我们家时，她感到给抛下。可自从上次她从自行车上摔下来，把胳膊给摔断之后，她对车便敬而远之。
“噢，亲爱的。”我说，“我不认为你会把另一只胳膊给摔断的。”
“但有可能，不是吗？”
“是的，”我承认道，使劲想找出些道理来说。每逢此时，我便希望自己有人可依靠。一个可以说出正确道理、帮我的小女儿解决难题的人。可经过一场可悲的婚姻和痛苦的离婚后，我倾向于当个单身母亲，并且我还态度坚决地告诉每个要给我介绍对象的人说我要抱定终身不嫁。
“我不想学了。”她说着，下了自行车。
我们走到一旁，坐在一颗树旁。
“难道你不想和朋友们一起骑车吗？”我问。
“而且我还以为你希望明年踩着车回去上学呢。”我补充道。
“我是希望。”她说，声音有点颤。
“知道吗，宝贝。”我说，“很多要做的事情都是带有风险的。汽车失事也会折断胳膊，那么你就算再坐在车上也会害怕。跳绳也有可能折断胳膊。做体操也有可能折断胳膊。你连体操也想不练了吗？”
“不想。”她说。然后她毅然站起，同意再试试。我扶着车尾，直到她有勇气说：“放手！”
后来的一个下午，我就在公园里看着这个有无比勇气的小女孩克服了恐惧，我恭喜自己成了可以独当一面的单身家长。
回家时，我们推着自行车顺着人行道走，她问起昨天晚上我和我妈妈的一个对话，那是她无意中听到的。
“你昨晚为什么和姥姥吵？”
我妈妈是总想安排我去相亲的许多人中的一个。我多次拒绝去看她给我找的合适对象。她知道史蒂文和我会合得来。
“没什么事。”我告诉她。
她耸耸肩。“姥姥说她只不过想让你找个人来爱。”
“姥姥想再找个人来伤我的心。”我厉声说道，很生气妈妈把这件事跟我的女儿说了。
“可妈妈。”
“你还太小，不明白。”我对她说。
接下来好几分钟她都很安静。然后她抬起头，小小声地说了句令我深思不已的话。
“那么我猜爱情和断胳膊不是一回事了。”
我无言以对，余下的路我们在沉默中走完了。回到家后，我给妈妈打了个电话，责备她不该和我女儿谈论这话题。接着我做了一件那个下午看到我那勇敢的小女儿所做过的事。我松口答应和史蒂文见面。
史蒂文正是我的合适人选。大约一年前我们结了婚。结果证明我妈妈和女儿是正确的。
Beauty Within心灵之爱
John Blanchard stood up from the bench， straightened his Army uniform， and studied the crowd of people making their way1 through Grand Central Station.
He looked for the girl whose heart he knew， but whose face he didn’t， the girl with the rose. His interest in her had begun 12 months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself absorbed， not by the words of the book， but by the notes penciled in the margin4. The soft handwriting showed a thoughtful soul and insightful mind.
In the front of the book， he discovered the previous owner’s name， Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he found her exact address. She lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to write him. The next day he was shipped to another country for service in World War II.
During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A love began to develop. Blanchard requested a photograph， but she refused. She explained： “If your feeling for me has any reality， any honest basis， what I look like won’t matter. Suppose I’m beautiful I’d always be worried by the feeling that you had been taking a chance on just that， and that kind of love would make me sick. Suppose I’m plain and you must admit that this is more likely. Then I would always fear that you were going on writing to me only because you were lonely and had no one else. No， don’t ask for my picture. When you come to New York， you shall see me and then you shall make your own decision. Remember， both of us are free to stop or to go on after that—whichever we choose... ”
约翰·布兰查德从长凳上站起身来，整了整军装，留意着格兰德中央车站进出的人群。
他在寻找一位姑娘，一位佩带玫瑰的姑娘，一位他只知其心，不知其貌的姑娘。十二个月前，在佛罗里达州的一个图书馆，他对她产生了兴趣。他从书架上取下一本书，很快便被吸引住了，不是被书的内容，而是被空白处铅笔写的批语所吸引。柔和的笔迹显示出其人多思善虑的心灵和富有洞察力的头脑。
在书的前页，他找到了书的前任主人的姓名：霍利斯·梅奈尔小姐。他花了一番工夫和努力，找到了她的确切地址。她住在纽约市。他给她写了一封信介绍自己，并请她回复。第二天他被运送到海外，参加第二次世界大战。
在接下来的一年零一个月中，两人通过信件来往增进了对彼此的了解。每一封信都如一颗种子撒入肥沃的心灵之土。浪漫的爱情之花就要绽开。布兰查德提出要一张照片，可她拒绝了。她解释道：“如果你对我的感情是真实的，是诚心诚意的，那我的容貌如何并不重要。设想我美丽动人，我会始终深感不安，惟恐你只是因为我的容貌就贸然与我相爱，而这种爱情令我厌恶。设想本人相貌平平（你得承认，这种可能性更大），那我就会始终担心，你和我保持通信仅仅是出于孤独寂寞，无人交谈。不，别索要照片。等你到了纽约，你会见到我，到时你可再作定夺。切记，见面后我俩都可以自由决定中止关系或继续交往——无论你我怎么选择……”
Love Is A Two-way Street 爱是一条双行道
A father sat at his desk poring over his monthly bills when his young son rushed in and announced，
“Dad， because this is your birthday and you’re 55 years old， I’m going to give you 55 kisses， one for each year！” When the boy started making good on his word， the father exclaimed， “Oh， Andrew， don’t do it now； I’m too busy！”
The youngster immediately fell silent as tears welled up in his big blue eyes. With apology the father said， “You can finish later.”
