CONTROLLER Paul Rogers
DRIVER Martin Jarvis
Directed by Peter Hall
It was subsequently presented with A Kind of Alaska and One for the Road at the Duchess Theatre, London, on 7 March 1985 with the following cast:
CONTROLLER Colin Blakely
DRIVER Roger Davidson
Directed by Kenneth Ives
Lights up on office. CONTROLLER sitting at microphone.
CONTROLLER
274? Where are you?
Lights up on DRIVER in car.
CONTROLLER
274? Where are you?
Pause.
DRIVER
Hullo?
CONTROLLER
274?
DRIVER
Hullo?
CONTROLLER
Is that 274?
DRIVER
That's me.
CONTROLLER
Where are you?
DRIVER
What?
Pause.
CONTROLLER
I'm talking to 274? Right?
DRIVER
Yes. That's me. I'm 274. Who are you?
Pause.
CONTROLLER
Who am I?
DRIVER
Yes.
CONTROLLER
Who do you think I am? I'm your office.
DRIVER
Oh yes.
CONTROLLER
Where are you?
DRIVER
I'm cruising.
CONTROLLER
What do you mean?
Pause.
Listen son. I've got a job for you. If you're in the area I think you're in. Where are you?
DRIVER
I'm just cruising about.
CONTROLLER
Don't cruise. Stop cruising. Nobody's asking you to cruise about. What the fuck are you cruising about for?
Pause.
274?
DRIVER
Hullo. Yes. That's me.
CONTROLLER
I want you to go to Victoria Station. I want you to pick up a customer coming from Boulogne. That is what I want you to do. Do you follow me? Now the question I want to ask you is this. Where are you? And don't say you're just cruising about. Just tell me if you're anywhere near Victoria Station.
DRIVER
Victoria what?
Pause.
CONTROLLER
Station.
Pause.
Can you help me on this?
DRIVER
Sorry?
CONTROLLER
Can you help me on this? Can you come to my aid on this?
Pause.
You see, 274, I've got no one else in the area, you see. I've only got you in the area. I think. Do you follow me?
DRIVER
I follow you, yes.
CONTROLLER
And this is a good job, 274. He wants you to take him to Cuckfield.
DRIVER
Eh?
CONTROLLER
He wants you to take him to Cuckfield. You're meeting the 10.22 from Boulogne. The European Special. His name's MacRooney. He's a little bloke with a limp. I've known him for years. You pick him up under the clock. You'll know him by his hat. He'll have a hat on with a feather in it. He'll be carrying fishing tackle. 274?
DRIVER
Hullo?
CONTROLLER
Are you hearing me?
DRIVER
Yes.
Pause.
CONTROLLER
What are you doing?
DRIVER
I'm not doing anything.
CONTROLLER
How's your motor? Is your motor working?
DRIVER
Oh yes.
CONTROLLER
Your ignition's not on the blink?
DRIVER
No.
CONTROLLER
So you're sitting in a capable car?
DRIVER
I'm sitting in it, yes.
CONTROLLER
Are you in the driving seat?
Pause.
Do you understand what I mean?
Pause.
Do you have a driving wheel in front of you?
Pause.
Because I haven't, 274. I'm just talking into this machine, trying to make some sense out of our lives. That's my function. God gave me this job. He asked me to do this job, personally. I'm your local monk, 274. I'm a monk. You follow? I lead a restricted life. I haven't got a choke and a gear lever in front of me. I haven't got a cooling system and four wheels. I'm not sitting here with wing mirrors and a jack in the boot. And if I did have a jack in the boot I'd stick it right up your arse.
Pause.
Listen, 274. I've got every reason to believe that you're driving a Ford Cortina. I would very much like you to go to Victoria Station. In it. That means I don't want you to walk down there. I want you to drive down there. Right?
DRIVER
Everything you say is correct. This is a Ford Cortina.
CONTROLLER
Good. That's right. And you're sitting in it while we're having this conversation, aren't you?
DRIVER
That's right.
CONTROLLER
Where?
DRIVER
By the side of a park.
CONTROLLER
By the side of a park?
DRIVER
Yes.
CONTROLLER
What park?
DRIVER
A dark park.
CONTROLLER
Why is it dark?
Pause.
DRIVER
That's not an easy question.
Pause.
CONTROLLER
Isn't it?
DRIVER
No.
Pause.
CONTROLLER
You remember this customer I was talking to you about? The one who's coming in to Victoria Station? Well, he's very keen for you to take him down to Cuckfield. He's got an old aunt down there. I've got a funny feeling she's going to leave him all her plunder. He's going down to pay his respects. He'll be in a good mood. If you play your cards right you might come out in front. Get me?
Pause.
274?
DRIVER
Yes? I'm here.
CONTROLLER
Go to Victoria Station.
DRIVER
I don't know it.
CONTROLLER
You don't know it?
DRIVER
No. What is it?
Silence.
CONTROLLER
It's a station, 274.
Pause.
Haven't you heard of it?
DRIVER
No. Never. What kind of place is it?
Pause.
CONTROLLER
You've never heard of Victoria Station?
DRIVER
Never. No.
CONTROLLER
It's a famous station.
DRIVER
Well, I honestly don't know what I've been doing all these years.
CONTROLLER
What have you been doing all these years?
DRIVER
Well, I honestly don't know.
Pause.
CONTROLLER
All right 274. Report to the office in the morning. 135? Where are you? 135? Where are you?
DRIVER
Don't leave me.
CONTROLLER
What? Who's that?
DRIVER
It's me. 274. Please. Don't leave me.
CONTROLLER
135? Where are you?
DRIVER
Don't have anything to do with 135. He's not your man. He'll lead you into blind alleys by the dozen. They all will. Don't leave me. I'm your man. I'm the only one you can trust.
