ALBERT STOKES Barry Foster
MRS. STOKES, his mother Mary O'Farrell
SEELEY Harold Pinter
KEDGE John Rye
BARMAN AT THE COFFEE STALL Walter Hall
OLD MAN Norman Wynne
MR. KING David Bird
MR. RYAN Norman Wynne
GIDNEY Nicholas Selby
JOYCE Jane Jordan Rogers
EILEEN Auriol Smith
BETTY Margaret Hotine
HORNE Hugh Dickson
BARROW David Spenser
THE GIRL Vivien Merchant
Produced by Donald McWhinnie
The play was televised by A.B.C. Armchair Theatre on 24 April 1960, with the following cast:
ALBERT STOKES Tom Bell
MRS. STOKES, his mother Madge Ryan
SEELEY Harold Pinter
KEDGE Philip Locke
BARMAN AT THE COFFEE STALL Edmond Bennett
OLD MAN Gordon Phillott
MR. KING Arthur Lowe
MR. RYAN Edward Malin
GIDNEY Stanley Meadows
JOYCE José Read
EILEEN Maria Lennard
BETTY Mary Duddy
HORNE Stanley Segal
BARROW Walter Hall
THE GIRL Vivien Merchant
Produced by Philip Saville
Act One
SCENE ONE
The kitchen of MRS. STOKES' small house in the south of London. Clean and tidy.
ALBERT, a young man of twenty-eight, is standing in his skirt and trousers, combing his hair in the kitchen mirror over the mantelpiece. A woman's voice calls his name from upstairs. He ignores it, picks up a brush from the mantelpiece and brushes his hair. The voice calls again. He slips the comb in his pocket, bends down, reaches under the sink and takes out a shoe duster. He begins to polish his shoes. MRS. STOKES descends the stairs, passes through the hall and enters the kitchen.
MOTHER: Albert, I've been calling you. [She watches him.] What are you doing?
ALBERT: Nothing.
MOTHER: Didn't you hear me call you, Albert? I've been calling you from upstairs.
ALBERT: You seen my tie?
MOTHER: Oh, I say, I'll have to put the flag out.
ALBERT: What do you mean?
MOTHER: Cleaning your shoes, Albert? I'll have to put the flag out, won't I?
ALBERT puts the brush back under the sink and begins to search the sideboard and cupboard.
What are you looking for?
ALBERT: My tie. The striped one, the blue one.
MOTHER: The bulb's gone in Grandma's room.
ALBERT: Has it?
MOTHER: That's what I was calling you about. I went in and switched on the light and the bulb had gone.
She watches him open the kitchen cabinet and look into it.
Aren't those your best trousers, Albert? What have you put on your best trousers for?
ALBERT: Look, Mum, where's my tie? The blue one, the blue tie, where is it? You know the one I mean, the blue striped one, I gave it to you this morning.
MOTHER: What do you want your tie for?
ALBERT: I want to put it on. I asked you to press it for me this morning. I gave it to you this morning before I went to work, didn't I?
She goes to the gas stove, examines the vegetables, opens the oven and looks into it.
MOTHER [gently]: Well, your dinner'll be ready soon. You can look for it afterwards. Lay the table, there's a good boy.
ALBERT: Why should I look for it afterwards? You know where it is now.
MOTHER: You've got five minutes. Go down to the cellar, Albert, get a bulb and put it in Grandma's room, go on.
ALBERT [irritably]: I don't know why you keep calling that room Grandma's room, she's been dead ten years.
MOTHER: Albert!
ALBERT: I mean, it's just a junk room, that's all it is.
MOTHER: Albert, that's no way to speak about your Grandma, you know that as well as I do.
ALBERT: I'm not saying a word against Grandma-
MOTHER: You'll upset me in a minute, you go on like that.
ALBERT: I'm not going on about anything.
MOTHER: Yes, you are. Now why don't you go and put a bulb in Grandma's room and by the time you come down I'll have your dinner on the table.
ALBERT: I can't go down to the cellar, I've got my best trousers on, I've got a white shirt on.
MOTHER: You're dressing up tonight, aren't you? Dressing up, cleaning your shoes, anyone would think you were going to the Ritz.
ALBERT: I'm not going to the Ritz.
MOTHER [suspiciously]: What do you mean, you're not going to the Ritz?
ALBERT: What do you mean?
MOTHER: The way you said you're not going to the Ritz, it sounded like you were going somewhere else.
ALBERT [wearily]: I am.
MOTHER [shocked surprise]: You're going out?
ALBERT: You know I'm going out. I told you I was going out. I told you last week. I told you this morning. Look, where's my tie? I've got to have my tie. I'm late already. Come on, Mum, where'd you put it?
MOTHER: What about your dinner?
ALBERT [searching]: Look… I told you… I haven't got the… wait a minute… ah, here it is.
MOTHER: You can't wear that tie. I haven't pressed it.
ALBERT: You have. Look at it. Of course you have. It's beautifully pressed. It's fine.
He ties the tie.
MOTHER: Where are you going?
ALBERT: Mum, I've told you, honestly, three times. Honestly, I've told you three times I had to go out tonight.
MOTHER: No, you didn't.
ALBERT exclaims and knots the tie.
I thought you were joking.
ALBERT: I'm not going… I'm just going to Mr. King's. I've told you. You don't believe me.
MOTHER: You're going to Mr. King's?
ALBERT: Mr. Ryan's leaving. You know Ryan. He's leaving the firm. He's been there years. So Mr. King's giving a sort of party for him at his house… well, not exactly a party, not a party, just a few… you know… anyway, we're all invited. I've got to go. Everyone else is going. I've got to go. I don't want to go, but I've got to.
MOTHER [bewildered, sitting]: Well, I don't know…
ALBERT [with his arm round her]: I won't be late. I don't want to go. I'd much rather stay with you.
MOTHER: Would you?
ALBERT: You know I would. Who wants to go to Mr. King's party?
MOTHER: We were going to have our game of cards.
ALBERT: Well, we can't have our game of cards.
[Pause.]
MOTHER: Put the bulb in Grandma's room, Albert.
ALBERT: I've told you I'm not going down to the cellar in my white shirt. There's no light in the cellar either. I'll be pitch black in five minutes, looking for those bulbs.
MOTHER: I told you to put a light in the cellar. I told you yesterday.
ALBERT: Well, I can't do it now.
MOTHER: If we had a light in the cellar you'd be able to see where those bulbs were. You don't expect me to go down to the cellar?
ALBERT: I don't know why we keep bulbs in the cellar!
[Pause.]
MOTHER: Your father would turn in his grave if he heard you raise your voice to me. You're all I've got, Albert. I want you to remember that. I haven't got anyone else. I want you… I want you to bear that in mind.
ALBERT: I'm sorry… I raised my voice.
He goes to the door.
[Mumbling.] I've got to go.
MOTHER [following]: Albert!
ALBERT: What?
MOTHER: I want to ask you a question.
ALBERT: What?
MOTHER: Are you leading a clean life?
ALBERT: A clean life?
MOTHER: You're not leading an unclean life, are you?
ALBERT: What are you talking about?
MOTHER: You're not messing about with girls, are you? You're not going to go messing about with girls tonight?
ALBERT: Don't be so ridiculous.
MOTHER: Answer me, Albert. I'm your mother.
ALBERT: I don't know any girls.
MOTHER: If you're going to the firm's party, there'll be girls there, won't there? Girls from the office?
ALBERT: I don't like them, any of them.
MOTHER: You promise?
ALBERT: Promise what?
MOTHER: That… that you won't upset your father.
