爱的体验是一种心理状态。
沉浸在爱里，
你会感到幸福快乐、生气勃勃、自由自在。
自我感觉良好，
生活就会非常美好。
当你把这种爱的体验带进生活时，
生活就会变得轻松自如，
充满喜悦。
婚？姻
On Marriage
卡里？纪伯伦 / Kahlil Gibran
Then Almitra spoke again and said， and what of Marriage， master？
And he answered saying：
You were born together， and together you shall be forever more.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay， you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness，
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you，
Love one another， but make not a bond of love：
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’ s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous， but let each one of you be alone，
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts， but not into each other’ s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together：
For the pillars of the temple stand apart，
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’ s shadow.
艾尔梅特拉再度开口问道：大师，和我们谈谈有关婚姻的事，好吗？
于是，他回答道：
你们一同出生，也将长相厮守。
当死神之翼驱散你们的日子时，你们也应在一起。
即使在上帝的记忆中，你们也将始终相守，
但是请在你们彼此的世界中保留一些空间，
好让空中的风在你们之间舞蹈。
彼此相爱，但不要让爱成为束缚，
让爱成为奔流于你们灵魂海岸间的大海。
注满彼此的杯盏，但不要只从一只杯中啜饮，
要将自己的面包赠与对方，但不是享用同一块。
两人一起欢歌曼舞，同享欢愉，但仍要各自保持自我，
就像琴上的弦虽为同一旋律而振动，但琴与弦也是彼此分开的。
奉献你们的心，但并不是要你们紧握住对方的心不放，
因为只有生命的手才能握紧你们的心。
应站在一起，但不要靠得太近，
因为廊柱分立，才能撑起庙宇。
橡树和松柏也不能在彼此的阴影下生长。
心灵小语
紧贴着的两个人只能僵立着，中间留有空隙，却能够舞蹈。留出空间，留住婚姻。
记忆填空
1. Love one____ ， but make not a bond of love：
Let it rather be a moving sea____ the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s____ but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread____eat not from the same loaf.
2. Give your____ ， but not into each other’s keeping.
For______the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
佳句翻译
1. 请在你们彼此的世界中保留一些空间，好让空中的风在你们之间舞蹈。
译__________________________
2. 彼此相爱，但不要让爱成为束缚。
译__________________________
3. 橡树和松柏也不能在彼此的阴影下生长。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
even as：正如；正当
造________________________
2. For the pillars of the temple stand apart...
stand apart：站开；离开
造________________________
婚姻的最佳境界
Making Marriage the Best It Can Be
佚名 / Anonymous
“There are two kinds of marriages，”says Richard Exley， evangelist and author. “Bad marriages and hard marriages.”
Think about it： Weddings take men and women from different backgrounds and sometimes opposite temperaments， with various and unrealistic expectations， and put them together. The result？ Often conflict， anger， disappointment and pain. There’ s no denying that marriage is hard or that any marriage can go bad. But bad marriages can be made better. It just takes a lot of work.
Marriage As We Knew It to Be
Raymond and I learned how hard marriage can be almost immediately — I started medical school just three months after our wedding. My class schedule， constant studying and clinical rotations limited our time together and strained our young marriage. The addition of our first child compounded the stress of residency. Then we assumed life would be easy if I practiced in a group with shared call.
However， two careers and two children — yes， we had another — were demanding. We were busy with church and short-term mission trips， and three of our parents died within 10 years. Life took a toll on us as individuals and as a couple； everything received more time and attention than our relationship.
We read several excellent books on marriage written by respected and knowledgeable Christian authorities. Each explained exactly what was wrong and how to fix it. But when we put the principles into practice， we’ d get ahead only a little before we got stuck in the same old patterns. Every time we tried and failed made it harder to begin again.
We did not communicate well. Both Raymond and I believed the other didn’ t hear or understand what we thought or felt. There was little overt conflict， yet little emotional intimacy. Issues went unresolved， as did our anger， which led to chronic resentment. Though we were both committed to our marriage， it lacked its original passion， and we longed to regain it.
But how？
Marriage As We Hoped It Could Be
We found an answer when we attended a Christian Medical & Dental Society conference. Drs. Alan and Claudia Nelson talked about the problems physicians’ marriages face and described Regeneration， the counseling retreat they conduct near Aspen， Colo. It sounded like what we needed， so we agreed to go. The first date that fit our schedule was eight months away. Even though I doubted those 10 days would change our relationship， I thought a vacation in Colorado could be fun and relaxing and maybe that would help.
The retreat included group sessions and counseling， both as individuals and as a couple. The other attendees were very congenial； we all were there for similar reasons， so no one hesitated to speak freely about his or her problems. Everyone was supportive and caring， and camaraderie developed quickly.
The Nelsons focused on the "three Cs"— communication， conflict resolution and commitment — and encouraged us to make marriage and family our first priorities instead of allowing our work to take over our schedules. Marriage needs both emotional and sexual intimacy， they explained， and partners cannot afford to neglect either one. Infidelity usually occurs because spouses look away from each other to have these needs met. Time for meaningful conversation and sexual relations will not happen regularly unless a couple plans for them. As Alan emphasized， “If you were having an affair， you would find ways to be together.”
Sharing spiritual values and praying together were emphasized. It draws couples closer together， they said. And we personally find it to be one of the biggest boons to strengthening our marriage.
During individual counseling sessions， Raymond and I reviewed the family dynamics in which we grew up — homes where the fathers were emotionally distant and unsupportive. Neither of us saw much emotional intimacy in our parents marriages. I found I wanted and expected Raymond to meet emotional needs my father failed to fulfill. My husband， in turn， struggled with conflicting emotions about his military service in Vietnam， particularly why he survived when so many， including a close friend， did not.
In joint sessions， we addressed issues that strained our relationship. We both avoided conflict by suppressing anger and withdrawing emotionally. Thus we grew distant and didn’ t confront new issues as they arose. Some of them dated back several years but remained painful because we had never resolved them. Raymond admitted he still resented my frequent absences from home during residency， when he cared for our infant son alone. His lack of sensitivity and support when my mother was ill and confined to a nursing home continued to gall me after all this time. We began to recognize the layers of hurt and resentment that we needed to peel away before we could forgive each other and build a new relationship.
The retreat gave us time together with no distractions — our cabin didn’ t even have a television！ Yet without the trappings and concerns of daily life， we had plenty of time to talk， have fun and immediately put into practice what we learned. We simply enjoyed being together. It was like a honeymoon！
Committing to changing our behavior after we returned home， Raymond and I make note of the concepts that were presented and planned to review them regularly. We also identified key areas we needed to improve upon and developed a plan to accomplish these goals. Knowing we needed more time for the two of us， for example， we made a list of times during the week， such as Tuesday noontimes and Thursday evenings， that we could commit to spending together regularly.
Marriage As We Make It to Be
Yes， marriage is hard， sometimes we slip back into old patterns. When we do， we head back to the basics — communication， conflict resolution and commitment — and start again. Raymond and I talk， listen， forgive and pray more than ever.
We recently attended a weekend marriage seminar with our son and his fiancee. Their upcoming wedding is an extra incentive for us to keep our relationship — now in its 26th year and counting — tuned up. True， our marriage will never be perfect. But with God’ s help， it will never be bad either. And neither should anyone else’ s.
“婚姻有两种类型：劣质婚姻和艰苦婚姻。”福音传教士、作家理查德？埃克斯利这样说道。
考虑一下：婚姻把来自不同背景的男人和女人结合在一起，有时他们甚至有相反的性格，有不同且不现实的抱负。结果怎样呢？结果通常是冲突、恼怒、失望和痛苦。不可否认，婚姻是艰难的，或者说任何婚姻都有可能变坏。但是，只要多付出努力，糟糕的婚姻状况还是可以改善的。
我们所了解的婚姻
我和雷蒙德几乎很快就知道婚姻有多难了——我们结婚仅仅三个月后，我就开始了医校的学习。我的课程安排得很紧，持续学习和病房倒班，限制了我们一起相处的时间，这使我们的婚姻有些紧张。第一个孩子的降生，加重了我在住院医生组实习的压力。于是，我们想，如果我在共同查房实习的话，就会轻松些。
然而，两份工作和两个孩子——是的，我们又生了一个孩子——真是让我们筋疲力尽。我们忙于教会和短期的外出传教，我们父母中的三位也在十年间相继去世。生活使我们个人和我们的夫妻关系经历了磨难。每件事情都占据了比我们夫妻关系更多的时间和精力。
我们读过几本关于婚姻的好书，都是由备受尊敬、知识渊博的基督教权威人士编著的。每一本都精确地说明什么是错的，又该如何改正。但是，当我们将理论付诸行动时，我们只能在原有的状态上，得到一点点进步。每次尝试，结果都是失败，这使得我们下一次的尝试变得更难。
我们不能很好地沟通。我和雷蒙德都坚信，对方不能听懂或理解各自的想法或感觉。我们没有大的冲突，也没有亲密的情感。问题得不到解决，我们的怒气也就难以消除，这导致了长期的怨恨蓄积。虽然我们对婚姻都很忠诚，但是婚姻失去了最初的激情。我们都渴望重新获得激情。
但是，该怎么做呢？
我们渴望的那种婚姻生活
在参加一个基督教的医学和牙科交流会时，我们找到了答案。咨询休养活动是在临近科罗拉多州的地方举行的，艾伦？纳尔逊和克劳迪娅？纳尔逊医生组织了这项活动。会上他们将谈到医生面临的婚姻问题，也会阐述如何重建和谐婚姻。听起来好像正是我们所需要的，于是我们一致决定去参加。适合我们时间表的第一个时期是八个月之后。即使我对那十天能改变我们的关系感到怀疑，但是我想，在科罗拉多州度假也是一件很惬意的事，可以放松心情，或许会有益处。
修养活动包括小组会议和咨询活动两项内容。既以个人身份，也以夫妻身份参加。其他参与者也都情投意合。由于都是因类似的原因才来到这里的，所以大家都毫不迟疑地、直率地说出了各自的问题。每个人都很关心发言人的问题，并提出建设性意见。友谊很快便在我们之间建立了。
纳尔逊医生夫妇着重说了“三C问题”，即交流、解决冲突和奉献。“三C问题”旨在鼓励我们把婚姻和家庭放在首位，不要让工作代替我们的原有计划。他们解释说，婚姻需要情感，也需要性爱的亲昵，夫妻双方不能忽视其中的任何一个。通常，背叛的行为是由于忽视了这方面的需求而导致的。只有夫妻提前安排，意味深长的交谈和亲密的性爱才会有规律的发生。就像艾伦强调的一样：“如果你在恋爱，你就会想尽办法和他（她）在一起。”
他们强调了分享精神价值观和共同祷告，认为这样可以加深夫妻的亲密关系。我们也亲身体会到，这是一种巩固我们婚姻的有效方法。
在个人咨询会上，我和雷蒙德回忆了我们成长中的家庭动力。在情感上，父亲离我们很远，对我们也没有丝毫支持。在父母的婚姻中，我们也没看到有太多的亲密情感。我发现，我期望雷蒙德能给予我父亲没能给予的感情。而我的丈夫，在他的越南服兵役时的冲突情感中挣扎，尤其是因为那么多战友，其中包括一位好友都没能活下来，而自己幸存了。
在夫妻双方参加的会议上，我们叙述了导致我们关系紧张的问题。为避免冲突的发生，我们都压抑自己的怒火，控制自己的情感。因此，我们越加疏远，也不能面对我们发生的新问题。其中有许多都是几年前的事情，因为我们从未解决，伤痛就一直残留着。雷蒙德承认，他还责备我在医院实习时经常不在家，让他一个人照看我们的婴儿。当我的母亲生病住在私人看护所时，他的不闻不问仍然让我很气愤。我们开始认识到，在建立一个新的夫妻关系之前，我们必须要先消除伤害和怨恨。
这次活动给了我们一段不被分心的时间，让我们相处在一起。我们的房间甚至没有电视！没有饰品和日常生活的琐事，我们有很多时间可以交谈、娱乐，并能立刻把我们所学的东西用于实践。我们简单地享受在一起的快乐，就像度蜜月一样！
我们互相约定，回到家后要改正自己的行为，并把在这儿学的东西都作了笔记，打算经常回顾一下。我们也确定了需要改进的关键问题，并制订了一个计划来实现这些目标。比如，认识到我们需要更多相处，就要安排我们两个人的时间，像每周的星期二中午和星期四晚上在一起，以便我们能够有规律地相处。
我们努力做到的婚姻生活
是的，婚姻生活不容易。有时，我们也会落入老套。当这些事情发生时，我们就要回到最初的地方——交流、解决冲突和奉献，然后再开始。我和雷蒙德比从前更频繁地交谈、倾听、宽容和祈祷。
最近，我们夫妻俩参加了一个周末婚姻研究会，一同去的还有儿子和他的未婚妻。他们即将来临的婚姻，更激励我们维持和谐美满的关系。现在我们的婚姻已经26年了，并且它还会继续下去。当然，我们的婚姻永远不可能完美，但是因为上帝的帮助，它也不会变得糟糕。其他人的婚姻也应这样。
心灵小语
婚姻绝不是爱情的坟墓，而是给了爱情责任和依托。婚姻生活并不容易，需要交流、解决冲突和奉献，我们要像呵护爱情那样呵护它。
记忆填空
1. There’s____denying that marriage is hard or that any marriage can go__ . But bad marriages can be made__ . It just takes a lot of____ .
