If I went a little in fear of them it wasn't because they bullied me,because they had got an oppressive foothold,but because in their really pathetic decorum and mysteriously permanent newness they counted on me so intensely.I was therefore very glad when Jack Hawley came home:he was always of such good counsel.He painted badly himself,but there was no one like him for putting his finger on the place.He had been absent from England for a year;he had been somewhere—I don't remember where—to get a fresh eye.I was in a good deal of dread of any such organ,but we were old friends;he had been away for months and a sense of emptiness was creeping into my life.I hadn't dodged a missile for a year.
He came back with a fresh eye,but with the same old black velvet blouse,and the first evening he spent in my studio we smoked cigarettes till the small hours.He had done no work himself,he had only got the eye;so the field was clear for the production of my little things.He wanted to see what I had produced for the Cheapside,but he was disappointed in the exhibition.That at least seemed the meaning of two or three comprehensive groans which,as he lounged on my big divan,his leg folded under him,looking at my latest drawings,issued from his lips with the smoke of the cigarette.
"What's the matter with you?"I asked.
"What's the matter with you?"
"Nothing save that I'm mystified."
"You are indeed.You're quite off the hinge.What's the meaning of this new fad?"And he tossed me,with visible irreverence,a drawing in which I happened to have depicted both my elegant models.I asked if he didn't think it good,and he replied that it struck him as execrable,given the sort of thing I had always represented myself to him as wishing to arrive at;but I let that pass—I was so anxious to see exactly what he meant.The two figures in the picture looked colossal,but I supposed this was not what he meant,in as much as,for aught he knew to the contrary,I might have been trying for some such effect.I maintained that I was working exactly in the same way as when he last had done me the honour to tell me I might do something some day."Well,there's a screw loose somewhere,"he answered;"wait a bit and I'll discover it."I depended upon him to do so:where else was the fresh eye?But he produced at last nothing more luminous than"I don't know—I don't like your types."This was lame for a critic who had never consented to discuss with me anything but the question of execution,the direction of strokes and the mystery of values.
"In the drawings you've been looking at I think my types are very handsome."
"Oh they won't do!"
"I've been working with new models."
"I see you have.THEY won't do."
"Are you very sure of that?"
"Absolutely—they're stupid."
"You mean I am—for I ought to get round that."
"You can't—with such people.Who are they?"
I told him,so far as was necessary,and he concluded heartlessly:"Ce sont des gens qu'il faut mettre a la porte."
"You've never seen them;they're awfully good"—I flew to their defence.
"Not seen them?Why all this recent work of yours drops to pieces with them.It's all I want to see of them."
"No one else has said anything against it—the Cheapside people are pleased."
"Every one else is an ass,and the Cheapside people the biggest asses of all.Come,don't pretend at this time of day to have pretty illusions about the public,especially about publishers and editors.It's not for such animals you work—it's for those who know,coloro che sanno;so keep straight for me if you can't keep straight for yourself.There was a certain sort of thing you used to try for—and a very good thing it was.But this twaddle isn't in it."When I talked with Hawley later about"Rutland Ramsay"and its possible successors he declared that I must get back into my boat again or I should go to the bottom.His voice in short was the voice of warning.
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