ALBERT: My father? How can I upset my father? You're always talking about upsetting people who are dead!
MOTHER: Oh, Albert, you don't know how you hurt me, you don't know the hurtful way you've got, speaking of your poor father like that.
ALBERT: But he is dead.
MOTHER: He's not! He's living! [Touching her breast.] In here! And this is his house!
[Pause.]
ALBERT: Look, Mum, I won't be late… and I won't…
MOTHER: But what about your dinner? It's nearly ready.
ALBERT: Seeley and Kedge are waiting for me. I told you not to cook dinner this morning. [He goes to the stairs.] Just because you never listen…
He runs up the stairs and disappears. She calls after him from the hall.
MOTHER: Well, what am I going to do while you're out? I can't go into Grandma's room because there's no light. I can't go down to the cellar in the dark, we were going to have a game of cards, it's Friday night, what about our game of rummy?
SCENE TWO
A coffee stall by a railway arch. A wooden bench is situated a short distance from it.
SEELEY and KEDGE, both about ALBERT's age, are at the counter, talking to the barman. An old man leans at the corner of the counter.
SEELEY: Give us a cheese roll as well, will you?
KEDGE: Make it two.
SEELEY: Make it two.
BARMAN: Two cheese rolls.
SEELEY: What are these, sausages?
BARMAN: Best pork sausages.
SEELEY [to KEDGE]: You want a sausage?
KEDGE [shuddering]: No, thanks.
SEELEY: Yes, you're right.
BARMAN: Two cheese rolls. What about these sausages, you want them or don't you?
SEELEY: Just the rolls, mate.
BARMAN: Two tea, two rolls, makes one and eightpence.
SEELEY gives him half a crown.
KEDGE: There'll be plenty to eat at the party.
SEELEY: I'll bet.
OLD MAN: Eh! [They turn to him.] Your mate was by here not long ago.
SEELEY: Which mate?
OLD MAN: He had a cup of tea, didn't he, Fred? Sitting over there he was, on the bench. He said he was going home to change but to tell you he'd be back.
KEDGE: Uh-uh.
OLD MAN: Not gone more than above forty-five minutes.
BARMAN: One and eight from half a dollar leaves you ten pennies.
OLD MAN: Anyway, he told me to tell you when I see you he was coming back.
KEDGE: Thanks very much.
SEELEY: Well, I hope he won't be long. I don't want to miss the booze.
KEDGE: You think there'll be much there, do you?
OLD MAN: Yes, he was sitting over there.
KEDGE: Who was?
OLD MAN: Your mate.
SEELEY: Oh yes.
OLD MAN: Yes, sitting over there he was. Took his cup of tea and went and sat down, didn't he, Fred? He sat there looking very compressed with himself.
KEDGE: Very what?
OLD MAN: Compressed. I thought he was looking compressed, didn't you, Fred?
BARMAN: Depressed. He means depressed.
SEELEY: No wonder. What about that game on Saturday, eh?
KEDGE: You were going to tell me. You haven't told me yet.
BARMAN: What game? Fulham?
SEELEY: No, the firm. Firm's got a team, see? Play on Saturdays.
BARMAN: Who'd you play?
SEELEY: Other firms.
BARMAN: You boys in the team, are you?
KEDGE: Yes. I've been off sick though. I didn't play last week.
BARMAN: Sick, eh? You want to try one of my sausages, don't he, Henry?
OLD MAN: Oh, ay, yes.
KEDGE: What happened with the game, then?
They move to the bench.
SEELEY: Well, when you couldn't play, Gidney moved Albert to left back.
KEDGE: He's a left half.
SEELEY: I know he's a left half. I said to Gidney myself, I said to him, look, why don't you go left back, Gidney? He said, no, I'm too valuable at centre half.
KEDGE: He didn't, did he?
SEELEY: Yes. Well, you know who was on the right wing, don't you? Connor.
KEDGE: Who? Tony Connor?
SEELEY: No. You know Connor. What's the matter with you? You've played against Connor yourself.
KEDGE: Oh-whatsisname-Micky Connor.
SEELEY: Yes.
KEDGE: I thought he'd given up the game.
SEELEY: No, what are you talking about? He plays for the printing works, plays outside right for the printing works.
KEDGE: He's a good ballplayer, that Connor, isn't he?
SEELEY: Look. I said to Albert before the kick off, Connor's on the right wing, I said, play your normal game. I told him six times before the kick off.
KEDGE: What's the good of him playing his normal game? He's a left half, he's not a left back.
SEELEY: Yes, but he's a defensive left half, isn't he? That's why I told him to play his normal game. You don't want to worry about Connor, I said, he's a good ballplayer but he's not all that good.
KEDGE: Oh, he's good, though.
SEELEY: No one's denying he's good. But he's not all that good. I mean, he's not tip-top. You know what I mean?
KEDGE: He's fast.
SEELEY: He's fast, but he's not all that fast, is he?
KEDGE [doubtfully]: Well, not all that fast…
SEELEY: What about Levy? Was Levy fast?
KEDGE: Well, Levy was a sprinter.
SEELEY: He was a dasher, Levy. All he knew was run.
KEDGE: He could move.
SEELEY: Yes, but look how Albert played him! He cut him off, he played him out the game. And Levy's faster than Connor.
KEDGE: Yes, but he wasn't so clever, though.
SEELEY: Well, what about Foxall?
KEDGE: Who? Lou Foxall?
SEELEY: No, you're talking about Lou Fox, I'm talking about Sandy Foxall.
KEDGE: Oh, the winger.
SEELEY: Sure. He was a very smart ballplayer, Foxall. But what did Albert do? He played his normal game. He let him come. He waited for him. And Connor's not as clever as Foxall.
KEDGE: He's clever though.
SEELEY: Gawd blimey, I know he's clever, but he's not as clever as Foxall, is he?
KEDGE: The trouble is, with Connor, he's fast too, isn't he?
SEELEY: But if Albert would have played his normal game! He played a game foreign to him.
KEDGE: How many'd Connor get?
SEELEY: He made three and scored two.
Pause. They eat.
KEDGE: No wonder he's depressed, old Albert.
SEELEY: Oh, he was very depressed after the game, I can tell you. And of course Gidney was after him, of course. You know Gidney.
KEDGE: That birk.
[Pause.]
OLD MAN: Yes, he was sitting over where you are now, wasn't he, Fred? Looking very compressed with himself. Light-haired bloke, ain't he?
SEELEY: Yes, light-haired.
SCENE THREE
The house.
ALBERT is coming down the stairs. He is wearing his jacket. He goes towards the door. His mother calls from the kitchen and goes into the hall.
MOTHER: Albert! Where are you going?
ALBERT: Out.
MOTHER: Your dinner's ready.
ALBERT: I'm sorry. I haven't got time to have it.
MOTHER: Look at your suit. You're not going out with your suit in that state, are you?
ALBERT: What's the matter with it?
MOTHER: It needs a good brush, that's what's the matter with it. You can't go out like that. Come on, come in here and I'll give it a brush.
ALBERT: It's all right…
MOTHER: Come on.
They go into the kitchen. She gets the brush.
Turn round. No, stand still. You can't go out and disgrace me, Albert. If you've got to go out you've got to look nice. There, that's better.
She dusts his jacket with her hands and straightens his tie.
I didn't tell you what I made for you, did I? I made it specially. I made Shepherd's Pie tonight.
ALBERT [taking her hand from his tie]: The tie's all right.
He goes to the door.
Well, ta-ta.