2. Marriage needs____emotional and sexual intimacy， they explained， and partners____afford to neglect either one. Infidelity usually occurs because spouses look away from each other to have these____ met.
3. Yet____the trappings and concerns of daily life， we had plenty of____to talk， have fun and immediately put into____what we learned.
佳句翻译
1. 每次尝试，结果都是失败，这使得我们下一次的尝试变得更难。
译__________________________
2. 友谊很快便在我们之间建立了。
译__________________________
3. 当这些事情发生时，我们就要回到最初的地方——交流、解决冲突和奉献，然后再开始。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. The Nelsons focused on the “three Cs”— communication...
focus on：关注
造________________________
2. We began to recognize the layers of hurt...
begin to do：开始；开始做……
造________________________
你应该知道的男人秘密
Do You Really Understand Men？
佚名 / Anonymous
It is a fact that young men are more romantic than young women. Young men fall in love at the drop of a hat. Young women， on the other hand， are much more pragmatic when it comes to choosing marriage partners. Men consider that being with their partners is sufficient to express their love. Whereas women consider a man romantic only if the word love is always on his lips.
Men attach more importance to marriage than women do， and there are fewer male celibates. Moreover， men find more satisfaction in marriage. A survey found that 87% of the men questioned said that if they married again they would choose the same partners， whereas 76% of the women questioned said the same.
Men feel pain， but they handle it in a different way from women. It is true that after divorce they will not lose control of themselves by crying bitterly， but they suffer more from stomach disorders， plunge into alcoholism and cause traffic accidents. Another survey found that divorced men can only overcome their emotional pain by means of physical exercise.
Men generally dislike admitting that they need other people. They regard admitting loneliness as weakness， as ridiculous and as an expression of a lack of manliness. The fact that men do not like to talk about loneliness does not mean that they never feel lonely. And men do have a good reason for avoiding the topic of loneliness， because they fear that others will usually look down on them. However， if a woman confides in someone that she is lonely， far from looking down on her， people will be very willing to help her.
Ninety-four percent of men wish to change their image. A study found that a man’ s self-esteem is often directly connected with his outward appearance. Thin and small men often regard themselves as punny and easily sink into depression.
Men generally think of themselves as decision-makers， and not as shoulders to cry on. So when a person pours out his or her troubles to a man， the latter hastens to give advice. It would be better if he simply lent a sympathetic ear.
青年男子实际上比青年女子更浪漫。年轻的男子爱上一个人很容易。年轻的女子正好相反，她们在选择婚姻的伴侣时更注重实际。男人们认为，和他们的伴侣在一起就是充分表达他们的爱。然而，女人们判断男人浪漫与否，需要看他是否将“爱”时常挂在嘴边。
男人比女人更注重婚姻。男性中的独身主义者要比女性中的少。而且，在婚姻生活中，男人能得到更多的满足。一项调查显示，被提问的男士当中有87％的人认为，如果可以重新结婚的话，他们还会选择自己现在的妻子，而只有76％的女士有这样的说法。
男人也有痛苦的感觉，只是他们的发泄方式不同于女人。事实上，在离异的时候，他们不会像女人那样感情失控，痛哭流涕，他们更多的是受肠胃功能紊乱的折磨，去喝酒，常引发交通事故。另一项调查表明，离异后的男人只能通过体育锻炼的方式，来排解感情上的痛苦。
通常，男人都不喜欢承认需要他人。他们认为承认孤独就是一种软弱，是一种可笑的举动，是一种缺乏刚毅的表现。男人不喜欢谈论孤独，但这并不意味着他们从不感觉孤单。对于孤独话题的逃避，男人的确有一个很好的理由：因为时常害怕会被人看不起。然而，如果一个女人向某人倾诉自己很孤独时，非但不会被人看不起，还会得到人们自愿的帮助。
有94％的男人希望自己的形象可以改变。一项研究表明，通常，男人的自尊心会与他的外在形象有直接的关系。瘦弱矮小的男人常常会认为自己很卑微，很容易变得意志消沉。
男人一般视自己为决策者，而不是倾听哭诉的对象。因此，一旦有人向他们吐露问题时，他们就会急忙给出建议。事实上，只要同情地去倾听就可以了。
心灵小语
男人和女人之间到底存在着多少奇妙，谁也说不清楚，可唯一确定的是，只有洞察男女之间的这些微妙的不同之处，才能和谐融洽地相处。
记忆填空
1. Men consider that being with their partners is sufficient to express their__ . Whereas____consider a man romantic only______ the word love is always on his lips.
2. Ninety-four____of men wish to change their image. A study found that a man’s self-esteem is____directly connected with his outward appearance. Thin and small men often regard____as punny and easily sink____ depression.
佳句翻译
1. 男人也有痛苦的感觉，只是他们的发泄方式不同于女人。
译__________________________
2. 他们认为承认孤独就是一种软弱，是一种可笑的举动，是一种缺乏刚毅的表现。
译__________________________
3. 男人一般视自己为决策者，而不是倾听哭诉的对象。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. Young men fall in love at the drop of a hat.
fall in love：爱上某人；堕入爱河
造________________________
2. ...far from looking down on her.
look down on：看不起；蔑视；轻视；俯视
造________________________
爱情不是交易品
Love Is not Like Merchandise
佚名 / Anonymous
A reader in Florida， apparently bruised by some personal experience， writes in to complain， “If I steal a nickel’s worth of merchandise， I am a thief and punished； but if I steal the love of another’ s wife， I am free.”
This is a prevalent misconception in many people’s minds— that love， like merchandise， can be “stolen”. Numerous states， in fact， have enacted laws allowing damages for “alienation of affections”.
But love is not a commodity； the real thing cannot be bought， sold， traded or stolen. It is an act of the will， a turning of the emotions， a change in the climate of the personality.
When a husband or wife is “stolen” by another person， that husband or wife was already ripe for the stealing， and was already predisposed toward a new partner. The “love bandit”was only taking what was waiting to be taken， what wanted to be taken.
We tend to treat persons like goods. We even speak of children “belonging” to their parents. But nobody “belongs” to anyone else. Children are entrusted to their parents， and if their parents do not treat them properly， the state has a right to remove them from their parents’ trusteeship.
Most of us， when young， had the experience of a sweetheart being taken from us by somebody more attractive and more appealing. At the time， we may have resented this intruder — but as we grew older， we recognized that the sweetheart had never been ours to begin with. It was not the intruder that “caused” the break， but the lack of a real relationship.
On the surface， many marriages seem to break up because of a “third party”. This is， however， a psychological illusion. The other woman or the other man merely serves as a pretext for dissolving a marriage that had already lost its essential integrity.
佛罗里达州的一位读者写信来抱怨说：“如果我偷走了价值五分钱的商品，我就是一个贼，但是，如果我偷走了别人妻子的爱，却能安然无恙。”显然，他有悲伤的记忆。
这种误解在很多人心中普遍存在——爱情像商品一样，可以被“偷走”。事实上，很多州已经颁布了法律，允许索取“情感转让”损失费。
但是，爱情不是商品，真正的情感不可能买卖、交易或者偷走。它是一种自愿行为，是情感的一种转变，是个人思想的一种变革。
当一个人的丈夫或妻子被另一个人“偷走”，其实，丈夫或妻子被偷的条件已经成熟，已经准备偏向新的伴侣。这个“爱的劫匪”只不过是拿走了正等着人来拿，想被人拿走的东西而已。
我们总是把人像商品一样对待。我们甚至说孩子“属于”他们的父母，但是，谁也不属于任何人。孩子只是托给父母照管，而且，如果他们的父母不能很好地对待他们，州政府有权利剥夺他们对孩子的监护权。
年轻的时候，我们大多数人都经历过恋人被更有魅力和吸引力的人夺走的痛苦经历。那时，我们对这个插足者痛恨不已。但是，随着年龄慢慢增长，我们就会意识到，恋人从一开始就不属于我们，导致决裂的不是插足者，而是两人之间缺乏真正的感情。
从表面看来，很多婚姻的破裂似乎是因为“第三者”插足。然而，这不过是一种心理上的幻觉。女人或男人，只不过是为解除名存实亡的婚姻找的一个借口罢了。
心灵小语
爱情其实是个很脆弱的东西，它是需要两个人细心维护的。当曾发誓相爱的两个人，开始接受新的爱情，并不是因为有第三者的插入，而是那两个人的爱情已经破裂了。牢固的爱情不会因为有第三个人的存在而破灭。只有爱情已经破灭，第三者才能插进来。
记忆填空
1. But____is not a commodity； the real thing cannot be bought， sold， traded or stolen. It is an act of the____， a turning of the emotions， a____ in the climate of the personality.
