令她感到沮丧的是，她不得不承认这两天自己的决心有所削弱，而非相反。她坐在他身后，支着枕头，盖着柔软的马海毛毛毯，她从后视镜里盯着克里斯蒂安，直到他们目光交汇。她迅速看往别处，真是太尴尬了，他逮着自己偷看他了。
He drove his big silver Mercedes at an uncharacteristic crawl, being careful not to jar her bruised body. “Okay?” he asked, gliding slowly around a corner.
他开着银色大奔以一种异常缓慢的速度前行，小心翼翼生怕汽车振动弄疼了她的伤口。在转角处稍微打滑了一下，他问道：“没事吧？”
“Fine.” She sneaked another peek at his mouth. A wide mouth with sharply defined edges. Just below a long straight nose. Above a very determined chin.
“没事。”她偷瞥了一眼他的嘴，棱角分明的大嘴，鼻子又长又直，下巴轮廓坚毅。
A mouth that needed rescuing from its recent rather grim and sorrowful expression. She had plenty of ideas on how to do that but she wasn't the right person to do it, no matter how much she might yearn to be.
那双唇急需从最近糟糕和悲伤的情绪中拯救出来。她有好多能逗他开心的法子，但没资格那么做，尽管她万分希望他能好起来。
“I've never been so well looked after in my life,” she added, feeling something else was called for.
“我一生中从未被这样照料过。”她继续道，觉得需要补充点什么。
He grunted, and she stifled a smile.
他哼了一声，她收敛了笑容。
“You're going straight to bed,” he added, catching her eye in the mirror again.
“你直接回去睡觉。”他说，目光再次在后视镜中交汇。
“I've had enough bed lately. Couldn't I lie down on the window seat with lots of cushions? Enjoy the view? Feel like part of the real world again?”
“我最近睡得够多的了。我能垫些垫子躺在靠窗的座位上看看风景吗？体验一下再次回归真实世界的感受？”
“I'm putting you to bed,” he said implacably. He gave her the fierce dark-eyed ‘don't-mess-with-me' stare he'd tried a few days ago when he was insisting she left. It hadn't worked then, but Fiona didn't have the energy to fight him now. She supposed she'd have to concede defeat, at least for today.
“我把你放到床上。”他执拗得很。他凶狠狠的黑眸子瞪着她，正如前几天他坚持让她离开时的眼神一样。那时并不起作用，但菲奥娜也没力气反驳他。她觉得自己得承认输了，至少今天是输了。
He was putting her to bed?
他把她放到床上？
The words crackled through her hazy brain as he drew up outside the house. She had a sudden vivid picture of him lifting her in his arms and laying her on cool sheets before he sank down beside her, black-coffee eyes holding hers.
当他走出房间时，这些话在她意识模糊的脑海中嘎吱作响。她脑海中生动地再现了他抱起她，以及把她放到冰凉的床上，然后离开的画面，还有和那黑褐色眼眸凝视时的眼神。
More muscles…more heat…more ‘way too close'.
那么强健有力，那么滚滚发烫…那么多次‘接近’。
If only!
要是…该多好啊！
The security gates were once again functioning, but the garage front remained a mess. Tradesmen had started on the huge clean-up job. Fiona gazed in dismay at the destruction as Christian edged as close to the house entrance as possible.
安全门再次发挥作用，但是车库前面仍然一团糟。工人们已经开始大量的清理工作了。菲奥娜沮丧地望着残迹时，克里斯蒂安正尽可能地向入口靠近。
She drew a resigned breath. “How bad were your cars?”
她深吸了一口气。“你那些车怎么样了？”
“Better than I feared. Some new windscreens. Broken windows. There's panel and paint damage to those in the front row.” He braked, and caught her gaze in the mirror again.“The ones right at the back fared better. We got them all out before the roof came down. I've already had my best men do a rush job on the Merc. Could have been so much worse.”
“比我想象中好些。一些车窗破了，碎了些新挡风玻璃。前排车的仪表盘和油漆坏了一些。”他刹住车，彼此的目光再次在镜中交汇。“右手后面部分的车的遭遇要好些。我们得赶在房顶塌下来之前把它们都弄出去。我已经让我最得力的帮手做奔驰的清理工作了。情况可能还更糟些。”
“Did they catch anyone yet?”
“他们抓到偷车的人了吗？”
His mouth flattened. “Two stupid country kids. With explosives intended for some rock blasting on a river bluff. One of them used to work for me. I've no idea what they thought they were playing at—or how they expected to end up with a car worth driving after blowing the garage door off.”