MOTHER: Albert! Wait a minute. Where's your handkerchief?
ALBERT: What handkerchief?
MOTHER: You haven't got a handkerchief in your breast pocket.
ALBERT: That doesn't matter, does it?
MOTHER: Doesn't matter? I should say it does matter. Just a minute. [She takes a handkerchief from a drawer.] Here you are. A nice clean one. [She arranges it in his pocket.] You mustn't let me down, you know. You've got to be properly dressed. Your father was always properly dressed. You'd never see him out without a handkerchief in his breast pocket. He always looked like a gentleman.
SCENE FOUR
The coffee stall.
KEDGE is returning from the counter with two teas.
KEDGE: Time we were there.
SEELEY: We'll give him five minutes.
KEDGE: I bet his Mum's combing his hair for him, eh?
He chuckles and sits.
You ever met her, Seeley?
SEELEY: Who?
KEDGE: His… mother.
SEELEY: Yes.
KEDGE: What's she like?
SEELEY [shortly]: She's all right.
KEDGE: All right, is she?
SEELEY: I told you. I just said she was all right.
[Pause.]
KEDGE: No, what I mean is, he always gets a bit niggly when she's mentioned, doesn't he? A bit touchy. You noticed that?
SEELEY [unwillingly]: Yes.
KEDGE: Why's that, then?
SEELEY: I don't know. What're you asking me for?
KEDGE: I don't know. I just thought you might… sort of… well, I mean, you know him better than I do, don't you?
[Pause.]
Of course, he don't let much slip, does he, old Albert?
SEELEY: No, not much.
KEDGE: He's a bit deep really, isn't he?
SEELEY: Yes, he's a bit deep.
[Pause.]
KEDGE: Secretive.
SEELEY [irritably]: What do you mean, secretive? What are you talking about?
KEDGE: I was just saying he was secretive.
SEELEY: What are you talking about? What do you mean, he's secretive?
KEDGE: You said yourself he was deep.
SEELEY: I said he was deep. I didn't say he was secretive!
ALBERT walks through the railway arch across to the bench.
KEDGE: Hullo, Albert.
ALBERT: Hullo.
KEDGE: That's a nice bit of clobber you've got on there.
SEELEY: Very fair, very fair.
KEDGE: Yes, fits you like a glove.
SEELEY: Well, come on, catch a thirty-six round the corner.
ALBERT: Wait a minute, I… I don't think I feel like going, actually.
KEDGE: What are you talking about?
ALBERT: I don't feel like it, that's all.
SEELEY: What, with all that drink laid on?
ALBERT: No, I've just got a bit of a headache.
OLD MAN: That's the bloke! That's the bloke was here before, isn't it, Fred? I gave them your message, son.
ALBERT: Oh… thanks.
OLD MAN: Didn't I?
KEDGE: You did, you did, mate.
SEELEY: Well, what's going on, you coming or what?
ALBERT [touching his forehead]: No, I feel a bit… you know…
KEDGE: Don't you know who'll be there tonight, Albert?
ALBERT: Who?
KEDGE: Joyce.
ALBERT: Joyce? Well, what about it?
KEDGE: And Eileen.
ALBERT: Well, so what?
KEDGE: And Betty. Betty'll be there. They'll all be there.
SEELEY: Betty? Who's Betty?
KEDGE: Betty? What do you mean? You don't know Betty?
SEELEY: There's no girl in the office called Betty.
KEDGE: Betty! The dark bit! The new one. The one that came in last week. The little one, in the corner!
SEELEY: Oh, her. Is her name Betty? I thought it was-
KEDGE: Betty. Her name's Betty.
SEELEY: I've been calling her Hetty.
[Pause.]
KEDGE: Anywhat, she'll be there. She's raring to go, that one.
ALBERT: Well, you go then, I'll…
KEDGE: Albert, what's the matter with you, mate? It's wine, women and song tonight.
ALBERT: I see them every day, don't I? What's new in that?
KEDGE: You frightened Gidney'll be after you, then, because of the game?
ALBERT: What do you mean?
KEDGE: Go on, everyone has a bad game, Albert.
ALBERT: Yes, they do, don't they?
KEDGE: I played against Connor myself once. He's tricky. He's a very tricky ballplayer.
ALBERT: Yes.
SEELEY: Clever player, Connor.
ALBERT: What's Gidney got to do with it, Kedge?
KEDGE: Well, you know what he is.
ALBERT: What?
KEDGE: Well, he's captain of the team, isn't he, for a bang-off?
ALBERT: You think-?
SEELEY: Oh, scrub round it, will you? It's late-
ALBERT: You think I'm frightened of Gidney?
KEDGE: I didn't say you were-
SEELEY: Gidney's all right. What's the matter with Gidney?
ALBERT: Yes. What's wrong with him?
KEDGE: Nothing. There's nothing wrong with him. He's a nice bloke. He's a charmer, isn't he?
SEELEY: The cream of the cream. Well, come on, you coming or what?
ALBERT: Yes, all right. I'll come.
SEELEY: Just a minute. I'll get some fags.
He goes to the counter. ALBERT and KEDGE are left standing.
[To the BARMAN.] Twenty 'Weights', mate.
KEDGE regards ALBERT.
KEDGE: How's your Mum, Albert?
ALBERT: All right.
KEDGE: That's the idea.
BARMAN: Only got 'Woods'.
SEELEY: They'll do.
ALBERT [quietly]: What do you mean, how's my Mum?
KEDGE: I just asked how she was, that's all.
ALBERT: Why shouldn't she be all right?
KEDGE: I didn't say she wasn't.
ALBERT: Well, she is.
KEDGE: Well, that's all right then, isn't it?
ALBERT: What are you getting at?
KEDGE: I don't know what's the matter with you tonight, Albert.
SEELEY [returning]: What's up now?
ALBERT: Kedge here, suddenly asks how my mother is.
KEDGE: Just a friendly question, that's all. Gaw! You can't even ask a bloke how his mother is now without him getting niggly!
ALBERT: Well, why's he suddenly ask-?
SEELEY: He was just asking a friendly question, mate. What's the matter with you?
[Pause]
ALBERT: Oh.
SEELEY: Well, how is she, then?
ALBERT: She's fine. What about yours?
SEELEY: Fine. Fine.
[Pause.]
KEDGE: Mine's fine too, you know. Great. Absolutely great. A marvel for her age, my mother is. Of course, she had me very late.
[Pause.]
SEELEY: Well? Are you coming or not? Or what?
KEDGE: I'm coming.
ALBERT [following]: I'm coming.
SCENE FIVE
The kitchen. The MOTHER is putting ALBERT's dinner into the oven. She takes the alarm clock from the mantelpiece and puts it on the table. She takes out a pack of cards, sits at the table and begins to lay out a game of patience. Close up of her, broodingly setting out the cards. Close up of the clock. It is seven forty-five.
Act Two
SCENE ONE
The lounge of MR. KING'S house. The party is in progress. KEDGE and BETTY are dancing. Music comes from a radiogram. MR. KING, an urbane man in his fifties, GIDNEY, the chief accountant, in his late twenties, SEELEY and ALBERT, are standing in a group. JOYCE and EILEEN are at the table which serves as a bar. Two men and a woman of indeterminate age sit holding drinks. HORNE and BARROW, two young clerks, stand by the door. MR. RYAN, the old man, sits in the centre of the room, smiling.
JOYCE: You enjoying the party, Mr. Ryan?
RYAN nods and smiles.
EILEEN [pleasantly]: Enjoying the party, are you?
He nods, winks and smiles.