The boy said nothing but quietly walked away， disappointment written over his face. That evening the father said， “Come and finish the kisses now， Andrew！” But the boy didn’t respond.
Unfortunately， a few days later after this incident， the boy had an accident and was drowned. His heartbroken father wrote...
“If only I could tell him how much I regret my thoughtless words， and could be assured that he knows how much my heart is aching.”
Love is a two-way street. Any loving act must be warmly accepted or it will be taken as rejection and can leave a scar. If we are too busy to give and receive love， we are too busy！ Nothing is more important than responding with love to the cry for love from those who are near and precious to us. Because... there may be no chance at all as in the case of the little boy...
父亲坐在办公桌旁，正盯着那些堆积了一个月来的账单，这时，他的小儿子冲了过来，大声宣布：
“爸爸，因为今天是你五十五岁的生日，我想给你五十五个吻，一年一个！”当男孩正要兑现诺言时，他爸爸大声说道：“哦，安德鲁，现在不行，我太忙了！”
小男孩马上不吭声了，蓝色的大眼睛里涌满了泪水。父亲深表歉意地说：“过会有空再亲吧。”
男孩什么也没说，只是静静地走开了，失望的表情溢于言表。那天晚上，父亲说：“来吧安德鲁，现在可以亲了！”但是，孩子却没有做出回应。
不幸的是，这件事刚过去几天之后，小男孩就不幸溺水身亡。伤心欲绝的爸爸写道：
“如果我早告诉他，对于那些无心的话我是多么后悔，他一定会明白我的心有多么痛。”
爱，是一条双行道。对于爱的表示一定要热心地接受，否则对方会以为你拒绝了，从而留下一道伤痕。如果我们忙得连给予和接受爱的时间都没有，那未免也忙得太过分了！对于那些在我们身边，对我们弥足珍贵的人，用爱去回应他们爱的渴望，这最重要不过了！因为……如果发生像小男孩这样的情况，即使后悔也没有机会了。
Don’t Let Scenery Always Be Far From you别让风景总在前方
Once upon a time a teacher and his student lay down under the big tree near the big grass area. Then suddenly the student asked the teacher.
“Teacher， I’m confused， how do we find our soul mate？ Can you please help me？”
Silent for a few seconds， the teacher then answered， “Well， it’s a pretty hard and an easy question.”
The teacher continued， “Look that way， there is a lot of grass， why don’t you walk there？ Please don’t walk backwards， just walk straight ahead. On your way， try to find a blade of beautiful grass and pick it up and then give it to me. But just one.”
The student said “Well， OK then... wait for me...”， and walked straight ahead to the grassy field.
A few minutes later the student came back.
The teacher asked， “Well， I don’t see a beautiful blade of grass in your hand.”
The student said， “On my journey， I found quite a few beautiful blade of grass， but I thought that I would find a better one， so I didn’t pick it. But I didn’t realize that I was at the end of the field， and I hadn’t picked any because you told me not to go back， so I didn’t go back.”
The teacher said， “That’s what will happen in real life.”
What is the message of this story？
In the story， grass is the people around you， the beautiful blade of grass is the people that attract you and the grassy field is time.
In looking for your soul mate， please don’t always compare and hope that there will be a better one. By doing that， you’ll waste your lifetime， cause remember “Time Never Goes Back”.
很久以前，有一位老师和一位学生，两人躺在一棵大树下，旁边是无垠的草地。突然学生问了老师一个问题。
“老师，我很困惑，我想知道如何才能找到和我情投意合的伴侣。你能帮帮我吗？”
老师想了几秒种，然后说：“嗯，这是一个很难但又很简单的问题。”
老师继续说：“往那边看，那边是无垠的草地。你何不过去走走，但是不要往回走，一直向前走。当你走路的时候，尽量寻找一棵美丽的草，然后把它拔下拿给我。但是只能拔一颗。”
学生说：“那好吧……等着我……”然后径直向草地走去。
几分钟后，学生回来了。
老师问到：“我看你手上没有漂亮的草呀。”
学生回答说：“我在路上发现了许多漂亮的草，但是我觉得我会找到更好的，于是就没有把它拔下来。但我没有意识到我已经走到了草地的尽头，因为你告诉我不要往回走，所以我一颗也没有拔。”
“这就是生活中经常发生的情况。”老师说到。
这则小故事想要告诉我们什么道理呢？
故事里面的草地就是你周围的人，美丽的草就是吸引你的人，而草地就是你一生拥有的时间。
在寻找人生伴侣的时候，请不要总是比较，希望将来会有更好的选择。如果这样做的话，你就会浪费一生的时间，因为请记住：时间一去不复返。
《Discuss Love》Written By Bacon培根《论爱情》
The stage is more beholding to love， than the life of man. For as to the stage， love is ever matter of comedies， and now and then of tragedies； but in life it does much mischief； sometimes like a siren， sometimes like a fury.