他噘了噘嘴，“两个愚蠢的乡下孩子。想用炸药在河岸悬崖边上炸岩石。其中一个曾替我工作过。我不清楚他们为什么这么干，或者，他们是如何弄掉大门，最终开走一辆值钱的车的。”
Fiona bit her lip.
菲奥娜咬了咬嘴唇。
“They were damned lucky they didn't kill themselves,”he added. “They broke the side window of the garage, and had things ready to go right as we arrived home. Maybe we panicked them. I'd be interested to know who told them the garage door couldn't be opened from the inside, though.”
“他们幸亏没把自个儿命给搭进去。”他补充道，“他们打破了车库的侧窗，当我们到家时他们已经一切准备就绪。也许是我们打草惊蛇了。可我还是很想知道是谁告诉他们车库门不能从里面打开的。”
Her blood ran cold at how much worse things could have been. “What if they'd set it off when you and I were wheeling Nicola to the front door?”
她血液冰凉，想着也许还有更糟的吧。“如果他们在我们从前门推着妮可拉进来的时候动手会怎样呢？”
Christian shook his head. “Doesn't bear thinking about, does it? Just be glad it didn't happen.”
克里斯蒂安摇摇头。“不敢去想，不是吗？还是庆幸那一幕没有发生吧。”
“Oh Christian,” she murmured. “How lucky we were.”
“哦，克里斯蒂安，”她喃喃道，“我们是多么幸运啊。”
She heard him expel all his breath in a gusty sigh.“Anyway the Police recovered the Jag. But the kids had given it hell. Misjudged a bend and gone over a steep bank.”
她听到他长舒了口气。“不管怎样，警方找到捷豹了，但那俩小子已经把它糟蹋得不成样儿了，弯得厉害，又从陡岸上冲下来。”
“Not pretty?”
“不成样儿了？”
“Break your heart.”
“令人心碎。”
“Joy riders, I suppose?”
“他们估计倒是挺享受，我猜？”
He nodded, mouth again a tight line. “They won't get much joy if I get hold of them. Although I gather they're banged up worse than you are.”
他点点头，嘴唇又闭得紧紧的。“如果让我抓住他们，可就不好玩了。不过，我估计他们摔得比你还惨。”
“Justice of a kind, then?”
“那么，放他们一马？”
He shrugged, and pushed the driver's door open. “Wait,”he said, in a tone that brooked no dispute.
他耸耸肩，推开驾驶位的车门。“等着。”他说道，语气坚毅，容不得丝毫争议的余地。
Fiona bristled, but sat helplessly as he went to unlock the house. Even though there was access from the garage wing, it would be impossible to get through that way until the builders had finished.
菲奥娜汗毛都立起来了，只是无助地坐在原处，而他去打开了房门。即使这里能通往车库，但在工人们完成清理整修工作之前此路不通。
“Where's Nicky?” she asked when he returned to open the door of the Mercedes and help her out.
“妮基在哪儿呢？”当他返回来为她打开奔驰车门时她问道。
“At Jenny and Rob's where the barbecue was. I'm taking advantage of their nanny for the odd hour or two.” He nudged a long arm in behind her shoulders to gather her up.
“在珍妮和罗伯家里，户外烧烤派对就是在那儿举行的。我托给他们的保姆帮忙照看几个小时。”他长长的手臂从她身后揽住了她肩膀。
“I can do it.” She felt far too close to his big body again. Much too near his mouth.
“我可以照看她。”她再次感觉到离他高大的躯体太近了，离他的嘴唇太近了。
“Don't even think about it!” he snapped as she wriggled against him.
“想都别想！”他厉声道，好像她在蠕动身体反抗他似的。
A burst of heat enveloped her. Had he seen how much she wanted him? How she'd imagined his kiss? She lowered her eyes in shame and confusion.
一股热潮简直令她窒息。难道他看出了她多么想拥有他？看到了她如何幻想他的吻？她羞愧地垂下眼睑，十分窘迫。
“You can't walk to save yourself, Fiona. I'm carrying you. We should have asked for a wheelchair for a few days.”
“你还不能独立行走，菲奥娜。我帮来你吧。这些天我们真该找一把轮椅。”
“We still could,” she muttered, relieved he thought she wanted to walk, and didn't after all know her brain had summoned up delicious hot scenes with him as the star.