KING: I recommend a bicycle, honestly. It really keeps you up to the mark. Out in the morning, on the bike, through the town… the air in your lungs, muscles working… you arrive at work… you arrive at work fresh… you know what I mean? Uplifted.
GIDNEY: Not so good in the rain.
KING: Refreshes you! Clears the cobwebs. [He laughs.]
SEELEY: You don't walk to work, do you, Gidney?
GIDNEY: Me? I've got the car.
KING: I drive too, of course, but I often think seriously of taking up cycling again. I often think very seriously about it, you know.
JOYCE [to RYAN]: Nice party, isn't it, Mr. Ryan?
RYAN nods and inclines his head, smiling.
KEDGE [dancing]: You dance like a dream, Betty, you know that?
BETTY [shyly]: I don't.
KEDGE: You do. Honest. Like a dream. Like a dream come true.
BETTY: You're just saying that.
KING: Well, Kedge looks all right again, doesn't he? What was the matter with him? I've forgotten.
SEELEY: Stomach trouble.
KING: Not enough exercise. [To KEDGE.] You'll have to see you get more exercise, Kedge!
KEDGE [passing]: You never said a truer word, Mr. King.
SEELEY: Well, he don't look in bad trim to me, Mr. King.
They laugh.
KING: I must admit it.
GIDNEY: He'll never get to the last lap with that one, I can tell you.
KING [smiling]: Now, now, you young men, that's quite enough of that. No more of that.
GIDNEY [pleasantly]: What are you laughing at, Stokes?
ALBERT: What?
GIDNEY: Sorry. I thought you were laughing.
ALBERT: I was laughing. You made a joke.
GIDNEY: Oh yes, of course. Sorry.
[Pause.]
Well, we've got Kedge back at left back next Saturday.
KING: Yes. Excuse me.
SEELEY: That's a lovely pair of shoes you're wearing, Gidney.
GIDNEY: Do you think so?
SEELEY: Oh, they're the best, the very best, aren't they, Albert? Gidney always wears a nice pair of shoes, doesn't he, you noticed that? That's one thing I'll say about you, Gidney-you carry your feet well.
EILEEN: A mambo! Who's going to dance?
SEELEY: I'll give it a trot.
SEELEY and EILEEN dance.
GIDNEY: Don't you dance, Stokes?
ALBERT: Yes, sometimes.
GIDNEY: Do you? You will excuse me, won't you?
ALBERT: Yes.
ALBERT is left standing.
KING: Well, Ryan, enjoying the party?
RYAN nods, smiles.
Nice to see a lot of young people enjoying themselves, eh?
RYAN nods, smiles.
Of course, it's all in your honour, old man. Let's fill you up. I'll be the oldest man in the office after you've gone.
GIDNEY and JOYCE, whispering.
JOYCE: No. Why should I?
GIDNEY: Go on. Just for a lark.
JOYCE: What for?
GIDNEY: For a lark. Just for a lark.
JOYCE: You've got an evil mind, you have.
GIDNEY: No, it'll amuse me, that's all. I feel like being amused.
JOYCE: Well, I'm not going to.
GIDNEY: Gah, you wouldn't know how to, anyway.
JOYCE: Oh, wouldn't I?
GIDNEY [taking her arm]: Get hold of Eileen, don't tell her I told you though, and go over and lead him a dance, just lead him a dance, that's all, see what he does. I want to see his reaction, that's all, I just want to see how he takes it.
JOYCE: What, in front of everyone else, in front of-?
GIDNEY: Just talk to him, talk to him. I don't mean anything else, do I?
JOYCE: What do I get if I do?
GIDNEY: A toffee apple.
JOYCE: Oh, really? Thank you.
GIDNEY: I'll take you for a ride in the car. Honest.
SEELEY [dancing]: Hullo, Mr. Ryan. Enjoying the party?
EILEEN: You dance well, don't you?
SEELEY: I was going in for ballet once.
EILEEN: Go on!
SEELEY: Yes, true. They offered me the leading part in Rigoletto. When I was a boy soprano.
EILEEN: You're making it up.
GIDNEY [to JOYCE]: No, he just irritates me, that bloke. I… I haven't got any time for a bloke like that.
JOYCE: He's just quiet, that's all.
GIDNEY: Well, see if you can wake him up.
KING [to BETTY]: Well, Miss Todd, it hasn't taken you long to get to know everyone, has it?
BETTY: Oh no, Mr. King.
KEDGE: I've taken her under my wing, Mr. King.
KING: So I noticed.
KEDGE: Yes, I've been teaching her all about mortality tables. I told her in case of fire or burglary commission and damages come to her.
KING: I would hardly take Kedge's word as gospel, Miss Todd.
KEDGE: You know I've got the best interests of the firm at heart, Mr. King.
GIDNEY [drinking, with JOYCE]: Anyway, I'm thinking of moving on. You stay too long in a place you go daft. After all, with my qualifications I could go anywhere.
He sees ALBERT at the bar.
Couldn't I, Stokes?
ALBERT: What?
GIDNEY: I was saying, with my qualifications I could go anywhere. I could go anywhere and be anything.
ALBERT: So could I.
GIDNEY: Could you? What qualifications have you got?
ALBERT: Well, I've got a few, you know.
GIDNEY: Listen! Do you know that Chelsea wanted to sign me up a few years ago? They had a scout down to one of our games. They wanted to sign me up. And I'll tell you another thing as well. I could turn professional cricketer any day I wanted to, if I wanted to.
ALBERT: Then why don't you?
GIDNEY: I don't want to.
JOYCE: You'd look lovely in white.
GIDNEY: These people who talk about qualifications. Just makes me laugh, that's all.
KEDGE [in the corner of the room, in an armchair with BETTY]: Oh, you're lovely. You're the loveliest thing on four wheels.
KING [to HORNE and BARROW, by the door]: Well, I hope you'll both be in the team soon yourselves. I think it's a very good thing we've… that the firm's got a football team. And a cricket team, of course. It shows we look on the lighter side of things too. Don't you agree?
HORNE: Oh yes, Mr. King.
BARROW: Yes, Mr. King.
KING: Also gives a sense of belonging. Work together and play together. Office work can become so impersonal. We like to foster… to foster something… very different. You know what I mean?
HORNE: Oh yes, Mr. King.
BARROW: Yes, Mr. King.
KING: You interested in sailing, by any chance? You're quite welcome to come down to my boat at Poole any weekend-do a bit of sailing along the coast.
HORNE: Oh, thank you, Mr. King.
BARROW: Thank you, Mr. King.
JOYCE and EILEEN, whispering.
JOYCE [slyly]: Eh, what about going over and cheering up old Albert?
EILEEN: What for?
JOYCE: Well, he looks a bit gloomy, don't he?
EILEEN: I don't want to go over. You go over.
JOYCE: No, come on. You come over.
EILEEN: What for?
JOYCE: Cheer him up. For a bit of fun.
EILEEN: Oh, you're awful.
JOYCE: Come on. Come over.
KING [to RYAN]: Can I fill your glass, Ryan?
[RYAN nods, and smiles.]
Can't leave you without a drink, can we? The guest of honour.
JOYCE and EILEEN sit either side of ALBERT on a divan.
JOYCE: Mind if we join you?
ALBERT: Oh, hullo.
EILEEN: Enjoying the party?
JOYCE: What are you sitting all gloomy about?
ALBERT: I'm not gloomy, I'm just sitting, drinking. Feel a bit tired, actually.
JOYCE: Why, what have you been doing?
ALBERT: Nothing.