2. We tend to treat persons like__ . We even speak of children “belonging” to their__ . But nobody “belongs” to____else. Children are entrusted to their parents， and____their parents do not treat them properly， the state has a____to remove them from their parents’trusteeship.
佳句翻译
1. 这种误解在很多人心中普遍存在——爱情像商品一样，可以被“偷走”。
译__________________________
2. 导致决裂的不是插足者，而是两人之间缺乏真正的感情。
译__________________________
3. 女人或男人，只不过是为解除名存实亡的婚姻找的一个借口罢了。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. We tend to treat persons like goods.
tend to：常常；倾向于；注意；关心
造________________________
2. ...but the lack of a real relationship.
lack of：没有；不够；不足；缺乏
造________________________
男人不要装聋
Husband Should Hear，Wife Shouldn’t Take It Seriously
佚名 / Anonymous
Picture the scene. Other Half and I， sprawled out in front of the television. A fleeting sensation of domestic happiness passes over me and all my troubles vanish quickly.
I look over at Other Half and feel a great dollop of affection.
“I love you.” I say. Not too loud， mind， there’ s a plot developing and I don’ t want to miss anything.
Other Half doesn’ t move a muscle.
“Hmm？” he murmurs.
I said， “I love you.”
Other Half heroically tears his eyes away from the screen.
“Hmm？” he repeats.
“You’ re getting deaf in your old age，” I pronounce loudly and clearly.
He hears that.
“Thanks.” he says. And then mutters something.
“What？” I say.
“I said，” he shouts， loud enough for the neighbors to hear， “You talk too quietly.”
What I want to know is how does an innocent declaration of love turn into yet another battle of our perennial ！
“No， You’ re the One Who’ s Deaf.”
I wouldn’ t mind， but I’ m utterly convinced that Other Half’ s deafness is selective. When I mention a subject close to his manly heart — namely， sport， engine valves or something — and he hears it all， clear as a bell.
And am I the only one who has experienced the following conversation？
Me (excited)： “What time shall we leave tonight？”
Other Half (anxious)： “Leave for where tonight？”
Me (weary)： “To the theatre. I told you three weeks ago. And then again two weeks ago. And I repeated it yesterday. Each time louder than the last.”
Other Half： “I don’ t remember you telling me.”
Me (very clearly)： “That’ s because you never listen！”
Other Half： “I listen to everything you say. You must have just forgotten to tell me.”
Me (Beautifully pronouced， with choice semaphore)： “I want a divorce.”
You see？ A nice trip to the theatre reduced to marital disintegration in minutes.
How come when we were “courting” he heard everything I said？ Now I have to practically climb inside his ear to get the same response. Has he， like so many other Other Halves， simply learned the art of switching off when The Wife talks for longer than her allotted time？ When I’ m recounting the latest development of “Finding The Right Shoes For That Dress，” does he just see me， mouthing incoherently at him， while secretly picturing what he is really interested in？
My friend from work has exactly the same problem with her husband. He forgets little things such as friends’ weddings， because he insists she never told him about them. This is after she’ s shown him her new outfit， shown him the present and even bought him a new tie to wear for it.
Her answer？ She waits for his adamant declaration that she definitely didn’ t tell him and then she says quietly， “One day I’ ll say something important.”
Invariably， her husband smiles at this. As far as he’ s concerned， his point is proved. He never hears her punch-line， which she delivers as she walks out of the room.
“Like when I’ m leaving you for my toy boy.”
Hear， hear！
有这样一幅场景画面：我和我的伴侣坐在电视机前看节目。一种短暂而强烈的家庭幸福感袭遍全身，我所有的烦恼很快消失了。
我转过头深情地望着我的另一半，有一股强烈的感情产生。
“我爱你。”我说。我的声音并不很高。注意，节目的情节正在发展，我不想错过任何一个细节。
我的伴侣没有任何反应。
“嗯？”他咕哝道。
“我爱你。”我又对他说。
另一半英雄般地将视线从荧屏上挪开。
“什么？”他又问道。
“等你上了年纪，耳朵会变聋的。”我大声而清晰地说道。这次，他听到了。
“谢谢。”他说。之后又嘀咕了些什么。
“你说什么？”我问。
“我说，”他喊道，那声音高得邻居都能听到，“你说话时声音太小了。”
我搞不懂，一句真诚的爱情表白怎么就变成了我们的另一场常年发生的战争！
“胡说，你才是聋子。”
我并不介意，不过，我坚信他的聋是具有选择性的。当我提到一个与他的男子气概相符的话题时，也就是运动、发动机阀门什么的，他就能全部听得清清楚楚。
是否只有我经历过下面这样的交谈呢？
我（兴奋地）：“今天晚上我们什么时候动身啊？”
另一半（着急地）：“今天去哪儿？”
我（厌倦地）：“去影院啊。我三个星期前就跟你说过了。两个星期前又跟你说了一次。昨天我还跟你重复了一遍呢。每次说的时候声音都比上一次的高。”
另一半：“我怎么不记得你跟我说过啊。”
我（十分清楚地）：“那是因为你从来都没有听。”
另一半：“你说的每一件事我都听到了，一定是你忘记告诉我了。”
我（优雅地用精选的语句宣布）：“我要和你离婚。”
你都明白了吗？一次美妙的影院之行却在几分钟内引发了导致婚姻瓦解的矛盾。
怎么他在追求我的时候对我说的每句话都能听得一清二楚，而现在我需要贴在他的耳朵边上，他才会有相同的反应？他是不是也和其他另一半一样，在妻子唠叨的时间过长时，听力系统会自动关闭？是不是在我对他讲 “如何搭配服饰与鞋子”的最新内容时，他只是一脸无奈苦相地看着我，其实正在偷偷地想自己真正感兴趣的事情？
我的同事与她的丈夫之间也存在着这样的问题。他总忘记一些小的事情，如朋友的婚礼，他坚持说这是因为妻子没有告诉他。而她当时对她丈夫讲这件事的时候，还给他看了自己的新衣服、要送的礼物，甚至还给他买了参加婚礼的新领带。
她有什么反应呢？她干脆等丈夫坚决地声明妻子没有将此事告诉给他后，平静地说：“总有一天，我会告诉你一件重要的事情。”
老样子，她的丈夫对此只是一笑。对他而言，这正证实了他的说法。她走出房门的时候，留给他一句话：“比如，我离开你要去找我的情人。”当然，这句重要的话他是听不到的。
听听，听啊！
心灵小语
忽视你的爱人，终有一天也会被爱人忽视，甚至抛弃。学会关心你的爱人，就像婚前一样，这样你们的爱情才不会因失去维护而凋零。
记忆填空
1. I wouldn’t__ ， but I’m utterly convinced that Other Half’s deafness is selective. When I mention a____close to his manly heart — namely， sport， engine valves or something — and he____it all， clear as a bell.
2. How____when we were “courting” he heard____I said？ Now I have to practically climb inside his____to get the same response.
3. My friend from work has exactly the____problem with her husband. He____little things such as friends’ weddings， because he insists she never____him about them.
佳句翻译
1. 一种短暂而强烈的家庭幸福感袭遍全身，我所有的烦恼很快消失了。
译__________________________
2. 我搞不懂，一句真诚的爱情表白怎么就变成了我们的另一场常年发生的战争！
译__________________________
3. 一次美妙的影院之行却在几分钟内引发了导致婚姻瓦解的矛盾。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. ...of love turn into yet another battle of our perennial ！
turn into：把……变成……；把……翻译成……
造________________________
2. He forgets little things such as friends’ weddings.
such as：例如；诸如；像……那样的
造________________________
爱
On Love
卡里？纪伯伦 / Kahlil Gibran
Then said Almitra， speak to us of Love.
And he raised his head and looked upon the people， and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said：
When love beckons to you， follow him， though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him， though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him， though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun， so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant；
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire， that you may become sacred bread for God’ s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart， and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’ s heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love’ s peace and love’ s pleasure， then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’ s threshing-floor， into the seasonless world where you shall laugh， but not all of your laughter， and weep， but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed， for love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say， “God is in my heart， ”but rather， “ I am in the Heart of God.” And think not you can direct the course of love， for love， if it finds you worthy， directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires， let these be your desires：
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love；
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving；
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’ s ecstasy；
To return home at eventide with gratitude；
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
艾尔梅特拉说，请告诉我们有关爱的事情吧！
他抬头望着众人，四周一片寂静。然后，他用洪亮的声音说道：
当爱召唤你时，跟随他，虽然他的道路艰难而险峻。
当他展翅拥抱你时，依顺他，虽然他羽翼中的利刃会伤害你。
当他开口对你说话时，相信他，虽然他的声音会击碎你的梦，像狂风扫尽园中的花。
爱虽然可以为你加冕，但也能将你钉上十字架；他虽然可以帮助你成长，但也能将你削砍剪刈。
他会攀至你的高处，抚慰着你在阳光下颤动的最柔嫩的枝条，但也会潜至你的根部，动摇你紧紧依附着大地的根须。
爱把你像麦捆般聚拢在身边。
他将你们脱粒，使你们赤裸。
他将你们筛选，使你们摆脱麸糠。
他碾磨你们，直至你们清白。
他揉捏你们，直至你们柔顺。
尔后，爱用神圣的火烘焙你，让你成为上帝圣宴上的圣饼。
这一切都是爱为你们所做，使你们能从中领悟自己内心的秘密，从而成为生命之心的一小部分。
但是，在恐惧中，你若只是追求爱的平安与欢乐，那你倒不如遮盖住自己的赤裸，躲避爱的筛打，躲进那没有季节的世界，在那里，你会开怀，但不是尽情欢笑；你会哭泣，但不是尽抛泪水。
爱，除了自身别无所予，也别无所求。
爱，不占有也不被占有。因为，爱在爱里满足了。
你若付出爱时，不要说“上帝在我心中”，而应说“我在上帝心中”。而且，不要以为你可以为爱指引方向。因为，爱若认为你够资格，它自会为你指引方向。
爱别无他求，只求成全自己。
但如果你爱了，又必定有所渴求，那就让这些成为你的所求吧：
融化自己，使之似潺潺细流，在夜晚吟唱自己的清曲。
体会太多温柔带来的痛苦。
被自己对爱的体会所伤害，
并且心甘情愿地淌血。
清晨，带着一颗雀跃的心醒来，感谢又一个充满爱的日子；
午休，沉思爱的心醉神怡；
黄昏，带着感激之情归家；
睡前，为你心中的挚爱祈祷，唇间吟诵着赞美诗。
心灵小语
爱，除了自身别无所予，也别无所求。爱，不占有也不被占有。因为，爱在爱里满足了。不要以为你可以为爱指引方向。因为，爱若认为你够资格，它自会为你指引方向。
记忆填空
1. All these things shall____do unto you that you may____the secrets of your heart， and____that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
2. love’s threshing-floor， into the seasonless world____you shall laugh， but not all of your__ ， and weep， but not all of your____ .