You may observe that among all the great and worthy persons， whereof the memory remained， either ancient or recent， there is not one that hath been transported to the mad degree of love： which shows that great spirits， and great business， do keep out this weak passion. You must except， nevertheless， Marcus Antonius， the half partner of the empire of Rome， and Appius Claudius， the decemvir and lawgiver； whereof the former was indeed a voluptuous man， and inordinate； but the latter was an austere and wise man： and therefore it seems though rarely that love can find entrance， not only into an open heart， but also into a heart well fortified， if watch be not well kept.
It is a poor saying of Epicurus， Satis magnum alter alteri theatrum sumus； as if man， made for the contemplation of heaven， and all noble objects， should do nothing but kneel before a little idol， and make himself a subject， though not of the mouth as beasts are， yet of the eye； which was given him for higher purposes.
It is a strange thing， to note the excess of this passion， and how it braves the nature， and value of things， by this； that the speaking in a perpetual hyperbole， is comely in nothing but in love. Neither is it merely in the phrase； for whereas it hath been well said， that the arch-flatterer， with whom all the petty flatterers have intelligence， is a man’s self； certainly the lover is more. For there was never proud man thought so absurdly well of himself， as the lover doth of the person loved； and therefore it was well said： “That it is impossible to love， and to be wise.” Neither doth this weakness appear to others only， and not to the party loved； but to the loved most of all， except the love be reciprocal.
For it is a true rule， that love is ever rewarded， either with the reciprocal， or with an inward and secret contempt. By how much the more， men ought to beware of this passion， which lose not only other things， but itself！ As for the other losses， the poet’s relation doth well figure them： that he that preferred Helena， quitted the gifts of Juno and Pallas. For whosoever esteeme too much of amorous affection， quitte both riches and wisdom.
This passion hath his floods， in very times of weakness； which are great prosperity， and great adversity； though this latter hath been less observed： both which times kindle love， and make it more fervent， and therefore show it to be the child of folly.
They do best， who if they cannot but admit love， yet make it keep quarters； and sever it wholly from their serious affairs， and actions， of life； for if it check once with business， it troubleth men’s fortunes， and maketh men， that they can no ways be true to their own ends. I know not how， but martial men are given to love： I think， it is but as they are given to wine； for perils commonly ask to be paid in pleasures.
There is in man’s nature， a secret inclination and motion， towards love of others， which if it be not spent upon some one or a few， doth naturally spread itself towards many， and maketh men become humane and charitable； as it is seen sometime in friars.
Nuptial love maketh mankind； friendly love perfecteth it； but wanton love corrupteth， and embaseth it.
舞台上的爱情要比生活中的爱情美好得多。在舞台上，爱情永远都是喜剧的题材，也不时成为悲剧的内容。但在人生中，爱情时而有如艳女，时而有如泼妇，惹是生非，招灾致祸。
值得注意的是，所有古今伟大而尊贵的人物，只要是我们还记得的，还没有一个会在爱情中被诱至热昏的程度，可见伟大的人物和伟大的事业的确可与这种孱弱之情毫不沾边。然而，有两个必须视为例外的事，一是曾为罗马帝国两个合伙统治者之一的马库斯·安东尼奥斯，还有就是作为十大执政官之一和拟订法典的阿皮尔斯·克劳迪亚斯。前者确是一个好色之徒，放纵无度；但后者却是一个严肃而多谋的人。所以，虽然不多见，但看起来，爱情不但会对不设防之心长驱直入，即或对严阵以待之心，也照样随进随驻，如果把守稍有松弛的话。
伊壁鸠鲁说过一句蹩脚的话，“我们彼此都是值得对方观赏的”，好像生来即向往天堂及一切崇高事物的人类，不该干别的，只应跪在一个小偶像面前，自己任由对方眼目所奴役，虽然还不至于如畜生一般为胃口所奴役，而上帝赐给人眼目本是为了更崇高之目的。
显而易见的是，看这种情欲之放纵，及其不顾事情就里和意义而肆意妄为的结果，真是触目惊心。就此而言，浮夸谄媚的词令仅仅适用于谈情说爱。这不仅是在言论上如此，因为一直都有这样一个很有见地的说法，说人主要吹嘘的是自己，但情人要算例外。情人眼里出西施，再自大的人也都不会夸张至此。所以，有人很精辟地说过：“人在爱情中不会聪明。”这种缺点并非只有外人可见，并非恋爱对象看不见——除非恋爱双方也在爱着对方。
铁定的规律是，爱情所得到的回报，从来都是要么得到回爱，要么得到对方内心隐隐的轻蔑。因此，人们更应小心对待这种情欲，它不但使人失去其它的东西，连爱情自己也保不住。至于其它方面的损失，诗人的诗史刻画得极好，说那个喜欢海伦的人放弃了朱诺和帕拉斯的礼物。凡是沉迷于爱情的人就会丢弃财富和智慧。
每当人处于脆弱状态时，即最亨通和最受挫时，这种情欲就泛滥成灾，虽然人在最受挫时也有此问题是一直较少人注意的。这两种状态都在引燃爱火并使其热烈，因此可见，爱情是愚昧之子。
有些人处理得极好，当他们非爱不可的时候，就予以节制，并使之与其重大任务和人生主旨彻底分离，因为爱情一旦掺和到正事上，就会破坏人的运气，使人再也无法持守自己既定的目标。我不明白：为什么武士们都是耽于爱情的，我想这是和他们好酒一样的吧，因为冒险多是需要快感作报酬的。
人性中有一种深藏的主动爱人的倾向和动机，若无具体对象得以倾注，它便会撒向大众，并使人变得仁厚而慈善，正如有时在天主教修道士身上所见到的情形那样。
夫妻的爱，使人类繁衍；朋友的爱，给人以帮助；荒淫纵欲的爱，却只会使人堕落。
The Measure Of Love Is When You Love Without Measure爱的限度就是无限度地去爱
Freda Bright says， “Only in opera do people die of love.” It’s true. You really can’t love somebody to death. I’ve known people to die from no love， but I’ve never known anyone to be loved to death. We just can’t love one another enough.