JOYCE: You just said you were tired. Eh, move up, I'm on the edge.
ALBERT: Sorry.
EILEEN: Eh, mind out, you're squashing me.
ALBERT: Oh…
JOYCE: You squash her, she won't mind.
EILEEN [laughing]: Oh, Joyce!
GIDNEY, with a smile, watching.
JOYCE: Come on, tell us, what are you tired about?
ALBERT: Oh, just work, I suppose.
JOYCE: I've been working too. I'm not tired. I love work. Don't you, Eileen? [She leans across him to speak.]
EILEEN: Oh yes, I love work.
ALBERT: No, I'm not tired, really. I'm all right.
EILEEN: He looks tired.
JOYCE: You've been living it up. Women.
EILEEN: I'll bet.
JOYCE: Females.
The girls giggle.
ALBERT [with an uncertain smile]: No, I wouldn't…
EILEEN: Eh, mind your drink. My best taffeta.
JOYCE: He's not bad looking when you get close.
EILEEN: Quite nice when you get close.
ALBERT: Thanks for the compliment.
EILEEN: You got a flat of your own?
ALBERT: No. Have you?
EILEEN [forlornly]: No.
JOYCE: You live with your mother, don't you?
ALBERT: Yes.
JOYCE: Does she look after you all right, then?
ALBERT: Yes, she… [He stands.] I'm just going to the bar.
JOYCE: So are we.
EILEEN: Me too.
They follow.
KING: Well, now everyone…
JOYCE: I'm having gin.
ALBERT: Gin? Wait a minute…
KING: Just a minute, everyone, can I have your attention?
GIDNEY [to JOYCE]: Didn't make much impression, did you?
JOYCE: Didn't I?
KING: Just for a moment, please…
GIDNEY: Eh, Stokes, pay attention, will you?
ALBERT: What?
GIDNEY: Mr. King wants your attention.
KING: I'd just like to propose a toast to our guest of honour, Mr. Ryan. Gidney!
GIDNEY: Yes?
ALBERT: Here's your gin, then.
JOYCE: Thanks.
KING [to GIDNEY]: Go and get Kedge out of that corner, will you? Now, as you know, we're all gathered here tonight to pay our respects to our old friend and colleague, Mr. Ryan…
KEDGE and BETTY are locked together in the armchair. GIDNEY taps KEDGE on the shoulder.
GIDNEY: Mr. King wants to know if you'll honour the party with your presence.
KEDGE [jumping up]: Oh, sorry, [BETTY, thrown off, falls. He picks her up.] Sorry.
KING: We've all known Mr. Ryan for a very long time. Of course, I've known him myself much longer than anyone here-
KEDGE: For he's a jolly good fellow-
KING: Wait! Very glad for your enthusiasm, Mr. Kedge. Your heart, I am quite sure, is in the right place.
General laughter.
ALBERT, EILEEN, JOYCE, SEELEY and GIDNEY stand in a group around MR. RYAN'S chair.
But please allow me to toast Mr. Ryan first and then the floor is yours. Well, as I was saying, the whole department is here tonight to pay tribute to a man who from time immemorial has become, how shall I put it, the very core of our little community. I remember Mr. Ryan sitting at his very own desk the first time my father brought me into the office-
A sharp scream and stiffening from EILEEN. All turn to her.
Good heavens!
GIDNEY: What is it?
AD LIB: What's happened? Eileen, what's the matter?
EILEEN: Someone touched me!
JOYCE: Touched you?
EILEEN: Someone touched me! Someone-!
BETTY: What did he do?
KEDGE: Touched you? What did he do?
JOYCE: What did he do, Eileen?
EILEEN: He… he… he took a liberty!
KEDGE: Go on! Who did?
EILEEN turns and stares at ALBERT. Silence. All stare at ALBERT.
ALBERT: What are you looking at me for?
GIDNEY [muttering]: Good God…
Tense, embarrassed pause.
HORNE [at the door, whispering]: What did he do, touch her?
BARROW [open-mouthed]: Yes.
HORNE [wide-eyed]: Where?
They look at each other, open-mouthed and wide-eyed.
ALBERT: What are you looking at me for?
KING: Please, now… can we possibly… I mean…
EILEEN [in a voice of reproach, indignation and horror]: Albert!
ALBERT: What do you mean?
SEELEY: How does she know it was Albert?
KEDGE: Wonder what he did. Made her jump didn't he?
ALBERT: Now look, wait a minute, this is absolutely ridiculous-
GIDNEY: Ridiculous, eh? I'll say it is. What do you think you're up to?
EILEEN: Yes, I was just standing there, suddenly this hand…
JOYCE: I could tell he was that sort.
The camera closes on MR. RYAN'S hand, resting comfortably on his knee, and then to his face which, smiling vaguely, is inclined to the ceiling. It must be quite clear from the expression that it was his hand which strayed.
GIDNEY: Come out here, Albert.
ALBERT: Don't pull me. What are you doing?
SEELEY: How do you know it was him?
ALBERT [throwing off GIDNEY's hand]: Let go of me!
SEELEY: What are you pulling him for?
GIDNEY: You keep out of this.
KING [nervously]: Now please let me continue my toast, ladies and gentlemen. Really, you must settle this elsewhere.
SEELEY: We don't even know what he's supposed to have done.
ALBERT: I didn't do anything.
GIDNEY: We can guess what he did.
KING [at speed]: We are all collected here tonight in honour of Mr. Ryan and to present him with a token of our affection-
JOYCE [to ALBERT]: You snake!
SEELEY: Well, what did he do? What's he supposed to have done?
ALBERT: She doesn't know what she's talking about.
SEELEY: Come on, what's he supposed to have done, Eileen, anyway?
EILEEN: Mind you own business.
JOYCE: You don't think she's going to tell you, do you?
GIDNEY: Look, Seeley, why don't you shut up?
SEELEY: Now don't talk to me like that, Gidney.
ALBERT: Don't worry about him, Seeley.
KING: As I have been trying to say-
JOYCE: You come over here, Eileen, sit down. She's upset, aren't you?
EILEEN [to SEELEY]: So would you be!
KING: Miss Phipps, would you mind composing yourself?
EILEEN: Composing myself!
GIDNEY: Come outside a minute, Albert.
KING: As I have been trying to say-
KEDGE [brightly]: I'm listening, Mr. King!
KING: What?
KEDGE: I'm listening. I'm with you.
KING: Oh, thank you. Thank you, my boy.
ALBERT: I'm going, anyway.
ALBERT goes into the hall, followed by GIDNEY and SEELEY. The door shuts behind them.
GIDNEY: Wait a minute, Stokes.
ALBERT: What do you want?
GIDNEY: I haven't been satisfied with your… sort of… behaviour for some time, you know that, don't you?
ALBERT: You haven't… you haven't what?
GIDNEY: For instance, there was that bloody awful game of football you played when you threw the game away last Saturday that I've got on my mind, besides one or two other things!
SEELEY: Eh look, Gidney, you're talking like a prize-
GIDNEY [viciously]: I've told you to keep out of this.
ALBERT [tensely]: I'm going, anyway.
GIDNEY: Wait a minute, let's have it out. What do you think you're up to?
ALBERT: Look, I've told you-
GIDNEY: What did you think you were doing with that girl?
ALBERT: I didn't touch her.
GIDNEY: I'm responsible for that girl. She's a good friend of mine. I know her uncle.
ALBERT: Do you?
SEELEY: You know, you're being so stupid, Gidney-
GIDNEY: Seeley, I can take you any day, you know that, don't you?
SEELEY: Go on!