3. But__ you love and must needs have desires， let these be your__ ：To melt and be____a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
佳句翻译
1. 他的声音会击碎你的梦，像狂风扫尽园中的花。
译__________________________
2. 爱虽然可以为你加冕，但也能将你钉上十字架。
译__________________________
3. 爱，不占有也不被占有。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving…
at dawn：在黎明，破晓
造________________________
2. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.
give thanks for：感谢……
造________________________
爱的过程
Let Go
佚名 / Anonymous
The experience of love is an inner state. When this is present， you are happy， alive， and free. You feel good about yourself and good about life. As you bring the experience of love into your life， life works effortlessly and great things happen.
The opposite of love is fear and upset. When this is present， you lose down inside. You lose your creativity and your ability to see clearly. You get tunnel vision and you interact in a way that almost always makes your situation worse.
Whether you live in a state of love or a state of upset depends， not on your circumstances， but on how you relate to your circumstances. A good way to see this is to look at upsets.
Upsets seem to be caused by what happens but they’ re not. Upsets are caused by your fighting and resisting what happens. To see this in your life， select a recent upset， Now notice what would happen if somehow you were at peace with what happened. There would be no upset.
There would be no upset because upsets aren’ t caused by what happened. Upsets are caused by fighting and resisting what happened. The moment you take away the fighting and resisting， the upset disappears.
To live the experience of love， and to create a life that works， you need to stop the fighting and resisting. You do this through a process called letting go.
Letting go is the inner action that releases the fear and upset. The moment you let go， everything seems to change. With the fear and upset gone， you see your situation very differently. You become creative and discover solutions that you could never have seen before.
To let go， you need to do the opposite of fighting and resisting. You need to let go of your demands and expectations for how life should be and make peace with the way life is.
Find what you are resisting. Then give it full permission to be there， If you have a fear of losing a relationship， be willing to be it. If you are resisting the way someone is， then give the person full permission to be that way.
Be willing for anything. Set yourself free inside. Then take whatever action you need to have your life be great.
Keep in mind that letting go is a state of mind and has nothing to do with your actions. Letting go is the process that removes the fear and upset so you can see what action you need to take.
In your heart， you can be willing to lose someone， but in your actions， do everything you can to make sure the person feels so loved that he or she would never want to leave.
To make letting go a little easier， there are several steps you can take. The first is trusting. Trust that no matter what happens， you will be okay. When you know that you will be okay， letting go becomes relatively easy.
Trusting is also telling the truth. You really will be okay no matter what happens. Life is only threatening when you resist. So stop resisting and trust. Trust that no matter what happens， you will be okay.
The second step in the process of letting go is to be willing to feel your hurt. Be willing to feel all the hurt and the feelings of being not okay that your circumstances reactivate. Be willing to feel the hurt of being worthless or not “good enough”.
The avoidance of this hurt is what makes you resist. Once you are willing to feel this hurt， the need to resist disappears. You can then let go.
For example， Robert had a fear of losing his wife Jan. To make sure she didn’ t leave， he hung on to her. His hanging on then pushed her further and further away. Robert was afraid of losing Jan because if she left him， this would reactivate all his hurt of feeling not worth loving. To avoid this hurt， he hung on.
Once he was willing to feel his hurt， the loss of Jan ceased to be a treat. He no longer needed to hang on and became willing for her to leave. The moment this happened he changed the way he related to her. Instead of needing Jan， he started treasuring her. Jan then felt so loved and able to be herself， she didn’ t want to leave.
This is what happens in life. The more you are able to let go and flow with life， the more life takes care of itself. You may not always get what you want， but you can always be free inside. You can restore both your peace of mind and your effectiveness. You can create a life that works.
爱的体验是一种心理状态。沉浸在爱里，你会感到幸福快乐、生气勃勃、自由自在。自我感觉良好，生活就会非常美好。当你把这种爱的体验带进生活时，生活就会变得轻松自如，充满喜悦。
爱的反面是恐惧和不安。处于这种状态时，你会深深地陷入绝望，失去创造力和洞察事物的能力；你的视野会变得狭窄，处世方式也会受到影响，这些使你的处境变得更糟。
不论你是沉浸在爱里还是陷入到烦恼中，一切并非取决于你的环境，而在于你面对环境的态度。有一个很好的解决方法：正视你的烦恼。
烦恼看似因某些事而起，其实不然，它源于你对既成事实的对抗和抵触。为了证实这点，挑一件你生活中最近的烦恼来看看。现在，试想你能坦然面对发生的一切，看看结果会如何？烦恼不存在了。
某些事情的发生并不能引起烦恼，导致烦恼的是人们对事实的反抗和抵触。当你不再反抗和抵触时，烦恼也就消失了。
为了生活在爱的海洋里，为了创造高效的生活，你应该停止这种反抗和抵触。你经历的这个过程就叫做：放手。
放手是一种心理活动，它能驱散恐惧和烦恼。从放手的那一刻起，一切看起来似乎已经改变了，恐惧和烦恼不复存在，你的处境也将截然不同。你变得富于创造力，并能够找到意想不到的解决方法。
放手吧，你需要走到对抗和抵触的彼岸，你需要忘记对生活的渴求和期望，平静地对待生活。
找到你抵触的原因吧！然后接受它的存在。如果你害怕失去某种关系，那就作好心理准备；如果你抵制某人的行为方式，那就在心里允许放任它。
心甘情愿地去接受任何事，从内心深处解放自己。然后，采取一切行动，使你的生活变得美好幸福吧。
记住，放手是一种内心状态，与你的行为没有任何关系；放手是一个驱散恐惧和不安的过程，它让你看清自己喜欢怎样的行为方式。
在内心深处，你可以失去某人，但在行为上，你所做的一切，都要让对方感受到爱，让他或她永远不想离开你。
要想轻松地放手，可以采取以下几个步骤。首先是相信，相信无论发生什么事，你都会很好。当你知道自己会安然无恙时，放手就会相对轻松了。
相信也就是说出真相，不论发生什么，你真的不会有事。当你抵触的时候，生活才会充满威胁。所以，停止反抗，去相信吧，相信即使天塌了下来，也有人撑着。
放手的第二个步骤是欣然接受伤痛，乐意去感受痛苦，去体验生活中的失望，体会自认为毫无价值或不尽如人意的伤害。
逃避这些伤害就是你抵触的根源，而你一旦愿意去体会这种痛楚，抵触就消失了，你可以放宽心怀了。
比如说，罗伯特害怕失去妻子简。为了确保她不离开，他牢牢地控制她，却让她与自己越来越疏远。罗伯特害怕失去简，如果她离开了他，他会觉得自己不值得爱。为了逃避这种伤害，他一再纠缠。
一旦他准备欣然接受这种伤害，害怕失去简的感觉已不在了，他不再需要纠缠，准备接受她的离去。此时此刻，他们之间的关系已经发生了变化，他不再需要简，而是开始信任她。简感受到他的痴情，又恢复了身心自由，也就不想离开了。
这就是生活，你越能坦然接受一切，顺其自然，它就越轻松自在。你不可能事事顺通，但你的内心能潇洒自如。你恢复了内心的宁静，变得更加理智，你就能创造更加美好的生活。
心灵小语
爱，是抓不住的。当你能做到放手时，就会发现，爱，就在你的心间。
记忆填空
1. The opposite of____is fear and upset.____this is present， you lose down inside. You____your creativity and your ability to see clearly. You get tunnel vision and you interact in a way that almost always makes your situation____ .
2.____you know that you will be okay， letting go becomes relatively easy.Trusting is also telling the____ . You really will be okay no matter what____ . Life is____ threatening when you resist.
佳句翻译
1. 当你把这种爱的体验带进生活时，生活就会变得轻松自如，充满喜悦。
译__________________________
2. 某些事情的发生并不能引起烦恼，导致烦恼的是人们对事实的反抗和抵触。
译__________________________
3. 你不可能事事顺通，但你的内心能潇洒自如。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. The moment you take away the fighting and resisting， the upset disappears.
take away：拿走；减去
造________________________
2. To make sure she didn’t leave， he hung on to her.
make sure：务必；查明；确保，确定
造________________________
灵魂的限度
The Story of Life
佚名 / Anonymous
Sometimes people come into your life and you come to realize that they were meant to be there， to serve some sort of purpose， teach you a lesson， or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate， neighbor， co-worker， long-lost friend， lover， or even a complete stranger)， but when you lock eyes with them， you know in an instant that they will affect your life in some profound way.
And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible， painful， and unfair at first， but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential， strength， willpower or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness， injury， love， brilliant achievements， and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests， whatever they may be， life would be like a smoothly paved， straight， flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable， but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life， and the success and downfalls you experience， help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact， they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you， betrays you， or breaks your heart， forgive them， for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you， love them back unconditionally， not only because they love you， but because in a way， they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things. Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can， for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before， and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love， break free， and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself， for if you don’ t believe in yourself， it will be hard for others to believe in you.
You can make of your life anything your wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets. Most importantly， if you love someone tell him or her， for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.