“我们依然可以啊，”她咕哝道，缓和了他以为她想要行走的想法，竟全然不知她脑海中已经幻想了各种和他亲近的场景，如同星星般火热。
She shuffled painfully to the edge of the seat. He bent lower and slid an arm under her knees, easing her sideways until he had her fully in his arms.
她艰难地挪到座位边缘。他弯下腰，一只手臂伸到她膝盖下面，慢慢地将她公主抱在手里面。
“Sorry if I'm hurting you.” His voice was a husky growl. “I'll try not to.”
“抱歉，如果弄疼你了的话。”他声音低沉有力，“我尽量轻点。”
He lifted her up and held her against his chest. Their mouths became exactly aligned. Panicked she might carry through on her fantasies, Fiona ducked her head and buried her face against his neck.
他抱起她，她的身体抵着他的胸口。他们的嘴唇几乎平行。她内心十分惊慌，艰难地抑制着自己的幻想。菲奥娜把头和脸深深埋进他的脖颈处。
She breathed him in, her nose right beside his warm skin and freshly laundered shirt. The muscles and tendons flexed in his hard shoulder and chest as he moved.
她和着空气呼吸着他的气味，她的鼻子蹭着他温暖的肌肤和新洗的T恤。他肩膀和胸口的肌腱随着步伐起伏。
“You smell nicer than the hospital,” she blurted, the words muffled against him. “I'm sorry that I don't. I'd do anything for clean hair. They washed me, but not my hair—not with the big dressing over my eyebrow.”
“你比在医院时好闻多了，”她敷衍了一句，声音很模糊，“很抱歉并没有。我真该好好洗洗头。他们替我洗澡了但是没洗头——没有能罩到眉毛的围裙。”
*
Christian navigated a corner into the hallway, careful not to bump her legs against the stair banister. Her hair smelled fantastic as far as he was concerned. The salon must have put some sort of fruity mousse or gel on it. He detected oranges, strawberries maybe—warm sexy woman. He sighed, then inhaled again and cursed his body's unmistakable reaction to her scent.
克里斯蒂安穿过转角走进了走廊，小心翼翼保护她的腿不被楼梯栏杆磕着碰着。她的头发真好闻。美发沙龙一定是给她头发用了果味摩丝或凝胶。他猜是橙子味，也可能是草莓味——温暖性感的女人。他叹了口气，又深吸气，诅咒该死的身体对她的芬芳有了不恰当的反应。
“I'm used to engine oil and auto paint,” he countered, hoping to keep things neutral. He felt Fiona's faint laugh against his ribs, and then her groan of pain. Her hair feathered against his lips as he walked slowly and carefully across the marble tiled entrance lobby. Fierce waves of desire rolled through his body, and the softness of her warm braless breast pressed against his chest.
“我习惯发动机润滑油和自动喷漆的味道，”他反驳道，希望能够保持中立。他觉得菲奥娜轻盈的笑声挑逗他的肋骨，接着她发出痛苦的呻吟。当他小心翼翼地徐徐穿过大理石门厅时，她的发丝拂过他嘴唇。汹涌的欲望之波在他体内翻江倒海。她并没有穿胸罩，温暖柔软的乳房压在他胸口。
The huge swell of protectiveness rising in his heart almost demolished him.
他胸中燃起剧烈的保护欲，几乎将他吞噬。
“Where are you taking me?” A note of caution entered her voice.
“你带我去哪？”她小心翼翼地问道。
“To my bedroom.” He continued walking steadily, still holding her across his body.
“去我卧室。”他依然抱着她稳步前进。
She muttered a small protest.
她小声咕哝表示反抗。
“Am I hurting you?”
“我弄疼你了吗？”
“I'm fine,” she whispered.
“我很好，”她小声道。
“Think about it,” he said. “Big comfortable bed. En suite bathroom right there. No stairs.” He turned sideways, directed her feet through the doorway, and stepped from the glossy sand-colored marble onto the bedroom carpet. He proceeded across the vast space with its floor to ceiling windows, bent over as he laid her down, then sank to his knees beside the bed. Finally, he loosened his grasp.
“你想想，”他说，“舒服的大床，还有配套的浴室，没有楼梯。”他侧过身，让她的脚直直穿过门道，他抱着她踩过光滑的沙色大理石地板，踏在了卧室的地毯上，走过宽敞的房间，弯腰把她放到床上，又蹲在床边。他终于松了口气。
“Okay?” His eyes were only inches from hers, his lips far too close to her mouth. He began to slide his arms from underneath her, desperately hoping he wasn't pressing on bruises or dragging at dressings.