GIDNEY: Any day.
SEELEY: You can take me any day?
GIDNEY: Any day.
SEELEY: Well, go on, then. Go on… if you can take me…
ALBERT: Seeley-
SEELEY: No, if he says he can take me, if he can take me any day…
The door opens slightly. HORNE and BARROW peer out.
ALBERT: Gidney, why don't you… why don't you get back to the party?
GIDNEY: I was telling you, Albert-
ALBERT: Stokes.
GIDNEY: I was telling you, Albert, that if you're going to behave like a boy of ten in mixed company-
ALBERT: I told you my name's Stokes!
GIDNEY: Don't be childish, Albert.
A sudden silence, MR. KING'S voice from the room.
KING:… and for his unfailing good humour and cheeriness, Mr. Ryan will always be remembered at Hislop, King and Martindale!
Scattered applause. HORNE, caught by their stares, shuts the door hastily.
ALBERT [going to the door.]: Goodnight.
GIDNEY [obstructing him]: Go back and apologize.
ALBERT: What for?
GIDNEY: For insulting a lady. Mate. A lady. Something to do with breeding. But I suppose you're too bloody backward to know anything about that.
ALBERT: You're talking right out of your hat.
SEELEY: Right out of the bowler.
GIDNEY [to SEELEY]: No one invited you out here, did they?
SEELEY: Who invited you?
GIDNEY: I'm talking to this man on behalf of the firm! Unless I get a satisfactory explanation I shall think seriously about recommending his dismissal.
ALBERT: Get out of my way, will you?
GIDNEY: Acting like an animal all over the place-
ALBERT: Move out of it!
GIDNEY [breathlessly]: I know your trouble.
ALBERT: Oh, yes?
GIDNEY: Yes, sticks out a mile.
ALBERT: Does it?
GIDNEY: Yes.
ALBERT: What's my trouble then?
GIDNEY [very deliberately]: You're a mother's boy. That's what you are. That's your trouble. You're a mother's boy.
ALBERT hits him. There is a scuffle. SEELEY tries to part them. The three rock back and forth in the hall: confused blows, words and grunts.
The door of the room opens. Faces. MR. KING comes out.
KING: What in heaven's name is going on here!
The scuffle stops. A short silence. ALBERT opens the front door, goes out and slams it behind him. He stands on the doorstep, breathing heavily, his, face set.
SCENE TWO
The kitchen.
MRS. STOKES is asleep, her head resting on the table, the cards disordered. The clock ticks. It is twelve o'clock. The front door opens slowly. ALBERT comes in, closes the door softly, stops, looks across to the open kitchen door, sees his mother, and begins to creep up the stairs with great stealth. The camera follows him. Her voice stops him.
MOTHER: Albert!
He stops.
Albert! Is that you?
She goes to the kitchen door.
What are you creeping up the stairs for? Might have been a burglar. What would I have done then?
He descends slowly.
Creeping up the stairs like that. Give anyone a fright. Creeping up the stairs like that. You leave me in the house all alone… [She stops and regards him.] Look at you! Look at your suit. What's the matter with your tie, it's all crumpled, I pressed it for you this morning. Well, I won't even ask any questions. That's all. You look a disgrace.
He walks past her into the kitchen, goes to the sink and pours himself a glass of water. She follows him.
What have you been doing, mucking about with girls?
She begins to pile the cards.
Mucking about with girls, I suppose. Do you know what the time is? I fell asleep, right here at this table, waiting for you. I don't know what your father would say. Coming in this time of night. It's after twelve o'clock. In a state like that. Drunk, I suppose. I suppose your dinner's ruined. Well, if you want to make a convenience out of your own home, that's your business. I'm only your mother, I don't suppose that counts for much these days. I'm not saying any more. If you want to go mucking about with girls, that's your business.
She takes his dinner out of the oven.
Well, anyway, you'll have your dinner. You haven't eaten a single thing all night.
She places a plate on the table and gets knife and fork. He stands by the sink, sipping water.
I wouldn't mind if you found a really nice girl and brought her home and introduced her to your mother, brought her home for dinner, I'd know you were sincere, if she was a really nice girl, she'd be like a daughter to me. But you've never brought a girl home here in your life. I suppose you're ashamed of your mother.
[Pause.]
Come on, it's all dried up. I kept it on a low light. I couldn't even go up to Grandma's room and have a look round because there wasn't any bulb, you might as well eat it.
He stands.
What's the matter, are you drunk? Where did you go, to one of those pubs in the West End? You'll get into serious trouble, my boy, if you frequent those places, I'm warning you. Don't you read the papers?
[Pause.]
I hope you're satisfied, anyway. The house in darkness, I wasn't going to break my neck going down to that cellar to look for a bulb, you come home looking like I don't know what, anyone would think you gave me a fortune out of your wages. Yes. I don't say anything, do I? I keep quiet about what you expect me to manage on. I never grumble. I keep a lovely home, I bet there's none of the boys in your firm better fed than you are. I'm not asking for gratitude. But one things hurts me, Albert, and I'll tell you what it is. Not for years, not for years, have you come up to me and said, Mum, I love you, like you did when you were a little boy. You've never said it without me having to ask you. Not since before your father died. And he was a good man. He had high hopes of you. I've never told you, Albert, about the high hopes he had of you. I don't know what you do with all your money. But don't forget what it cost us to rear you, my boy, I've never told you about the sacrifices we made, you wouldn't care, anyway. Telling me lies about going to the firm's party. They've got a bit of respect at that firm, that's why we sent you there, to start off your career, they wouldn't let you carry on like that at one of their functions. Mr. King would have his eye on you. I don't know where you've been. Well, if you don't want to lead a clean life it's your lookout, if you want to go mucking about with all sorts of bits of girls, if you're content to leave your own mother sitting here till midnight, and I wasn't feeling well, anyway, I didn't tell you because I didn't want to upset you, I keep things from you, you're the only one I've got, but what do you care, you don't care, you don't care, the least you can do is sit down and eat the dinner I cooked for you, specially for you, it's Shepherd's Pie-
ALBERT lunges to the table, picks up the clock and violently raises it above his head. A stifled scream from the MOTHER.
Act Three
SCENE ONE
The coffee stall, shuttered.
ALBERT is leaning against it. He is sweating. He is holding the butt of a cigarette. There is a sound of a foot on gravel. He starts, the butt burns his hand, he drops it and turns. A GIRL is looking at him. She smiles.
GIRL: Good evening.
[Pause.]
What are you doing?
[Pause.]
What are you doing out at this time of night?
She moves closer to him.
I live just round the corner.
He stares at her.
Like to? Chilly out here, isn't it? Come on.
[Pause.]
Come on.
He goes with her.
SCENE TWO
The GIRL'S room. The door opens. She comes in. Her manner has changed from the seductive. She is brisk and nervous.
GIRL: Come in. Don't slam the door. Shut it gently. I'll light the fire. Chilly out, don't you find? Have you got a match?
He walks across the room.
GIRL: Please don't walk so heavily. Please. There's no need to let… to let the whole house know you're here. Life's difficult enough as it is. Have you got a match?
ALBERT: No, I… I don't think I have.
GIRL: Oh, God, you'd think you'd have a match.
He walks about.
I say, would you mind taking your shoes off? You're really making a dreadful row. Really, I can't bear… noisy… people.
He looks at his shoes, begins to untie one. The GIRL searches for matches on the mantelpiece, upon which are a number of articles and objects, including a large alarm clock.
I know I had one somewhere.
ALBERT: I've got a lighter.