人们不时走进你的生活，有时你会觉察出。他们是出于某种特定目的：给你一个教训，帮你认清自己或你理想中的自己。你永远不知道这些人是谁（可能是你的室友、邻居、同事、久违的朋友、爱人，甚至完全是一个陌生人）。一旦你开始关注他们，很快便会发现，他们影响了你的生活，而且往往很深远的。
有时，发生在你身上的事情看似可怕、痛苦，或不公平，但细思之后，你会发现，如果没有克服这些障碍，就永远不可能认识到自己的潜力、能力、毅力，或者真实的内心世界。世事皆非出于偶然。疾病、伤痛、爱情，辉煌的成就和彻底的失败，这一切都是检验你灵魂的限度。不论它们以何种方式出现，没有这些细微的考验，生活会如一条平坦笔直的大道，无止境地延伸下去，也许安逸舒适，却枯燥乏味，毫无意义。
你遇到的人会影响你的生活，你所经历的成功和失败，都有助于塑造和成就你。甚至是那些不幸的遭遇也能让你有所领悟，这事实上也可能是最深刻、最重要的。如果有人伤害了你，出卖了你，或者伤透了你的心，原谅他们吧，因为他们教会了你：敞开心扉时，保持警惕心态和真诚待人同样重要；如果有人爱你，那么无条件地去爱他们吧，不只是因为他们爱你，更因为在某种意义上，他们教会你去爱，教会你如何敞开心扉，打开心窗去看世间万物；让每天都意义非凡吧，珍惜每一刻，并充分感受它带来的一切。因为每一时刻不会重复拥有；与从未交谈过的人聊聊，并认真聆听吧；让自己坠入爱河，并跳出情网之束缚；昂首向前，放宽视野吧。你完全有权利这么做，告诉自己你是一个很杰出的人，并相信自己。因为如果连你都不相信自己，别人将更难相信你。
你可以随心所欲地享受生活，创造属于你自己的生活方式，并无怨无悔。最为重要的是，如果你爱上了谁，就告诉他或她，因为你不知道明天会发生什么。
心灵小语
如果你爱上了谁，就告诉他或她。
记忆填空
1. You never____who these people may be (possibly your roommate， neighbor， co-worker， long-lost friend， lover， or____a complete stranger)， but____you lock eyes with them， you know in an instant that they will affect your life in some profound____ .
2. Make every day__ . Appreciate every____and take from those moments everything that you possibly can， for you may never be able to experience it__ . Talk to people that you have never____to before， and actually listen.
佳句翻译
1. 保持警惕心态和真诚待人同样重要。
译__________________________
2. 如果有人爱你，那么无条件地去爱他们吧。
译__________________________
3. 你可以随心所欲地享受生活，创造属于你自己的生活方式，并无怨无悔。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. ...or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.
figure out：算出；想出；理解；断定；解决
造________________________
2. Hold your head up because you have every right to.
hold up：举起；抢劫；支撑；阻挡
造________________________
婚姻、爱和自由可以并存吗
Marriage， Love and Freedom
佚名 / Anonymous
You are asking， “Is it possible to be married and to be free？”
If you take marriage non-seriously， then you can be free. If you take it seriously， then freedom is impossible. Take marriage just as a game—it is a game. Have a little sense of humor， that it is a role you are playing on the stage of life； but it is not something that belongs to existence or has any reality—it is a fiction.
But people are so stupid that they even start taking fiction for reality. I have seen people reading fiction with tears in their eyes， because in the fiction things are going so tragically. It is a very good device in the movies that they put the lights off， so everybody can enjoy the movie， laugh， cry， be sad， be happy. If there was light it would be a little difficult—what will others think？ And they know perfectly well that the screen is empty—there is nobody； it is just a projected picture. But they forget it completely.
And the same has happened with our lives. Many things which are simply to be taken humorously， we take so seriously—and from that seriousness begins our problem.
In the first place， why should you get married？ You love someone， live with someone—it is part of your basic rights. You can live with someone， you can love someone.
Marriage is not something that happens in heaven， it happens here， through the crafty priests. But if you want to join the game with society and don’t want to stand alone and aloof， you make it clear to your wife or to your husband that this marriage is just a game：“Never take it seriously. I will remain as independent as I was before marriage， and you will remain as independent as you were before marriage. Neither I am going to interfere in your life， nor are you going to interfere in my life； we will live as two friends together， sharing our joys， sharing our freedom—but not becoming a burden on each other. And any moment we feel that the spring has passed， the honeymoon is over， we will be sincere enough not to go on pretending， but to say to each other that we loved much—and we will remain grateful to each other forever， and the days of love will haunt us in our memories， in our dreams， as golden—but the spring is over. Our paths have come to a point， where although it is sad， we have to part， because now， living together is not a sign of love. If I love you， I will leave you the moment I see my love has become a misery to you. If you love me， you will leave me the moment you see that your love is creating an imprisonment for me.”
Love is the highest value in life： It should not be reduced to stupid rituals. And love and freedom go together—you cannot choose one and leave the other. A man who knows freedom is full of love， and a man who knows love is always willing to give freedom. If you cannot give freedom to the person you love， to whom can you give freedom？ Giving freedom is nothing but trusting. Freedom is an expression of love.
So whether you are married or not， remember， all marriages are fake—just social conveniences. Their purpose is not to imprison you and bind you to each other； their purpose is to help you to grow with each other. But growth needs freedom； and in the past， all the cultures have forgotten that without freedom， love dies.
You see a bird on the wing in the sun， in the sky， and it looks so beautiful. Attracted by its beauty， you can catch the bird and put it in a golden cage.
Do you think it is the same bird？ Superficially， yes， it is the same bird who was flying in the sky； but deep down it is not the same bird—because where is its sky， where is its freedom？
This golden cage may be valuable to you； it is not valuable to the bird. For the bird， to be free in the sky is the only valuable thing in life. And the same is true about human beings.
你问：“婚姻和自由，二者可以兼得吗？”
如果把婚姻看得轻松一些，你就可以获得自由；如果以严肃的态度来看待婚姻，你绝对不可能获得自由。把婚姻当做一场游戏，它就是一场游戏。人要有一点儿幽默感，那只是你在生命的舞台上扮演的一个角色，它既不属于存在的范畴，也不具有真实性——它只是一部小说。
然而，人们居然愚昧地把小说当成了现实。我看到人们读小说的时候泪流满面，那是因为小说里的一切都那么悲惨。在电影院，关掉灯是一个很好的办法，那样人们就会陶醉在电影中，然后哭泣、欢笑、快乐和伤心。然而，人们在开着灯的时候就很难做到了，因为其他人会作何感想呢？他们也非常清楚，银幕中没有人，那是空的，只是投影下的图像，但他们完全忘了这一切。
同样的事情也发生在我们的生活中，很多只需要幽默对待的事物，我们却变得认真起来，从而问题就来了。
首先，为什么要结婚呢？爱一个人，并与这个人共同生活——这是你的基本权利之一。你可以与某人一起生活，你可以去爱某个人。
天堂里没有婚姻，牧师耍了个手腕，你们就结婚了。但是为了能够加入到这个社会游戏中，为了不脱离社会，你需要让你的妻子或丈夫明白：“婚姻只是一场游戏，不要把它看得过于严肃。婚姻中，我们都要像从前那样，各自保持独立，不妨碍彼此的生活。我们不要成为对方的负担，而要像朋友一样，分享喜悦和自由。只要我们感觉到春天离去，蜜月结束了，我们就要非常真诚，不必再伪装了：只要对彼此说——我们曾经是那么相爱，以后也会永远感激对方，昔日美好的时光会留在我们的记忆里，闪耀在梦中——但是，春天已经结束了。我们的路已经走到了尽头，尽管伤心，我们仍然要分开。因为，我们现在在一起生活已经不再是因为爱了。如果我爱你，你留下来的话，我的爱对于你来说就是悲惨世界；如果你爱我，我留下来的话，你的爱对于我来说就是无期徒刑。”
生命中最珍贵的就是爱，所以爱不应该变成愚蠢的仪式。爱与自由是不可分割的，你无法选择其中一个而放弃另一个。懂得自由的人是一个内心充满爱的人，而一个懂得爱的人是能够给予别人自由的人。如果对于你爱的人，你都无法给予自由，你又能给谁自由呢？给予自由只是一种责任，自由就是爱的表达方式。
不管你是否结婚，都要记住，所有的婚姻都只是一种伪装，只是为了方便参加社会游戏。婚姻的目的是为了让双方共同进步，而不是彼此束缚。成长需要自由，然而，过去的所有文明都忘记了，没有自由的爱情必定会消亡。
在阳光明媚的天空中，你看到了一只飞翔的小鸟，它看起来是如此美丽。它深深地吸引着你，于是你捉住了这只小鸟，把它放进金丝笼中。
你认为，这只鸟还是原来的那只吗？表面上看来，这只鸟还是天空中飞翔的那只，然而，从深层来讲，它已经不是了。因为，天空没有了，它的自由又何在呢？
对你来说，这只金丝笼也许很宝贵，然而，对于这只小鸟来说，它是没有价值的。对一只小鸟而言，在天空中自由飞翔是它生命中唯一有价值的事物。对人类而言，道理也是一样。
心灵小语
婚姻是一座围城，它永远让人疑惑，催生无数的问题。爱情也好，自由也罢，一旦我们把它放入这座城中，就会与其发生化学反应。即便人类历史已走过千年，这永恒的碰撞也从未止息……
记忆填空
1. Have a little____of humor， that it is a role you are____on the stage of life； but it is not____that belongs to existence or has any reality—it is a fiction.
2. Many things____are simply to be taken humorously， we____so seriously—and from that seriousness begins our____ .
3. You see a____on the wing in the sun， in the sky， and it looks so beautiful. Attracted by its____ ， you can catch the bird and put it in a golden____ .
佳句翻译
1. 然而，人们居然愚昧地把小说当成了现实。
译__________________________
2. 生命中最珍贵的就是爱，所以爱不应该变成愚蠢的仪式。
译__________________________
3. 爱与自由是不可分割的，你无法选择其中一个而放弃另一个。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. But people are so stupid that they even start taking fiction for reality.
take for：认为，以为；把……看成是
造________________________
2. Our paths have come to a point， where although it is sad.
come to a point：变尖锐；到紧要关头
造________________________
爱源于微笑
Love from Smile
佚名 / Anonymous
The poor are very wonderful people. One evening we went out and we picked up four people from the street. And one of them was in a most terrible condition， and I told the sisters： You take care of the other three. I take care of this one who looked worse. So I did for her all that my love can do. I put her in bed， and there was such a beautiful smile on her face. She took hold of my hand as she said just the words “thank you” and she died. I could not help but examine my conscience before her and I asked what would I say if I was in her place. And my answer was very simple. I would have tried to draw a little attention to myself. I would have said I am hungry， that I am dying， I am cold， I am in pain， or something， but she gave me much more—she gave me her grateful love. And she died with a smile on her face. As did that man whom we picked up from the drain， half eaten with worms， and we brought him to the home. “I have rived like an animal in the street， but I am going to die like an angel， loved and cared for.” And it was so wonderful to see the greatness of that man who could speak like that， who could die like that without blaming anybody， without cursing anybody， without comparing anything. Like an angel—this is the greatness of our people. And that is why we believe what Jesus had said： I was hungry， I was naked， I was homeless， I was unwanted， unloved， uncared for， and you did it to me.