A heart-warming story tells of a woman who finally decided to ask her boss for a raise in salary. All day she felt nervous and apprehensive. Late in the afternoon she summoned the courage to approach her employer. To her delight， the boss agreed to a raise.
The woman arrived home that evening to a beautiful table set with their best dishes. Candles were softly glowing. Her husband had come home early and prepared a festive meal. She wondered if someone from the office had tipped him off， or... did he just somehow know that she would not get turned down？
She found him in the kitchen and told him the good news. They embraced and kissed， then sat down to the wonderful meal. Next to her plate the woman found a beautifully lettered note. It read： “Congratulations， darling！ I knew you’d get the raise！ These things will tell you how much I love you.”
Following the supper， her husband went into the kitchen to clean up. She noticed that a second card had fallen from his pocket. Picking it off the floor， she read： “Don’t worry about not getting the raise！ You deserve it anyway！ These things will tell you how much I love you.”
Someone has said that the measure of love is when you love without measure. What this man feels for his spouse is total acceptance and love， whether she succeeds or fails. His love celebrates her victories and soothes her wounds. He stands with her， no matter what life throws in their direction.
Upon receiving the Nobel Peace Prize， Mother Teresa said： “What can you do to promote world peace？ Go home and love your family.” And love your friends. Love them without measure.
弗里达·布赖特说过：“只有在歌剧中，人们才会为爱而死。” 这是千真万确的。的确，你不会因为爱一个人而死。我知道有人因为缺乏爱而死，可我从来没有听说过谁因被爱而死。我们恰好是相互之间爱也爱不够。
有一个感人的故事，讲的是有个女人终于决定去向老板提出加薪的要求。她一整天都焦虑不安。下午晚些时候，她鼓起勇气向老板提议。让她感到高兴的是，老板同意给她加薪。
当晚，女人回家后，发现漂亮的餐桌上已经摆满了丰盛的菜肴，烛光在轻轻地摇曳着。丈夫提早回家准备了一顿庆祝宴。她心想，会不会是办公室里有人向他通风报信了呢？或者……他不知怎么的竟知道她不会被拒绝？
她在厨房找到了他，告诉了他这个好消息。他们拥抱亲吻，然后坐下来共享美餐。在她的盘子旁边，女人看到了一张字迹优美的便条。上面写着：“祝贺你，亲爱的！我就知道你会加薪的。我为你做的这一切会告诉你，我有多么爱你。”
晚餐后，丈夫到厨房洗碗。她注意到又有张卡片从他口袋里掉了出来。她把卡片从地板上拣起来，念道：“不要因为没有加薪而烦恼！不管怎样，是该给你加薪了！我为你做的这一切会告诉你，我有多么爱你。”
有人曾经说过，爱的限度就是无限度地去爱。不管妻子成功还是失败，这个男人都给予她完全的包容和爱。他的爱庆祝她的胜利，也抚平她的创伤。不管生活的道路上遇到什么，他们始终同舟共济。
特蕾莎修女在接受诺贝尔和平奖时说道：“你能为促进世界和平做些什么呢？回家爱你的家人吧。”还要爱你的朋友。爱他们无止境。
Marriage， Love And Freedom 婚姻、爱与自由
You are asking，“Is it possible to be married and to be free？”
If you take marriage non-seriously， then you can be free. If you take it seriously， then freedom is impossible. Take marriage just as a game—it is a game. Have a little sense of humor， that it is a role you are playing on the stage of life； but it is not something that belongs to existence or has any reality—it is a fiction.
But people are so stupid that they even start taking fiction for reality. I have seen people reading fiction with tears in their eyes， because in the fiction things are going so tragically. It is a very good device in the movies that they put the lights off， so everybody can enjoy the movie， laugh， cry， be sad and be happy. If there was light it would be a little difficult—what will others think？ And they know perfectly well that the screen is empty—there is nobody； it is just a projected picture. But they forget it completely.
And the same has happened with our lives. Many things which are simply to be taken humorously， we take so seriously—and from that seriousness begins our problem.
In the first place， why should you get married？ You love someone， live with someone—it is part of your basic rights. You can live with someone， you can love someone.