GIRL: You can't light a gasfire with a lighter. You'd burn your fingers.
She bends down to the hearth.
Where are the damn things? This is ridiculous. I die without the fire. I simply die. [She finds the box.] Ah, here we are. At last.
She turns on the gas fire and lights it. He watches her. She puts the matchbox on the mantelpiece and picks up a photo.
Do you like this photo? It's of my little girl. She's staying with friends. Rather fine, isn't she? Very aristocratic features, don't you think? She's at a very select boarding school at the moment, actually. In… Hereford, very near Hereford. [She puts the photo back.] I shall be going down for the prize day shortly. You do look idiotic standing there with one shoe on and one shoe off. All lop-sided.
ALBERT pulls at the lace of his other shoe. The lace breaks. He swears shortly under his breath.
GIRL [sharply]: Do you mind not saying words like that?
ALBERT: I didn't…
GIRL: I heard you curse.
ALBERT: My lace broke.
GIRL: That's no excuse.
ALBERT: What did I say?
GIRL: I'm sorry, I can't bear that sort of thing. It's just… not in my personality.
ALBERT: I'm sorry.
GIRL: It's quite all right. It's just… something in my nature. I've got to think of my daughter, too, you know.
She crouches by the fire.
Come near the fire a minute. Sit down.
He goes towards a small stool.
Not on that! That's my seat. It's my own stool. I did the needlework myself. A long time ago.
He sits in a chair, opposite.
Which do you prefer, electric or gas? For a fire, I mean?
ALBERT [holding his forehead, muttering]: I don't know.
GIRL: There's no need to be rude, it was a civil question. I prefer gas. Or a log fire, of course. They have them in Switzerland.
[Pause.]
Have you got a headache?
ALBERT: No.
GIRL: I didn't realize you had a lighter. You don't happen to have any cigarettes on you, I suppose?
ALBERT: No.
GIRL: I'm very fond of a smoke. After dinner. With a glass of wine. Or before dinner, with sherry.
She stands and taps the mantelpiece, her eyes roaming over it.
You look as if you've had a night out. Where have you been? Had a nice time?
ALBERT: Quite… quite nice.
GIRL [sitting on the stool]: What do you do?
ALBERT: I… work in films.
GIRL: Films? Really? What do you do?
ALBERT: I'm an assistant director.
GIRL: Really? How funny. I used to be a continuity girl. But I gave it up.
ALBERT [tonelessly]: What a pity.
GIRL: Yes, I'm beginning to think you're right. You meet such a good class of people. Of course, now you say you're an assistant director I can see what you mean. I mean, I could tell you had breeding the moment I saw you. You looked a bit washed out, perhaps, but there was no mistaking the fact that you had breeding. I'm extremely particular, you see. I do like a certain amount of delicacy in men… a certain amount… a certain degree… a certain amount of refinement. You do see my point? Some men I couldn't possibly entertain. Not even if I was… starving. I don't want to be personal, but that word you used, when you broke your lace, it made me shiver, I'm just not that type, made me wonder if you were as well bred as I thought…
He wipes his face with his hand.
You do look hot. Why are you so hot? It's chilly. Yes, you remind me… I saw the most ghastly horrible fight before, there was a man, one man, he was sweating… sweating. You haven't been in a fight, by any chance? I don't know how men can be so bestial. It's hardly much fun for women, I can tell you. I don't want someone else's blood on my carpet.
ALBERT chuckles.
What are you laughing at?
ALBERT: Nothing.
GIRL: It's not in the least funny.
ALBERT looks up at the mantelpiece. His gaze rests there.
What are you looking at?
ALBERT [ruminatively]: That's a nice big clock.
It is twenty past two.
GIRL [with fatigue]: Yes, it's late, I suppose we might as well… Haven't you got a cigarette?
ALBERT: No.
GIRL [jumping up]: I'm sure I have, somewhere. [She goes to the table.] Yes, here we are, I knew I had. I have to hide them. The woman who comes in to do my room, she's very light-fingered. I don't know why she comes in at all. Nobody wants her, all she does is spy on me, but I'm obliged to put up with her, this room is serviced. Which means I have to pay a pretty penny.
She lights her cigarette.
It's a dreadful area, too. I'm thinking of moving. The neighbourhood is full of people of no class at all. I just don't fit in.
ALBERT: Is that clock right?
GIRL: People have told me, the most distinguished people, that I could go anywhere. You could go anywhere, they've told me, you could be anything. I'm quite well educated, you know. My father was a… he was a military man. In the Army. Actually it was a relief to speak to you. I haven't… spoken to anyone for some hours.
ALBERT suddenly coughs violently.
Oh, please don't do that! Use your handkerchief!
He sighs, and groans.
What on earth's the matter with you? What have you been doing tonight?
He looks at her and smiles.
ALBERT: Nothing.
GIRL: Really?
She belches.
Oh, excuse me. I haven't eaten all day. I had a tooth out. Hiccoughs come from not eating, don't they? Do you… do you want one of these?
She throws him a cigarette, which he slowly lights.
I mean, I'm no different from any other girl. In fact, I'm better. These so-called respectable girls, for instance, I'm sure they're much worse than I am. Well, you're an assistant director-all your continuity girls and secretaries, I'll bet they're… very loose.
ALBERT: Uh,
GIRL: Do you know what I've actually heard? I've heard that respectable married women, solicitors' wives, go out and pick men up when their husbands are out on business! Isn't that fantastic? I mean, they're supposed to be… they're supposed to be respectable!
ALBERT [muttering]: Fantastic.
GIRL: I beg your pardon?
ALBERT: I said it was fantastic.
GIRL: It is. You're right. Quite fantastic. Here's one thing, though. There's one thing that's always fascinated me. How far do men's girl friends go? I've often wondered.
[Pause.]
Eh?
ALBERT: Depends.
GIRL: Yes, I suppose it must.
[Pause.]
You mean on the girl?
ALBERT: What?
GIRL: You mean it depends on the girl?
ALBERT: It would do, yes.
GIRL: Quite possibly. I must admit that with your continuity girls and secretaries, I don't see why you… had to approach me…. Have you been on the town tonight, then? With a continuity girl?
ALBERT: You're a bit… worried about continuity girls, aren't you?
GIRL: Only because I've been one myself. I know what they're like. No better than they should be.
ALBERT: When were you a…?
GIRL: Years ago! [Standing.] You're nosey, aren't you?
She goes to the window.
Sometimes I wish the night would never end. I like sleeping. I could sleep… on and on.
ALBERT stands and picks up the clock.
Yes, you can see the station from here. All the trains go out, right through the night.
He stares at the clock.
I suppose we might as well… [She turns and sees him.] What are you doing? [She crosses to him.] What are you doing with that clock?
He looks at her, slowly.
Mmnn?
ALBERT: Admiring it.
GIRL: It's a perfectly ordinary clock. Give me it. I've seen too many people slip things into their pockets before now, as soon as your back's turned. Nothing personal, of course. [She puts it back.] Mind your ash! Don't spill it all over the floor! I have to keep this carpet immaculate. Otherwise the charlady, she's always looking for excuses for telling tales. Here. Here's an ashtray. Use it, please.
She gives it to him. He stares at her.
Sit down. Sit down. Don't stand about like that. What are you staring at me for?
He sits. She studies him.
Where's your wife?
ALBERT: Nowhere.
She stubs her cigarette.
GIRL: And what film are you making at the moment?
ALBERT: I'm on holiday.
GIRL: Where do you work?
ALBERT: I'm a free lance.
GIRL: You're… rather young to be in such a… high position, aren't you?