I believe that we are not real social workers. We may be doing social work in the eyes of the people， but we are really contemplatives in the heart of the world. For we are touching the body of Christ twenty-four hours… And I think that in our family we don’t need bombs and guns， to destroy， to bring peace， just get together， love one another， bring that peace， that joy， that strength of presence of each other in the home. And we will be able to overcome all the evil that is in the world.
And with this prize that I have received as a Prize of Peace， I am going to try to make the home for many people who have no home. Because I believe that love begins at home， and if we can create a home for the poor I think that more and more love will spread. And we will be able through this understanding love to bring peace be the good news to the poor. The poor in our own family first， in our country and in the world. To be able to do this， our sisters， our lives have to be woven with prayer. They have to be woven with Christ to be able to understand， to be able to share. Because to be woven with Christ is to be able to understand， to be able to share. Because today there is so much suffering...And when I pick up a person from the street， hungry， I give him a plate of rice， a piece of bread， I have satisfied. I have removed that hunger. But a person who is shut out， who feels unwanted， unloved， terrified， the person who has been thrown out from society—that poverty is so full of hurt and so unbearable...And so let us always meet each other with a smile， for the smile is the beginning of love， and once we begin to love each other naturally we want to do something.
穷人是很了不起的。一天傍晚，外出时，我们从街上带回四个人，其中一个生命垂危。我对一个姐妹说：“我来照顾她，你们去照顾其他三个。”我竭尽所能地帮助她，把她放到床上，只见她露出美丽的笑容，抓住我的手，说了句“谢谢您”，然后便离开了人世。看着她，我不禁扪心自问：假如是我，我会怎样呢？答案再简单不过了，我会让更多人关注我，会说自己又冷又饿，奄奄一息，痛苦不堪，等等。可她赠予了我更多——那就是感激之爱，她是带着一抹微笑离开人世的。我们在排水道找到的那个男子也是如此，当时，他的身体几乎被虫子吞噬， 因此我们把他带了回来。“我像动物一样在街上活着，却能如天使般死去——备受关爱与呵护。”他语出惊人，我觉察到了他的伟大。没有责怪，没有诅咒，没有抱怨，如同天使——我不禁感叹，我们的人民这般伟大。正因如此，我们对耶稣的圣言坚信不疑——我饥肠辘辘，赤身裸体，无家可归。没有人要我，没有人爱我，没有人关心我，然而你给予了我一切。
我感到，我们的社会工作还做得很不够。也许在世人眼中，我们是社会工作者，事实上，我们只能称为精神世界的修行者。因为，我们每时每刻都在触摸基督的圣体。我想，在这个大家庭里，我们要远离战争、团结一致、互助互爱、和平共处。唯有这样，一切邪恶才会消亡。
作为和平奖的获得者，我准备用所得奖金为那些无家可归的人建立家园。我深信，家是爱的发源地。如果穷人在我们的帮助下，有了自己的家园，那么爱便会广为传播。同时，我们将通过这种宽容博大的爱，把平安和福音带给穷人——我们家乡的穷人，我们国家的穷人，以及全世界的穷人。为了达到这个目的，姐妹们，我们必须日日祈祷，将自己与基督融为一体。这样，我们才能互相体谅，分享苦难。因为与基督融为一体就意味着体谅他人，与人分享；因为今天的世界仍存在如此多的苦难……当我把一个饥饿的人从街上带回，施与他一盘饭、一片面包，让他果腹，我就很满足了。假如一个人露宿街头，没有他人的关心和呵护，惊恐忧虑，为社会所弃——这样的贫困让人痛彻心肺，无法忍受。因此，让我们彼此相见时，给予微笑吧，因为微笑是爱的开端，一旦我们开始互相关爱，自然就会乐于奉献。
心灵小语
我们习惯了繁忙的生活，习惯了彼此的冷漠，也许忘记了人类是群居的动物。我们需要同类的拥抱，就像传递火种一样，这并不会让我们失去什么，反而会让自己拥有加倍的温暖。
记忆填空
1. I could not help____examine my conscience before her and I asked what would I say____I was in her place. And my____was very simple. I would have tried to draw a little attention to____ .
2. And I think that in our family we don’t____ bombs and guns， to destroy， to bring peace， just get__ ， love one another， bring that peace， that joy， that strength of presence of each other in the home. And we will be____to overcome all the evil that is in the world.
佳句翻译
1. 我像动物一样在街上活着，却能如天使般死去——备受关爱与呵护。
译__________________________
2. 我想，在这个大家庭里，我们要远离战争、团结一致、互助互爱、和平共处。
译__________________________
3. 让我们彼此相见时，给予微笑吧，因为微笑是爱的开端，一旦我们开始互相关爱，自然就会乐于奉献。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. One evening we went out and we picked up four people from the street.
pick up：拾起；捡起；取（物）；接（人）；振作起来
造________________________
2. She took hold of my hand as she said just the words “thank you” and she died.
take hold of：握住；控制住；吸引；对……有影响力
造________________________
以眼交流
Eyes Can Speak
佚名 / Anonymous
Much meaning can be conveyed， clearly， with our eyes， so it is often said that eyes can speak.
Do you have such kind of experience？ In a bus you may look at a stranger， but not too long. And if he is sensing that he is being stared at， he may feel uncomfortable.
The same in daily life. If you are looked at for more than necessary， you will look at yourself up and down， to see if there is anything wrong with you. If nothing goes wrong， you will feel angry toward other’s stare with you that way. Eyes do speak， right？
Looking too long at someone may seem to be rude and aggressive. But things are different when it comes to stare at the opposite sex. If a man glances at a woman for more than 10 seconds and refuses to avert his gaze， his intentions are obvious， that is， he wishes to attract her attention， to make her understand that he is admiring her.
However， the normal eye contact for two people engaged in conversation is that the speaker will only look at the listener from time to time， in order to make sure that the listener does pay attention to what the former is speaking. As for the listener， he will to a certain extent look continuously at the speaker， to tell him that he is attentive.
If a speaker looks at you continuously when speaking， as if he tries to dominate you， you will feel disconcerted. A poor liar usually exposes himself by looking too long at the victim， since he believes in the false idea that to look straight in the eye is a sign of honest communication. Quite the contrary.
In fact， continuous eye contact is confined to lovers only， who will enjoy looking at each other tenderly for a long time， to show affection that words cannot express.
Evidently， eye contact should be done according to the relationship between two people and the specific situation.
我们的眼睛能准确地传达一些信息，所以人们常说，眼睛会说话。
你有过类似的体验吗？在公共汽车上，你可能会看着一个陌生人，但时间不会太长，而且，如果他感觉到有人盯着他，会觉得浑身不自在。
日常生活中亦如此，如果别人一直盯着你看，你就会不由自主地审视自己，看看是不是有什么地方弄错了。如果一切正常，你就会对别人的这种盯梢很气愤。眼睛确实能说话，不是吗？
过久地盯着别人看会给人一种粗鲁和侵犯的感觉，但异性之间的凝视就不同了。如果一个男人盯着一个女人超过10秒钟，还不想挪开视线的话，他的意思就十分明显了——他想引起她的注意，让她知道他爱慕她。
正常情况下，两人交谈时，目光接触能传达这样的意思：说话者偶尔看看听者，以此确认听者是否在认真倾听；而对于听者来说，他会一直看着说话的人，以此告诉他，自己正专心致志地听着。
假如与你说话的那个人直直地盯着你，好像要镇住你似的，你便会感到惶恐不安。通常，说谎者往往就是看别人的时间过长，而使人起疑。因为他们以为直视别人的眼睛是诚实沟通的表现，结果恰恰相反。
实际上，长时间地相互凝视仅适合情人之间，他们喜欢温柔地对视，用目光来传达言语无法表达的爱意。
显然，目光交流应该根据双方的关系和特定场合来进行。
心灵小语
我们每天说很多话，用来互相交流。有的时候，不得不承认，一切语言都不及一个眼神能恰到好处地表达我们的意思。言语可能会撒谎，但是眼睛永远不会，它才是我们内心最忠实的呈现者。
记忆填空
1. Do you have such____of experience？ In a bus you may look at a stranger， but not too____. And if he is sensing that he is being stared at， he may feel____ .
2. But things are____when it comes to stare at the opposite sex. If a man glances at a____for more than 10 seconds and refuses to avert his gaze， his intentions are__ ， that is， he wishes to attract her attention， to____her understand that he is admiring her.
小试身手
1. 我们的眼睛能准确地传达一些信息。
译__________________________
2. 过久地盯着别人看会给人一种粗鲁和侵犯的感觉。
译__________________________
3. 目光交流应该根据双方的关系和特定场合来进行。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. If a man glances at a woman for more than 10 seconds and refuses to avert his gaze...
refuse to：拒绝；不愿；不肯
造________________________
2. ...that is， he wishes to attract her attention...
attract one’s attention：吸引某人注意
造________________________
爱的两个世界
The Lover and the Beloved
卡森？麦卡勒斯 ／ Carson McCullers
First of all， love is a joint experience between two persons—but the fact that it is a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience of the two people involved. There are the lover and the beloved， but these two come from different countries. Often the beloved is only a stimulus for all the stored-up love which has lain quiet within the lover for a long time hitherto. And somehow every lover knows this. He feels in his soul that his love is a solitary thing. He comes to know a new， strange loneliness and it is this knowledge which makes him suffer. So there is only one thing for the lover to do. He must house his love within himself as best he can； he must create for himself a whole new inward world—a world intense and strange， complete in himself. Let it be added here that this lover about whom we speak need not necessarily be a young man saving for a wedding ring—this lover can be man， woman， child， or indeed any human creature on this earth.
Now， the beloved can also be of any description. The most outlandish people can be the stimulus for love. A man may be a doddering great-grandfather and still love only a strange girl he saw in the streets of Cheehaw one afternoon two decades past. The preacher may love a fallen woman. The beloved may be treacherous， greasy-headed， and given to evil habits. Yes， and the lover may see this as clearly as anyone else—but that does not affect the evolution of his love one whit. A most mediocre person can be the object of a love which is wild， extravagant， and beautiful as the poison lilies in the swamp. A good man may be the stimulus for a love both violent and debased， or a jabbering madman may bring about in the soul of someone a tender and simple idyll. Therefore， the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself.
It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that， in a deep secret way， the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover， and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any possible relation with the be loved， even if this experience can cause him only pain.