Marriage is not something that happens in heaven， it happens here， through the crafty priests. But if you want to join the game with society and don’t want to stand alone and aloof， you make it clear to your wife or to your husband that this marriage is just a game： “Never take it seriously. I will remain as independent as I was before marriage， and you will remain as independent as you were before marriage. Neither I am going to interfere in your life， nor are you going to interfere in my life； we will live as two friends together， sharing our joys， sharing our freedom—but not becoming a burden on each other. And any moment we feel that the spring has passed， the honeymoon is over， we will be sincere enough not to go on pretending， but to say to each other that we loved much—and we will remain grateful to each other forever， and the days of love will haunt us in our memories， in our dreams， as golden— but the spring is over. Our paths have come to a point， where although it is sad， we have to part， because now， living together is not a sign of love. If I love you， I will leave you the moment I see my love has become a misery to you. If you love me， you will leave me the moment you see that your love is creating an imprisonment for me.”
Love is the highest value in life： It should not be reduced to stupid rituals. And love and freedom go together—you cannot choose one and leave the other. A man who knows freedom is full of love， and a man who knows love is always willing to give freedom. If you cannot give freedom to the person you love， to whom can you give freedom？ Giving freedom is nothing but trusting. Freedom is an expression of love.
So whether you are married or not， remember， all marriages are fake—just social conveniences. Their purpose is not to imprison you and bind you to each other； their purpose is to help you to grow with each other. But growth needs freedom； and in the past， all the cultures have forgotten that without freedom， love dies.
You see a bird on the wing in the sun， in the sky， and it looks so beautiful. Attracted by its beauty， you can catch the bird and put it in a golden cage.
Do you think it is the same bird？ Superficially， yes， it is the same bird who was flying in the sky； but deep down it is not the same bird—because where is its sky， where is its freedom？
This golden cage may be valuable to you； it is not valuable to the bird. For the bird， to be free in the sky is the only valuable thing in life. And the same is true about human beings.
你问：“结婚后还保持自由，可能吗？”
轻松地看待婚姻，自由是可能的；严肃地看待婚姻，自由绝不可能。把婚姻就看作游戏——它是个游戏。多一点幽默感，它只是你在人生舞台上扮演的一个角色；并不属于存在，也没有真实性——它是个虚构。
但人们如此愚蠢，居然把虚构当作现实。我看见，人们读小说，悲惨的故事让他们流泪。播放电影时，把灯关掉，这样做很好，因此每个人能享受这部电影，欢笑、哭泣、伤心、快乐。如果灯开着，这就有点难——如果表露情绪，别人会怎么想？他们知道得很清楚，屏幕空无一物——没有人，只是投影的图像。但他们完全忘了这个事实。
我们的生活里，也发生同样的事。很多事情，只须幽默看待，我们却那么严肃——结果问题纷至沓来。
首先，你为什么要结婚呢？你爱某人，与某人一起生活——这都是你的基本权利。你能与某人一起生活，你能爱某人。
天堂里没有婚姻，婚姻只在尘世，通过牧师的狡诈而存在。但是，如果你不想超然独立，而想参与这个社会游戏，那么你就要让你的妻子或丈夫弄清楚，婚姻仅仅是个游戏：“别把婚姻看得那么严肃。婚姻中，我将保持独立性，与婚前一样，你也是如此。你不妨碍我的生活，我也不妨碍你的生活；我们生活在一起，像两个好朋友，分享喜悦，分享自由——但绝不成为对方的负担。任何时刻，感觉到春天消失和蜜月结束，我们将足够真诚，绝不伪装，而告诉对方：我们曾非常相爱——我们将对此永远保持感激，那些充满爱的时光，萦绕在我们的记忆和梦里，如黄金般宝贵——但现在春天结束了。我们已走到那个点，尽管令人伤心，但我们必须分开，因为现在，共同生活不再是爱的象征。如果我真的爱你，当看见我的爱让你痛苦时，我将离开你；如果你真的爱我，当你看见你的爱禁锢我时，你将离开我。”
爱是生命的最高价值：它不该蜕化为愚蠢的仪式。爱和自由在一起——不能做选择。知道自由的人充满了爱，知道爱的人总会给予自由。如果你不能给你所爱的人自由，那你又能把自由给谁呢？给予自由不是别的，就是信任。自由就是爱的表达。
所以无论你是否结婚，记住，一切婚姻都是捏造品——仅仅为了社会的方便。婚姻的意图，不是让你们彼此囚禁和束缚，而是让你们彼此帮助，共同成长。但成长需要自由；在过去，所有文化都遗忘了：没有自由，爱就消失。
你看见一只鸟，在阳光灿烂的天空中飞翔，多么美！它的美吸引着你，你能捉住它，把它放进金鸟笼里。
你认为它还是原来那只鸟吗？表面上，它还是那只在天空中飞翔的鸟，但是，在深处它已经不是原来那只鸟——因为，没有它的天空，哪来它的自由？
这个金鸟笼，对你而言，也许有价值；对鸟而言，毫无价值。在鸟看来，空中的自由飞翔，才是它生命中唯一的价值。对于人类，也是同样的道理。
When You Are Old 当你老了
When you are old and gray and full of sleep，
And nodding by the fire， take down this book，
And slowly read， and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once， and of their shadows deep；
How many loved your moments of glad grace，
And loved your beauty with love false or true，
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you，
And loved the sorrows of your changing face；
And bending down beside the glowing bars，
Murmur， a little sadly， how love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face among a crowd of stars.