“你还好吗？”他们眼睛近在咫尺，彼此嘴唇更是靠得很近。他慢慢从她身下抽出手来，开始从她的下面滑动双臂，非常希望他不曾压到她的伤口或是拽到衣服。
His whole body surged with wanting. His big heart thundered, his knees quivered against the floor. Blood pumped south to stiffen his unwelcome erection even further. Anguish and guilt ripped right through him as he eased his arms away. This was Jan's room, Jan's bed. No way should he be feeling this way about her sister, here of all places.
他浑身充满了渴望。大心脏扑通扑通跳个不停，双膝跪地。血液回流，令人讨厌的勃起更加僵硬。当他抽离手臂的时候，痛苦和内疚撕裂着他。这是简的房间，简的床。不管是在这儿还是其他任何地方，他都不该对简的妹妹产生这种感觉。
He looked up at the bank of family photos on the wall behind the bed and felt even worse. Jan and Nicky smiled down at him. There he stood with his arm around Jan. Nicky played with a Sesame Street toy. They'd been a family unit, safe and secure, his to protect, but now the unit was blown to pieces.
他抬头望着床背后墙上的全家福照片，心里更难受了。简和妮基冲着他微笑呢。照片中他站着搂着简。妮基在玩芝麻街玩具。他们曾经是一个完整的家庭，在他的保护下安宁又稳定，但是现在一切都已灰飞烟灭。
That was where his life was and where his heart had to stay. It was way too soon to be having the thoughts Fiona inspired, and she was the least suitable woman to have them about.
那曾是他身心驻留全心全意呵护的地方。因菲奥娜而产生的念想来得之迅速，而她是最不合适的女人。
How could he push her out of his reach forever?
他怎么能永远将她推开呢？
“Okay?” he repeated, daring to glance at her again. She looked pale and distressed. There were tiny beads of sweat on her brow. He watched her eyelids fluttering down over her green eyes.
“还好吗？”他又重复了一遍，竟然敢再看她一眼。她看起来面色苍白，十分痛苦，额头上还有些细密的汗珠。他看到她闭上了眼睛，再不见她绿眸子的光芒。
“Yes!” she gasped, impossibly close.
“嗯！”她喘息着，不可接近。
Christian remained kneeling beside the bed. He'd hungered for the sight of her—the days without her in the house had seemed like a year. However much he'd tried not to think of her, she'd danced incessantly through his thoughts.
克里斯蒂安仍然跪在床边。他多渴望多看看她——她不在的日子度日如年。然而无论他多努力控制自己不去想她，她却总是不断浮现在脑海。
She was forbidden. His wife's sister. His dead wife's sister. His very recently dead wife's sister. And she stirred feelings in him that even Jan hadn't. He laid a hand on her forehead, avoiding the dressing over her eye. Fiona flinched and drew a sharp breath. Slowly, tenderly, he stroked her hair, unable to leave her alone. “Should I stop?”
她是禁区，他妻子的妹妹，他死去的妻子的妹妹，他最近逝世的妻子的妹妹。而且她在他的心头激荡起了对简都不曾有过的感觉。他把一只手放到她前额挡住她的眼睛。菲奥娜缩了一下，深吸了口气。他慢慢地、温柔地轻抚着她的头发，不忍离去。“我该不该停下来？”
“No, it's nice,” she conceded, eyes still clenched shut. “But my hair must be awful.”
“不，这样很好，”她坦言道，闭上了眼睑，“但我头发肯定很糟糕。”
“We could wash it tomorrow…”
“明天就可以洗了…”
Her brow wrinkled in enquiry.
她皱了皱眉。
“…if you want to,” he continued.
“…如果你愿意的话。”他接着说道。
“I'd love to, but how?” Her eyes remained closed, and he was grateful, because it meant he could stay right there watching her, his aroused body hidden against the side of the bed.
“我愿意，可是怎么洗呢？”她依然紧闭着双眼，他很感激，因为这意味着他还能继续待在这儿看着她，他身子被床边遮住了。
“You're forgetting we had the whole en suite tiled,” he said. “It's a wet-room—one huge shower. I'll drag in an outdoor chair and you can sit down in there.”
“你忘了咱们整个套间都是平铺的嘛，”他说，“在浴室——有一个巨大的淋浴。我拿进来一把户外躺椅，你就能坐在那洗了啊。”
“I can't get my arms up, Christian. I'd never manage to wash it myself. I'm not great yet.”