爱，首先是两个人共同体验的——但这并不意味着他们的感受有何相似之处。爱，分为两种，即爱与被爱，施爱者和被爱者分属于不同的世界。被爱者常常是激发了施爱者在内心贮存了很久的激情。对于施爱者，这一点他很清楚，因为他常能感到灵魂深处爱的孤寂，这是一种前所未有的、陌生的孤寂，正是这种认识，让他痛苦万分。因而，施爱者也只有一种选择，即尽量将爱深埋于心，重塑一个全新的内心世界—— 一个强烈、陌生，完全属于他自己的世界。这里所说的施爱者不一定指为买结婚钻戒而努力存钱的小伙子，它囊括了男人、女人、孩子，或者说是全人类。
同样，被爱者也可以是任何类型的人，最怪异的人也可能被人深爱着。步履蹒跚的曾祖父可能依旧爱着一个陌生女孩，那个20年前在奇豪街头见到的女孩；牧师可能会爱上一个风尘女子。被爱者可能是背信弃义、油嘴滑舌之辈，或是染上很多恶习的人。当然，像其他人一样，施爱者同样也清楚地看到这些——但是，这丝毫不会影响他的爱意。如同沼泽地里的毒百合，一个普普通通的人也会有一场疯狂、放纵、奢华、色彩斑斓的爱，一个善良的人可能会有一场粗暴而低劣的爱，语无伦次的疯子也可能会给某人带去温柔而淳朴的浪漫情爱。因此，爱的价值及其品质取决于施爱者自身。
正因为如此，在爱与被爱之间，很多人宁愿选择前者，而不是后者。当然，人人都想成为施爱者，粗略地说来，很奇怪的是，很多人竟无法忍受处于被爱的状态。被爱者有很明白的理由对爱者又怕又恨，因为爱者始终设法想把被爱者看得一清二楚。爱者渴望与被爱者有一些关系，即使这样做只会让自己痛苦。
心灵小语
爱，是一种感情；爱，是一种感觉；爱，没有休止……爱，是值得，是复杂，是思念……
记忆填空
1. Let it be added here that this____about whom we speak need not necessarily be a____man saving for a wedding ring—this lover can be man， woman， child，____indeed any____creature on this earth.
2. A man may be a doddering great-grandfather and still____only a strange girl he saw in the streets of Cheehaw one afternoon two decades past. The preacher may love a fallen____ . The beloved may be treacherous， greasy-headed， and given to evil____ . 佳句翻译
1. 爱，分为两种，即爱与被爱，施爱者和被爱者分属于不同的世界。
译__________________________
2. 如同沼泽地里的毒百合，一个普普通通的人也会有一场疯狂、放纵、奢华、色彩斑斓的爱。
译__________________________
3. 因此，爱的价值及其品质取决于施爱者自身。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. First of all， love is a joint experience between two persons.
first of all：首先；开始时
造________________________
2. ...but these two come from different countries...
come from：来自某处；由……造成；源自
造________________________
你会懂得……
After a While...
佚名 / Anonymous
After a while you learn
The subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul；
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning，
And company doesn’t mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises；
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and eyes open，
With the grace of a woman， not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads
On today because tomorrow’s ground
Is too uncertain for plans， and futures have
A way of falling down in mid flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much；
So plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul， instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn
With every good bye you learn， you relieve...
你很快就会懂得，
握住一只手与锁住一颗心，
之间有着精妙的差异；
你懂得爱并非依赖，
有陪伴并非就安全。
你会懂得亲吻并非契约，
礼物也非承诺；
失恋的痛苦你也开始能够承受。
昂起你的头，睁开你的眼，
展现你女人的风姿绰约，而非孩子般的忧郁无助。
你该清楚，
应该在今天铺设自己所有的路。
因为明天充满了太多的变数，很难规划，
且未来总会出其不意地出现在我们面前。
你很快就会懂得，
若拥有太多的阳光，也会使人灼伤；
因此要培植自己的花园，美化自己的心灵，
而不要静待别人把鲜花送至你手。
你会懂得自己确实很有耐力……
自己的确很坚强，
且拥有自身的价值。
你会逐渐懂得更多，
每次的分手都会令你有所感悟，有所解脱……
心灵小语
爱会让你一次次成长。
记忆填空
1. And you learn that love doesn’t____leaning，
And company____mean security.
2. Is too uncertain for__ ， and futures have
A____of falling down in mid flight.
3. And you____ that you really can endure...
That you really are____
And you really do____ worth.
佳句翻译
1. 你该清楚，应该在今天铺设自己所有的路。
译__________________________
2. 你很快就会懂得，若拥有太多的阳光，也会使人灼伤。
译__________________________
3. 自己的确很坚强，且拥有自身的价值。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much...
after a while：过一会儿；片刻后；不久
造________________________
2. Your own soul，instead of waiting...
instead of：代替；而不是；不是……（而是）
造________________________ 给生活的建议
Instructions for Life
佚名 / Anonymous
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
Memorize your favorite poem.
Don’ t believe all you hear， spend all you have or sleep all you want.
When you say， “I love you”， mean it.
When you say， “I’ m sorry”， look the person in the eye.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
Believe in love at first sight .
Never laugh at anyone’ s dreams. People who don’ t have dreams don’ t have much.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’ s the only way to live life completely .
In disagreements， fight fairly. No name calling.
Don’ t judge people by their relatives.
Talk slowly but think quickly.
When someone asks you a question you don’ t want to answer， smile and ask， “Why do you want to know？”
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
Call your parents.
Say “Bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.
When you lose， don’ t lose the lesson.
Remember the three R’ s： Respect for self； Respect for others； Responsibility for all your actions.
Don’ t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
When you realize you’ ve made a mistake， take immediate steps to correct it.
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older， their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
Spend some time alone.
Open your arms to change， but don’ t let go of your values.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Read more books and watch less TV.
Live a good， honorable life. Then when you get older and think back， you’ ll get to enjoy it a second time.
Trust in God but lock your car.
A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
In disagreements with loved ones， deal with the current situation.
Don’ t bring up the past.
Read between the lines.
Pray. There’ s immeasurable power in it.
Never interrupt when you are being flattered .
Mind your own business.
Don’ t trust a man/woman who doesn’ t close his/her eyes when you kiss.
Once a year， go someplace you’ ve never been before.
If you make a lot of money， put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’ s greatest satisfaction.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
Judge your success by what you have done compared to what you could have done， not to what others have done with their abilities.Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
给予人们比他们自己预期的更多，并且欣然为之。
牢记你最爱的诗歌。
不要相信你所听来的一切；也不要耗尽你所拥有的一切；更不要将时间都浪费在睡眠上。
说“我爱你”时，要满怀诚意。
说“对不起”时，要注视对方的眼睛。
至少在订婚半年后再结婚。
笃信一见钟情。
对别人的梦想不妄加嘲讽，没有梦想的人不会拥有很多。
全心投入地去爱。或许你会受到伤害，可是，这却是使人生完整的唯一途径。
意见相悖时，要公正地争论，切不可大吵大嚷。
不要以一个人的亲戚来评判此人。
说话语速宜慢，但反应要快。
当有人问及你不想回答的问题时，要笑问对方：“为何想知道答案？”
谨记：不朽的爱情和伟大的成就都要冒巨大风险才可获得。
多打电话问候父母。
听到某人打喷嚏时，要说：“上帝保佑你。”
失败时，要记得汲取教训。
铭记“三个”原则，即：尊重自己，尊重他人，对自己的行为负责。
不可因小事而伤害友谊。
一旦意识到自己犯了错误，就要及时采取措施予以补救。
接听电话要保持微笑，因为对方可以从你的声音感受到你的热情。
与有共同语言的人结为夫妻。那样在你年老时，就会发觉有共同的话题比其他任何事情都更为重要。
给自己留些独处的时间。
勇于改变，但切不可放弃你的价值观。
记住，有时沉默是最好的回答。
多读书，少看电视。
过一种优质而高尚的生活。那样，当你逐渐老去，回首往事时，才会再次体味到生命的意义。
相信上帝，但要锁好你的车。
爱的氛围对一个家是何等重要，努力营造一个温馨和睦的家吧。
与至爱的人意见相左时，要恰当处理当前事态。
不要总翻旧账，过去的就让它过去吧。
要透过现象看事情的本质。
经常祈祷，它会使你力量倍增。
不要打断别人对你的溢美之言。
管好自己的事儿。
不可相信睁眼接受你亲吻的人。
一年当中，去一次你从未去过的地方。
倘若你发了财，要在有生之年用这些钱去帮助别人。
这是财富最伟大的满足。
谨记：塞翁失马，焉知非福？
谨记：伟大的友情往往都是付出得多，索取得少。
判断一个人成功与否，要将他的办事能力与实际结果予以比较；而不是将他与别人作比较。要想得到情爱和食粮，就要不吝舍弃。
心灵小语
你的能力有多大，成功就有多大。要想得到更多的回报，就要不吝舍弃。所谓“鱼与熊掌，不可兼得”，要想获得更大的胜利，就要适时放弃其他事情，懂得分清主次，这样才可以做好更大的事情！
记忆填空
1. Don’t____all you hear， spend all you have or sleep all you want.
When you say， “I love you”____ it.
When you say， “I’m sorry”， look the person in the____ .
Be engaged at____ six months before you get married.
2. Spend some time____ .
Open your arms to change， but don’t let go of your____ .
Remember that____ is sometimes the best answer.
Read more____ and watch less TV. 佳句翻译
1. 给予他们比他们自己预期的更多，并且欣然为之。
译__________________________
2. 至少在订婚半年后再结婚。
译__________________________
3. 给自己留些独处的时间。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. Believe in love at first sight.
love at first sight：一见钟情
造________________________
2. In disagreements with loved ones， deal with the current situation.
deal with：论述；涉及；处理
造________________________
你应当知道的智慧箴言
Moving Thoughts
佚名 / Anonymous
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person， we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
When the door of happiness closes， another opens， but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don’ t see the one which has been opened for us.
The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with， never say a word， and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ ve ever had.
It’ s true that we don’ t know what we’ ve got until we lose it， but it’ s also true that we don’ t know what we’ ve been missing until it arrives.
Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they’ ll love you back！ Don’ t expect love in return； just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn’ t， be content it grew in yours. It takes only a minute to get a crash on someone， an hour to like someone， and a day to love someone， but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
Don’ t go for looks； they can deceive. Don’ t go for wealth； even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.
There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real！
Dream what you want to dream； go where you want to go； be what you want to be， because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet， enough trials to make you strong， enough sorrow to keep you human， enough hope to make you happy.
Always put yourself in others’ shoes. If you feel that it hurts you， it probably hurts the other person， too.
The happiest people don’ t necessarily have the best of everything； they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
Happiness lies for those who cry， those who hurt， those who have searched， and those who have tried， for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.
Love begins with a smile， grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past， you can’ t go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born， you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die， you’ re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Please send this message to those people who mean something to you， to those who have touched your life in one way or another， to those who make you smile when you really need it， to those that make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down， to those who you want to let them know that you appreciate their friendship. And if you don’ t， don’ t worry， nothing bad will happen to you， you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone’ s day with this message.