当你老了，头发发白了，睡意昏沉，
炉火旁打盹，请取下这部诗歌，
慢慢读，回想你过去眼神的柔和，
回想它们昔日浓重的阴影；
多少人爱你青春欢畅的时辰，
爱慕你的美丽，假意或真心，
只有一个人爱你那朝圣者的灵魂，
爱你衰老了的脸上痛苦的皱纹；
垂下头来，在红光闪耀的炉子旁，
凄然地轻轻诉说那爱情的消逝，
在头顶的山上它缓缓踱着步子，
在一群星星中间隐藏着脸庞……
Love And Time爱和时间
Once upon a time， there was an island where all the feelings lived： Happiness， Sadness， Knowledge， and all of the others， including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink， so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.
Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.
When the island had almost sunk， Love decided to ask for help.
Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said， “Richness， can you take me with you？”
Richness answered， “No， I can’t. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you.”
Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. “Vanity， please help me！”
“I can’t help you， Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat，” Vanity answered.
Sadness was close by so Love asked， “Sadness， let me go with you.”
“Oh … Love， I am so sad that I need to be by myself！”
Happiness passed by Love， too， but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.
Suddenly， there was a voice， “Come， Love， I will take you.” It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed， Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land， the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder，
Love asked Knowledge， another elder， “Who helped me？”
“It was Time，” Knowledge answered.
“Time？” asked Love. “But why did Time help me？”
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered， “Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is.”
从前有一个岛，所有的情感都住在那里：幸福、悲伤、知识和所有其它的，爱也不例外。一天，所有的情感听说小岛即将沉没，因此建造小船，纷纷离开，除了爱。
爱是唯一留下来的，因为它希望能坚持到最后一刻。
小岛即将沉没了，爱决定请求帮助。
富有驾着一艘大船从爱身边经过，爱说，“富有，你能带上我么？”
富有回答说：“不行，我的船上载满金银财宝，没有你的地方。”
虚荣坐在漂亮的小船中从爱身边驶过，爱问：“虚荣，你能帮助我么？”
虚荣说：“不行，你全身湿透，会弄脏我的船。”
悲伤的船靠近了，爱问：“悲伤，请带我走吧。”
“哦……爱，我太难过了，想一个人呆着。”
幸福经过爱的身边，它太开心了，根本没听见爱在呼唤。
突然，一个声音喊道：“来，爱，我带你走。”声音来自“年老”。爱太高兴了，甚至忘了问他们即将去何方。当他们来到岸上，年老自己离开了。爱突然意识到“年老”给了它多大的帮助。
于是，爱问另一位老者——知识：“谁帮助了我？”
知识说：“是时间。”
“时间？”爱问：“但是时间为什么帮助我？”
知识睿智地微笑道：“因为只有时间了解爱的价值。”
Damaged Goods毁坏的美好
The dust mites1 danced in the ray of sunshine that provided the only light in the rabbi’s2 office. He leaned back in his office chair and sighed as he stroked3 his beard. Then he took his wire-rimmed glasses and polished them absentmindedly on his flannel6 shirt.
“ So，” he said， “ you were divorced. Now you want to marry this good Jewish boy. What’s the problem？”
He nestled his grizzled chin in his hand and smiled softly at me.
I want to shriek. What’s the problem？ First of all， I’m Christian. Second， I’m older than he is. Third—and not least， by any means—I’m divorced！ Instead， I looked back into his soft brown eyes and tried to form the words.
“ Don’t you think，” I stuttered，“ that being divorced is like being used？ Like being damaged goods？”
He settled back into the office chair and stretched so that he was looking at the ceiling. He stroked the scraggly beard that covered his chin and his neck. Then， he returned to his spot behind the desk and leaned toward me.
“Say you have to have surgery. Say you have a choice between two doctors. Who are you going to choose？ The one right out of medical school or the one with experience？”
“The one with experience， “I said.
His face crinkled into a grin. “I would， too，” he locked his eyes with mine. “So in this marriage， you will be the one with experience. That’s not such a bad thing， you know.”
“Often，marriages tend to drift. They get caught in dangerous currents. They get off course and head toward hidden sandbars. No one notices until it is too late. On your face， I see the pain of a marriage gone bad. You will notice the drift in this marriage. You’ll call out when you see the rocks. You’ll yell to watch out and pay attention. You’ll be the person with experience，” he sighed. “And believe me，that’s not such a bad thing. Not bad at all.”
He walked to the window and peeked between the slats of the blinds. “You see， no one here knows about my first wife. I don’t hide it，but I don’t make a big deal about it. She died early in our marriage before I moved here. Now， late at night I think of all the words I never said. I think of all the chances I let pass by in that first marriage， and I believe I’m a better husband to my wife today because of the woman I lost.”
For the first time，the sadness in his eyes had meaning. Now I understood why I chose to come to talk to this man about marriage instead of taking an easier route and getting married outside both our religions. The word “rabbi” means teacher. Somehow I sensed he could teach me，or even lend me，the courage I needed in order to try again，to marry again and to love again.
“I will marry you and your David，” said the rabbi， “If you promise me that you will be the person who yells out when you see the marriage is in danger.”
I promised him I would， and I rose to leave.