Pause.
CONTROLLER
Do I know you, 274? Have we met?
Pause.
Well, it'll be nice to meet you in the morning. I'm really looking forward to it. I'll be sitting here with my cat o'nine tails, son. And you know what I'm going to do with it? I'm going to tie you up bollock naked to a butcher's table and I'm going to flog you to death all the way to Crystal Palace.
DRIVER
That's where I am! I knew I knew the place.
Pause.
I'm sitting by a little dark park underneath Crystal Palace. I can see the Palace. It's silhouetted against the sky. It's a wonderful edifice, isn't it?
Pause.
My wife's in bed. Probably asleep. And I've got a little daughter.
CONTROLLER
Oh, you've got a little daughter?
Pause.
DRIVER
Yes, I think that's what she is.
CONTROLLER
Report to the office at 9 a.m. 135? Where are you? Where the fuck is 135? 246? 178? 101? Will somebody help me? Where's everyone gone? I've got a good job going down to Cuckfield. Can anyone hear me?
DRIVER
I can hear you.
CONTROLLER
Who's that?
DRIVER
274. Here. Waiting. What do you want me to do?
CONTROLLER
You want to know what I want you to do?
DRIVER
Oh by the way, there's something I forgot to tell you.
CONTROLLER
What is it?
DRIVER
I've got a P.O.B.
CONTROLLER
You've got a P.O.B.?
DRIVER
Yes. That means passenger on board.
CONTROLLER
I know what it means, 274. It means you've got a passenger on board.
DRIVER
That's right.
CONTROLLER
You've got a passenger on board sitting by the side of a park?
DRIVER
That's right.
CONTROLLER
Did I book this job?
DRIVER
No, I don't think you came into it.
CONTROLLER
Well, where does he want to go?
DRIVER
He doesn't want to go anywhere. We just cruised about for a bit and then we came to rest.
CONTROLLER
In Crystal Palace?
DRIVER
Not in the Palace.
CONTROLLER
Oh, you're not in the Palace?
DRIVER
No. I'm not right inside it.
CONTROLLER
I think you'll find the Crystal Palace burnt down years ago, old son. It burnt down in the Great Fire of London.
Pause.
DRIVER
Did it?
CONTROLLER
274?
DRIVER
Yes. I'm here.
CONTROLLER
Drop your passenger. Drop your passenger at his chosen destination and proceed to Victoria Station. Otherwise I'll destroy you bone by bone. I'll suck you in and blow you out in little bubbles. I'll chew your stomach out with my own teeth. I'll eat all the hair off your body. You'll end up looking like a pipe cleaner. Get me?
Pause.
274?
Pause.
You're beginning to obsess me. I think I'm going to die. I'm alone in this miserable freezing fucking office and nobody loves me. Listen, pukeface –
DRIVER
Yes?
Pause.
CONTROLLER
135? 135? Where are you?
DRIVER
Don't have anything to do with 135. They're all bloodsuckers. I'm the only one you can trust.
Pause.
CONTROLLER
You know what I've always dreamed of doing? I've always had this dream of having a holiday in sunny Barbados. I'm thinking of taking this holiday at the end of this year, 274. I'd like you to come with me. To Barbados. Just the two of us. I'll take you snorkelling. We can swim together in the blue Caribbean.
Pause.
In the meantime, though, why don't you just pop back to the office now and I'll make you a nice cup of tea? You can tell me something about your background, about your ambitions and aspirations. You can tell me all about your little hobbies and pastimes. Come over and have a nice cup of tea, 274.
DRIVER
I'd love to but I've got a passenger on board.
CONTROLLER
Put your passenger on to me. Let me have a word with him.
DRIVER
I can't. She's asleep on the back seat.
CONTROLLER
She?
DRIVER
Can I tell you a secret?
CONTROLLER
Please do.
DRIVER
I think I've fallen in love. For the first time in my life.
CONTROLLER
Who have you fallen in love with?
DRIVER
With this girl on the back seat. I think I'm going to keep her for the rest of my life. I'm going to stay in this car with her for the rest of my life. I'm going to marry her in this car. We'll die together in this car.
Pause.
CONTROLLER
So you've found true love at last, eh, 274?
DRIVER
Yes. I've found true love at last.
CONTROLLER
So you're a happy man now then, are you?
DRIVER
I'm very happy. I've never known such happiness.
CONTROLLER
Well, I'd like to be the first to congratulate you, 274. I'd like to extend my sincere felicitations to you.
DRIVER
Thank you very much.
CONTROLLER
Don't mention it. I'll have to make a note in my diary not to forget your Golden Wedding, won't I? I'll bring along some of the boys to drink your health. Yes, I'll bring along some of the boys. We'll all have a few jars and a bit of a sing-song.
Pause.
274?
Pause.
DRIVER
Hullo. Yes. It's me.
CONTROLLER
Listen. I've been thinking. I've decided that what I'd like to do now is to come down there and shake you by the hand straightaway. I'm going to shut this little office and I'm going to jump into my old car and I'm going to pop down to see you, to shake you by the hand. All right?
DRIVER
Fine. But what about this man coming off the train at Victoria Station – the 10.22 from Boulogne?
CONTROLLER
He can go and fuck himself.
DRIVER
I see.
CONTROLLER
No, I'd like to meet your lady friend, you see. And we can have a nice celebration. Can't we? So just stay where you are. Right?
Pause.
Right?
Pause.
274?
DRIVER
Yes?
CONTROLLER
Don't move. Stay exactly where you are. I'll be right with you.
DRIVER
No, I won't move.
Silence.
I'll be here.
Light out in office.
The DRIVER sits still.
Light out in car.
聚合中文网 阅读好时光 www.juhezwn.com
小提示:漏章、缺章、错字过多试试导航栏右上角的源