“我抬不起手，克里斯蒂安。我还不能自己洗，我还没好全呢。”
“You're not in any shape to go to a hairdresser to get it washed, either. I'll help. We'll manage somehow.”
“你的情况也不允许你去找发型师，我会帮你洗。我们总能想办法弄好的。”
Fiona nodded mutely, lashes still cast down.
菲奥娜默默点头，依然闭着眼睛。
“I'll leave you to rest. Water? Orange juice? Lunch?”
“我留你在这儿休息吧。水？橙汁还是午餐？想来点什么”
“Water maybe.”
“水吧。”
She must have sensed him moving, because she opened her eyes. Right in time to discover him bending low over her, his lips drawn together to settle a kiss on her brow.
她一定是感觉到他离开了，因为她睁开了双眼。此时却发现他弯下腰，在她前额了轻吻了一下。
She uttered a small cry—the tiniest noise of distress—and he drew back far enough to focus on her face.
她低声啜泣——令人心痛的微弱的声音——他退回去，离得远远地望着她的脸。
“No,” she protested.
“不，”她抗议到。
“What did you think I was going to do?”
“你以为我会干什么？”
“Leave me.”
“让我静静。”
“I'm just going,” he said, misunderstanding.
“我正要走，”他说，误会了。
“No!” she repeated, eyes huge in her pale face. “I don't want you to leave me.”
“不，”她重复到，脸色苍白，眼睛瞪得大大的，“我不希望你留我一个人。”
Total silence hung between them for a few seconds.
出奇的沉默，这几秒钟双方谁都没说话。
“Fiona?” His voice was barely audible.
“菲奥娜？”他的声音几乎听不见。
“Stay. For a little bit. Please, Christian.” She trembled all over now, seemingly horrified at her plea, but with strange elation in her expression too.
“待在这儿，再待一会儿，克里斯蒂安。”她现在浑身发抖，似乎对于自己的恳求也感到恐惧了，但表情总却洋溢着奇怪的欢欣。
He gazed down at her, only inches away. With a sigh of intense regret and resignation, he cupped her face in his hands and lowered his lips to hers. He intended only the merest of touches, a butterfly brush, a tantalizing light caress of flesh past flesh. But one pass became two, then three. And her lips parted under his so he sank into a much deeper, more intimate kiss than he'd planned.
他低头盯着她，离得很近。他叹了口气，带着强烈的内疚和顺从，捧起她的脸，吻上了她的唇。他本打算的仅仅是接触而已，像蝴蝶轻触，一个撩人的、令人想要肌肤之亲的吻而已。但却一而再再而三。现在他们吻上了，他还想比原计划吻得更深刻些，更亲密些。
He ripped his mouth away with a groan, realizing what he'd done.
当他意识到自己在干什么时，埋怨着抽出了亲吻的唇。
“Rest Fiona,” he grated. He rose and turned, then strode through the doorway and pounded up the half flight of stairs to Nicky's room. Pushing the doors to the terrace open he flung himself down onto one of the outdoor chairs, legs apart, shoulders tensed, head pressed back into his interlocked hands. He clenched his eyes shut against the glare of the sun and gulped in air.
“休息吧菲奥娜，”他粗声粗气地说道。他站起来转过身，穿过门口，脚步沉重地上楼去了妮基的房间。打开通往露台的重重房门，在露台的户外躺椅上躺下来，叉开双腿，双肩紧绷，头枕在十指交叉的双手上。紧闭着双眼回避太阳炫目的光芒，贪婪地呼吸着。
Where had his self-control disappeared to? Surely it ought to be possible for him to carry an injured woman into a bedroom without making a grab for her? Fiona must still be disoriented from her concussion. He couldn't imagine she'd seriously wanted him to stay.
他究竟是在哪失去自控的呢？当然他把受伤的女人带进卧室而不动她一根手指头，这可能吗？菲奥娜一定是因为脑震荡所以思绪混乱。他真无法想象她是真的想让他留下来。
He blew out a frustrated breath and then swore savagely, rocking on the balls of his feet so his heels bounced again and again on the hard paved surface. His long calf and thigh muscles slowly relaxed, but the hard swollen ache in his groin remained.
他叹息着，喘着粗气。晃动着双脚，脚后跟一次次地打在硬板表面。纤长的小腿和大腿肌肉慢慢放松，但腹股沟僵硬的疼痛还未消失。
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