“By the way，” he called to me as I hesitated in his doorway，“did anyone ever tell you that Joanna is a good Hebrew name？”
Sixteen years have passed since the rabbi married David and me on a rainy October morning. And， yes， I have called out several times when I sensed we were in danger. I would tell the rabbi how well his analogy has served me， but I cannot. He died two years after our wedding. But I will always be grateful for the priceless gift he gave me： the wisdom to know that all of our experiences in life make us not less valuable， but more valuable， not less able to love， but more able to love.
微尘在射进拉比办公室的那缕阳光中飞舞着，那缕阳光是拉比办公室里惟一的光源。拉比坐在椅子上往后仰，抚摸着他的胡须叹息了一声。他摘下金属丝镜架的眼镜，漫不经心地在他的法兰绒衬衫上擦拭着。
“这么说，”他开了口，“你离婚了。现在你想与这位犹太好小伙子结婚，有什么问题？”
他用手把住他那有花白胡须的下巴，温柔地冲我微笑着。
我真想尖叫。有什么问题？首先，我是基督教徒。第二，我比他年龄大。第三，这绝不是最不重要的——我离过婚！但我没有叫，而是迎向他那双温柔的棕色的眼睛，努力组织着话语。
“您不认为，”我结结巴巴地说，“离过婚就像东西被用过一样吗？就像是受损的物品吗？”
他坐在椅子上，头往后靠，伸直了腿，将目光投向天花板。他轻捋着他那稀稀拉拉的、遮盖了下巴和脖子的胡须，然后他将身子转回办公桌前并朝我这边俯过来。
“比如说你得做个手术。有两位医生可供你选择。你会选谁？选位刚从医学院毕业的，还是选那位有经验的？”
“有经验的那位，”我回答。
他笑了，脸上都是皱纹。“我也是，”他凝视着我说。“那么在这桩婚姻中，你就是有经验的一方。要知道这并不是什么坏事。”
“婚姻往往像在水上漂流，会陷入危险的激流里，会偏离航向流向暗藏的沙洲。等注意到时已经晚了。在你的脸上，我看到了一桩失败婚姻留下的痛苦。在这桩婚姻中你会注意到流向。当你看到岩石时你会大喊一声，你会呼叫要小心些，注意点。你将是有经验的那个人，”他叹息着说，“相信我，那并不是什么坏事，真地不是。”
他走到窗边，透过百叶板向外瞥了一眼。“你瞧，这里没有人知道我的第一位妻子。我并没有掩藏，但我也没有大肆渲染。我们结婚没多久她就去世了，后来我迁居到这里。现在，夜深人静时我想到所有那些我从未能说出的话，我想到所有那些我在第一次婚姻中错过的机会。我相信对于我现在的妻子我是个更好的丈夫，是因为那位我失去的女人。”
他眼里的悲伤显露出了含义。现在我明白了为什么我选择来和这个人谈婚姻，而没有图省事去找不属于我们双方宗教的人为我们主持婚礼。“拉比”一词意味着老师。不知怎的，我感觉出他会教给我，甚至会给予我去再次尝试、再次结婚、再次奉献出爱情所需要的勇气。
“我会为你和你的戴维主持婚礼，”拉比说，“但条件是，你要答应我，当你发现婚姻陷入危机时你要大声说出来。”
我答应他我会的，然后我起身离开。
“顺便说一句，”当我走到门口犹豫片刻时他叫住我，“有没有人告诉过你乔安娜是个好的希伯来语名字？”
10月一个下雨的早晨，拉比为我和戴维举行了婚礼。一晃16年过去了。是的，有几次当我感觉到我们身陷危机时我就大声地说了出来。我多想告诉拉比他的比喻让我多么受益。但是我无法告诉他。我们结婚两年后他就去世了。但是我永远感激他赐予我的无价的礼物：一种智慧，它使我懂得我们生活中所有的经历并不会使我们贬值，而是使我们更有价值，并不会使我们丧失爱的能力，而是使我们更有能力去爱。
Aphorism About Love爱情箴言
Where there is great love， there are always miracles.
Love is like a butterfly. It goes where it pleases and it pleases where it goes.
If I had a single flower for every time I think about you， I could walk forever in my garden.
Within you I lose myself， without you I find myself wanting to be lost again.
At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
Look into my eyes—you will see what you mean to me.
Distance makes the hearts grow fonder.
If equal affection cannot be， let the more loving be me.
Love is a vine that grows into our hearts.
If I know what love is， it is because of you.
Love is the greatest refreshment in life.
The darkness is no darkness with thee.
We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
There is no remedy for love but to love more.
A heart that loves is always young.
Love is blind.
The soul cannot live without love.
Who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one.
Love keeps the cold out better than a cloak.
Take away love， and our earth is a tomb.
I’ll think of you every step of the way.
The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman’s heart.
Every day without you is like a book without pages.
Love is hard to get into， but harder to get out of.
Love is a light that never dims.
May your love soar on the wings of a dove in flight.
Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
No words are necessary between two loving hearts.
You make my heart smile.
The road to a lover’s house is never long.
Being with you is like walking on a very clear morning.
It is never too late to fall in love.
To the world you may be just one person. To the person you may be the world.
Where there is love， there are always wishes.
You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful， but she is beautiful because you love her.
Love is something eternal； the aspect may change， but not the essence.
Love is not a matter of counting the days. It’s making the days count.