ALBERT: Oh?
GIRL [laughs]: You amuse me. You interest me. I'm a bit of a psychologist, you know. You're very young to be-what you said you were. There's something childish in your face, almost retarded. [She laughs.] I do like that word. I'm not being personal, of course… just being… psychological. Of course, I can see you're one for the girls. Don't know why you had to pick on me, at this time of night, really rather forward of you. I'm a respectable mother, you know, with a child at boarding school. You couldn't call me… anything else. All I do, I just entertain a few gentlemen, of my own choice, now and again. What girl doesn't?
His hand screws the cigarette. He lets it fall on the carpet.
[Outraged.] What do you think you're doing?
She stares at him.
Pick it up! Pick that up, I tell you! It's my carpet!
She lunges towards it.
It's not my carpet, they'll make me pay-
His hand closes upon hers as she reaches for it.
What are you doing? Let go. Treating my place like a pigsty. [She looks up at him as he bends over her.] Let me go. You're burning my carpet!
ALBERT [quietly, intensely]: Sit down.
GIRL: How dare you?
ALBERT: Shut up. Sit down.
GIRL [struggling]: What are you doing?
ALBERT [erratically, trembling, but with quiet command]: Don't scream. I'm warning you.
He lifts her by her wrist and presses her down on to the stool.
No screaming. I warn you.
GIRL: What's the-?
ALBERT [through his teeth]: Be quiet. I told you to be quiet. Now you be quiet.
GIRL: What are you going to do?
ALBERT [seizing the clock from the mantelpiece]: DON'T MUCK ME ABOUT!
She freezes with terror.
See this? One crack with this… just one crack… [Viciously.] Who do you think you are? You talk too much, you know that. You never stop talking. Just because you're a woman you think you can get away with it. [Bending over her.] You've made a mistake, this time. You've picked the wrong man.
He begins to grow in stature and excitement, passing the clock from hand to hand.
You're all the same, you see, you're all the same, you're just a dead weight round my neck. What makes you think… [He begins to move about the room, at one point half crouching, at another standing upright, as if exercising his body.]… What makes you think you can… tell me… yes… It's the same as this business about the light in Grandma's room. Always something. Always something. [To her.] My ash? I'll put it where I like! You see this clock? Watch your step. Just watch your step.
GIRL: Stop this. What are you-?
ALBERT [seizing her wrist, with trembling, controlled violence]: Watch your step! [Stammering.] I've had-I've had-I've had-just about enough. Get it?… You know what I did?
He looks at her and chuckles.
Don't be so frightened.
GIRL: I…
ALBERT [casually]: Don't be so frightened.
He squats by her, still holding the clock.
I'm just telling you. I'm just telling you, that's all. [Breathlessly.] You haven't got any breeding. She hadn't either. And what about those girls tonight? Same kind. And that one. I didn't touch her!
GIRL [almost inaudible]: What you been doing?
ALBERT: I've got as many qualifications as the next man. Let's get that quite… straight. And I got the answer to her. I got the answer to her, you see, tonight…. I finished the conversation… I finished it… I finished her…
She squirms. He raises the clock.
With this clock! [Trembling.] One… crack… with… this… clock… finished! [Thoughtfully.] Of course, I loved her, really. [He suddenly sees the photograph on the mantelpiece, puts the clock down and takes it. The GIRL half rises and gasps, watching him. He looks at the photo curiously.] Uhhh?… Your daughter?… This a photo of your daughter?… Uuuh? [He breaks the frame and takes out the photo.]
GIRL [rushes at him]. Leave that!
ALBERT [dropping the frame and holding the photo]: Is it?
The GIRL grabs at it. ALBERT clutches her wrist. He holds her at arm's length.
GIRL: Leave that! [Writhing.] What? Don't-it's mine!
ALBERT [turns the photo over and reads back]: 'Class Three Classical, Third Prize, Bronze Medal, Twickenham Competition, nineteen thirty-three.' [He stares at her. The GIRL stands, shivering and whimpering.] You liar. That's you.
GIRL: It's not!
ALBERT: That's not your daughter. It's you! You're just a fake, you're just all lies!
GIRL: Scum! Filthy scum!
ALBERT, twisting her wrist, moves suddenly to her. The GIRL cringing, falls back into her chair.
ALBERT [warningly]: Mind how you talk to me. [He crumples the photo.]
GIRL [moans]: My daughter. My little girl. My little baby girl.
ALBERT: Get up.
GIRL: No…
ALBERT: Get up! Up!
She stands.
Walk over there, to the wall. Go on! Get over there. Do as you're told. Do as I'm telling you. I'm giving the orders here.
She walks to the wall.
Stop!
GIRL [whimpering]: What… do you want me to do?
ALBERT: Just keep your big mouth closed, for a start.
He frowns uncertainly.
Cover your face!
She does so. He looks about, blinking.
Yes. That's right. [He sees his shoes.] Come on, come on, pick up those shoes. Those shoes! Pick them up!
She looks for the shoes and picks them up.
That's right. [He sits.] Bring them over here. Come on. That's right. Put them on.
He extends his foot.
GIRL: You're…
ALBERT: On! Right on. That's it. That's it. That's more like it. That's… more like it! Good. Lace them! Good.
He stands. She crouches.
Silence.
He shivers and murmurs with the cold. He looks about the room.
ALBERT: It's cold.
[Pause.]
Ooh, it's freezing.
GIRL [whispering]: The fire's gone.
ALBERT [looking at the window]: What's that? Looks like light. Ooh, it's perishing. [Looks about, muttering.] What a dump. Not staying here. Getting out of this place.
He shivers and drops the clock. He looks down at it. She too. He kicks it across the room.
[With a smile, softly.] So you… bear that in mind. Mind how you talk to me.
He goes to door, then turns.
[Flipping half a crown to her.] Buy yourself a seat… buy yourself a seat at a circus.
He opens the door and goes.
SCENE THREE
The house.
The front door opens, ALBERT comes in, a slight smile on his face. He saunters across the hall into the kitchen, takes off his jacket and throws it across the room. The same with his tie. He sits heavily, loosely, in a chair, his legs stretched out. Stretching his arms, he yawns luxuriously, scratches his head with both hands and stares ruminatively at the ceiling, a smile on his face. His mother's voice calls his name.
MOTHER [from the stairs]: Albert!
His body freezes. His gaze comes down. His legs slowly come together. He looks in front of him.
His MOTHER comes into the room, in her dressing gown. She stands, looking at him.
Do you know what the time is?
[Pause.]
Where have you been?
[Pause.]
[Reproachfully, near to tears.] I don't know what to say to you, Albert. To raise your hand to your own mother. You've never done that before in your life. To threaten your own mother.
[Pause.]
That clock would have hurt me, Albert. And you'd have been… I know you'd have been very sorry. Aren't I a good mother to you? Everything I do is… is for your own good. You should know that. You're all I've got.
She looks at his slumped figure. Her reproach turns to solicitude.
[Gently.] Look at you. You look washed out. Oh, you look… I don't understand what could have come over you.
She takes a chair and sits close to him.
Listen, Albert, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to forget it. You see? I'm going to forget all about it. We'll have your holiday in a fortnight. We can go away.
She strokes his hand.
We'll go away… together.
[Pause.]
It's not as if you're a bad boy… you're a good boy… I know you are… it's not as if you're really bad, Albert, you're not… you're not bad, you're good… you're not a bad boy, Albert, I know you're not…
[Pause.]
You're good, you're not bad, you're a good boy… I know you are… you are, aren't you?
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