With the wonder of your love， the sun above always shines.
Love is a fabric that nature wove and fantasy embroidered.
First love is unforgettable all one’s life.
In the very smallest cot there is room enough for a loving pair.
Love’s tongue is in the eyes.
In love folly is always sweet.
There is no hiding from lover’s eyes.
The heart that once truly loves never forgets.
Love warms more than a thousand fires.
Your smiling at me is my daily dose of magic.
Your kiss still burns on my lips， everyday of mine is so beautiful.
Love understands love； it needs no talk.
Love me little and love me long.
First impression of you is most lasting.
When the words “I love you” were said by you for the first time， my world blossoms.
Tell me you are mine. I’ll be yours through all the years， till the end of time.
I feel happy at times we have had angry words but these have been kissed away.
You cannot appreciate happiness unless you have known sadness too.
But if the while I think on thee， dear friend， all losses are restored， and sorrows end.
哪里有真爱存在，哪里就有奇迹。
爱情就像一只蝴蝶，它喜欢飞到哪里，就把欢乐带到哪里。
假如每次想起你我都会得到一朵鲜花，那么我将永远在花丛中徜徉。
有了你，我迷失了自我。失去你，我多么希望自己再度迷失。
每一个沐浴在爱河中的人都是诗人。
看看我的眼睛——你会发现你对我而言意味着什么。
距离使两颗心靠得更近。
如果没有相等的爱，那就让我爱多一些吧。
爱是长在我们心里的藤蔓。
因为你，我懂得了爱。
爱情是生活最好的提神剂。
有了你，黑暗不再是黑暗。
如果没有人爱我们，我们也就不会再爱自己了。
治疗爱的创伤唯有加倍地去爱。
有爱的心永远年轻。
爱情是盲目的。
灵魂不能没有爱而存在。
在爱人眼里，一千里的旅程不过一里。
爱比大衣更能驱走寒冷。
没有了爱，地球便成了坟墓。
我会想你，在漫漫长路的每一步。
在这个世界上，男人最珍贵的财产就是一个女人的心。
没有你的日子就像一本没有书页的书。
爱很难投入，但一旦投入，便更难走出。
爱是一盏永不昏暗的明灯。
愿你的爱乘着飞翔的白鸽，展翅高飞。
生命如花，爱情是蜜。
两颗相爱的心之间不需要言语。
我的心因你而笑。
通往爱人家里的路总不会漫长。
和你在一起就像在一个清爽的早晨漫步。
爱永远不会嫌晚。
对于世界，你可能只是一个人，但对于某个人，你却是整个世界。
哪里有爱，哪里就有希望。
你不会因为美丽去爱一个女人，但她却会因为你的爱而变得美丽。
爱是永恒的，外表可能改变，但本质永远不变。
爱情不是数着日子过去，它让每个日子都变得有意义。
拥有你美丽的爱情，太阳就永远明媚。
爱情是一方织巾，用自然编织，用幻想点缀。
初恋是永生难忘的。
哪怕是最小的茅舍，对一对恋人来说都有足够的空间。
爱情的话语全在双眼之中。
恋爱中，干傻事总是让人感到十分美妙。
什么也瞒不过恋人的眼睛。
真挚恋爱过的心永不忘却。
爱情的炽热胜过千万团的火。
你嫣然的微笑是我每日享受到的魅力。
你的吻还在我的唇上发烫，从此我的日子变得如此美丽。
相爱的心息息相通，无需用言语倾诉。
不求情意绵绵，但求天长地久。
对你最初的印象，久久难以忘怀。
第一次听到你对我说“我爱你”，我的世界一瞬间鲜花绽开。
请告诉我你是我的。岁岁年年，我都属于你，永远、永远。
我们生气争执时，爱的双唇把它们吻得无影无踪，我的心也顿觉甜蜜。
不知道什么是忧伤，就不会真正感激幸福。
只要我一想起你，亲爱的人，所有的失落和遗憾烟消云散。
Love Grew In Hearts爱在心里成长
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person， we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
When the door of happiness closes， another opens， but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one which has been opened for us.
The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with， never say a word， and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.
It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it， but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.
Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they’ll love you back！ Don’t expect love in return； just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn’t， be content it grew in yours.
Don’t go for looks； they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth； even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.
或许是上帝的安排，在最终找到知音之前，我们总要遇到一些不尽如意的人，只有这样，我们才能对知音这份礼物充满感激之情。
一道幸福之门关闭时，另一扇就会打开。我们经常太多太多地只看见关闭的门，而对开启的门却熟视无睹。
也许最好的朋友就是那些你坐在门廊下，看到的来回过往的行人。你与他们一言未语，走开时却感到好像有过最好的交谈。
无疑，一件东西只有失去时，我们才会懂得其真正的价值。同样，一件东西在得到之前，我们并没有意识到它的缺少。
将爱全部付出，并不能确保一定会得到回报。别指望爱有什么回报，耐心地等待它在你所爱的人的心里生根发芽，成长壮大。即使不会那样，也要感到满足，相信爱在自己心里成长。
不要追求华丽的外表，外表常常具有欺骗性。不要追求万贯家产，财富也会散尽。寻找那个可以使你微笑的人，只有微笑才能使黑暗的日子变得光明。寻找那个能够使你的心灵微笑的人。
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