在遇到心仪之人前，上帝也许会让我们先遇到其他不合适的人；这样，在我们最终遇见时，便会心存感恩。
当一扇幸福之门关闭时，另一扇便会开启。可多数时候，我们却因过久地凝望那扇紧闭的门，而忽略了为我们新敞开的那扇门。
最好的朋友是那些与你心意相通的人，你会觉得你们的相对无言，是最美妙的心灵交流。
只有失去了，才知其珍贵；同样，只有拥有了，才发现其匮乏。这是至理名言。
施与真爱，不求回报，期待爱的传播，享受着对爱的自我满足。迷恋上一个人，需要一分钟；喜欢上她，需要一个小时；爱上她，需要一天；忘记她，则需要整整一生。
切勿追求外表的华美，它是不可靠的；切勿追求财富，它会灰飞烟灭。微笑，可以把光明洒向黑暗之隅，那么，追寻可以使你永远微笑的人，寻找能够使你会心而笑的人吧。
人的一生有许多这样的时刻：当你朝思暮想某人的时候，你恨不得把他从梦境中拉出来，与他真切地相拥于现实中！
生命不可轮回，机会不可再来，在有生之年，做自己想做的事，做自己想做的梦，去自己想去的地方，做自己想做的人吧。
愿快乐永远陪伴你，使你越发亲切可人；愿磨难时常伴随你，使你日渐坚强有力；愿心肺痛彻，令你人性通达；愿希望满怀，令你幸福快乐。
要经常换位思考。如果你感觉伤害到了自己，那么，可能别人也受到了伤害。
最幸福的人不一定拥有最美好的一切，他们只是最充分地珍惜了他们所拥有的一切。
幸福属于那些曾哭泣之人，曾受伤之人，不断探索之人。只有他们，才懂得对自己生活有影响的人们的重要性。
爱，起于微笑，浓于亲吻，逝于泪水。
光明的未来往往建立在对过去遗忘的基础之上。如果你总是沉湎于过去的失败和痛心中不能自拔，生活就不可能变得更加美好。
当你呱呱落地时，你哭着，周围的人都笑着。真诚地面对生活，那样，当你走到生命的尽头之时，才会是你笑着，周围的人哭着。
请把这些赠与对你的生命至关重要的那些人，那些曾影响你生活的人，那些给你微笑的人，那些在逆境中使你依然乐观向上的人，那些你想让他们知道你是多么珍惜与他们的情谊的人。即使你没有这样做，没关系，你不会因此倒霉，只是，用这些言语照亮他人生活的机会将与你失之交臂。
心灵小语
恋上一个人，需要一分钟；喜欢上她，需要一个小时；爱上她，需要一天；忘记她，则需要整整一生。
记忆填空
1. When the door of happiness__ ， another opens， but often times we look so long at the closed door____we don’t see the one which has been opened for____ .
2. It’s true that we don’t know what we' ve got____we lose it， but it’s also____ that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.
3. Don’t go for__ ； they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth； even that fades__ . Go for someone who makes you____because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
佳句翻译
1. 当一扇幸福之门关闭时，另一扇便会开启。
译__________________________
2. 只有失去了，才知其珍贵。
译__________________________
3. 爱，起于微笑，浓于亲吻，逝于泪水。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. Don’t go for looks；they can deceive.
go for：被认为；主张；努力获取
造________________________
2. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past …
be based on：根据，以……为基础
造________________________
世间最美丽的心
The Most Beautiful Heart
佚名 / Anonymous
One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole word. A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes， they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.
Suddenly， an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said， “Your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine.” The crowd and the young man looked at the old man’ s heart. It was beating strongly， but full of scars， it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in， but they didn’ t fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact， in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.
The people stared—how can he say his heart is more beautiful？ The young man looked at the old man’ s heart and saw its state and laughed. “You must be joking，” he said. “Compare your heart with mine， mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears.”
“Yes，” said the old man， “Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see， every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love—I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them， and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart， but because the pieces aren’ t exact， I have some rough edges， which I cherish， because they remind me of the love we shared. Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away， and the other person hasn’ t returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges—giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful， they stay open， reminding me of the love I have for these people too， and I hope someday they may return and fill the space in my heart. So now do you see what true beauty is？”
The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man， reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart， and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands.
The old man took his offering， placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man’ s heart. It fit， but not perfectly， as there were some jagged edges. The young man looked at his heart， not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever， since love from the old man’ s heart flowed into his. They embraced and walked away side by side.
一天，一个年轻人站在小镇中心，声称他的心是世界上最美丽的。一大群人围了过来，人人都称赞他的心确实完美无缺，没有一丝伤痕或瑕疵。他们一致认为这是最美丽的心。年轻人深感自豪，更大肆鼓吹起来。
突然，一个老人出现在人群前，说道：“我的心比你的更美丽。”大家都看着老人的心。这颗心有力地跳动着，布满了伤痕，有些地方被挖走了，虽然重新补上，但并不完全吻合，依然有很深的锯齿状印迹，有的地方甚至还有很深的沟壑，那里的整个部分完全没有了。
人们凝视着，心想——他怎么能说自己的心更美呢？年轻人看着老人的心，大笑起来。“您在开玩笑吧，”他说，“与我的心相比，您的心布满了伤疤和裂痕，而我的是那么完美。”
“是的，”老人说，“你的心看起来是很完美，但我绝不与你交换。你看，每一个伤疤都代表着我对别人的爱——我付出一份真心，他们常会回赠一份，填在我的空白处，由于不是完全吻合，伤口的边缘就会留下疤痕。我非常珍惜这些伤疤，它们常使我想起我们共有的爱心。有时，我付出了真心，却没得到回报，因此就出现了这些沟壑——献出爱心其实也是一种冒险。这些沟壑整日敞着，虽然很疼痛，却让我想起曾给予别人的爱。我希望有一天，他们能回来填补我心上的空白。现在，你明白什么是真正的美丽了吧？”
年轻人默默地站着，眼泪顺着脸颊流下来。他走到老人身旁，把手伸进自己完美年轻的心，撕下一片，颤抖着双手献给了这位老人。
老人接受了他的馈赠，把它放在心上，然后，又掏出自己的一片年老而又伤痕累累的心，放进年轻人的心里。很合适，但不完全吻合，因此有一些疤痕。年轻人看着自己的心，虽不再那么完整，却比以前更美丽了，因为老人心中流淌出来的爱流进了他的心里。他们互相拥抱，然后并肩离开了。
心灵小语
世间最美的心不是不曾受伤、不曾被污染的心，而是曾经被伤害，又经历了千锤百炼，仍然对世界充满爱的心。
记忆填空
1. A large____gathered and they all admired his____ for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes， they all agreed it truly was the most______ heart they had ever seen.
2. Sometimes I have given____of my heart away， and the other person hasn’t____a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges—giving love is taking a__ . Although these gouges are painful， they stay open， reminding me of the love I have for these people too， and I hope someday they may return and fill the____in my heart. 佳句翻译
1. 我非常珍惜这些伤疤，它们常使我想起我们共有的爱心。
译__________________________
2. 有时，我付出了真心，却没得到回报，因此就出现了这些沟壑——献出爱心其实也是一种冒险。
译__________________________
3. 因为老人心中流淌出来的爱流进了他的心里。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. ...reminding me of the love I have for these people too...
remind of：提醒；使想起；令……回忆
造________________________
2. They embraced and walked away side by side.
side by side：肩并肩；一起；二平分；一个挨一个；并排
造________________________
治疗心灵创伤的药物
Medicine for a Broken Heart
佚名 / Anonymous
Within my group of friends， when one of us is struggling with a recent breakup after a long-term relationship， the castaway will be sad and depressed. The response to sadness takes one of two courses—either appetite fails totally， or we eat excessively to quell our yearnings over lost loves.
If one of the girls in my dorm wants to indulge her appetite for food after a breakup， we all join in. We all eat terrible food in terrible quantities. For instance， ice cream， cakes， cookies and potato chips all become comfort foods that we consume in excess. I think this happens for a variety of reasons. To begin with， at my age—nineteen—we are all very concerned with our physical appearance. We want to be attractive， to have the kind of body image our society values. To that end， we moderate what kinds of foods we eat， how much， and how often； and we often overexert ourselves at the gym trying to burn off extra calories. We maintain good habits to keep up good appearance and thereby maintain a good relationship. However， when anyone experiences something as stressful and emotionally draining as a broken heart， he or she tends to disregard healthy habits and takes some pleasure in consuming those formerly forbidden foods. Of course， it is all a vicious circle. We lose our boyfriends， we become depressed， we eat， we gain weight (which， in turn， depresses us)， we struggle to regain our self-respect， we enter into another relationship， and the cycle goes on.
Food is not the only recourse for a sad lover. One friend of mine soothes her broken heart by going shopping—buying new clothes and new shoes， maybe a piece of jewelry—to make herself feel better. Whether it’s food or shopping， self-indulgence is often good medicine for the blues， if it is not carried to excess. The worst response is turning to alcohol or drugs.
我的朋友中，若有人失恋，被抛弃的人当然会沮丧难过。失恋后的悲伤有两种反应——要么食欲全无，要么通过暴饮暴食的方式来减轻对爱情的怀念。
宿舍里，若有同伴和男友分手后想放纵一下食欲，我们都会参与进来，无节制地享用那些毫无营养价值的食品，比如冰淇淋、蛋糕、饼干、炸薯片之类的，这些都是我们大量消耗的安慰性食品。这种悲伤反应的原因有很多种。首先，在我们这个年纪——19岁——都很关注自身外在形象。我们希望自己魅力十足，希望自身的形象符合社会的审美标准。为了达到这个目的，我们限制食物的种类，减少食量和进餐次数；还常到健身房进行过量的运动，来消耗过多的热量。美丽，让我们保持着良好的习惯，维护好恋情。但是，一旦身心受创，他或她就会将那些健康习惯抛之脑后，食用那些以前禁食的东西来获得些许快乐。无疑，这完全是一种恶性循环。失恋、沮丧、暴饮暴食、发胖反过来又会打击我们，努力找回自尊，开始新的恋情，这个循环往复地进行下去。
食物并不是慰藉失恋者的唯一方法。我的一个朋友通过逛商场来抚慰自己受伤的心——添置新衣服、鞋子，或是买一件珠宝——这会让她好受些。不管是食物还是购物，只要不是太过分，自我放纵往往就是治疗抑郁的良药。然而，失恋后最糟糕的反应就是通过酗酒和吸毒来寻求解脱。
心灵小语
冲动是魔鬼，人在不理智的情况下总是会做一些让自己后悔不已的事情。没有一种“报复”人的方法是用伤害自己为手段的。悲伤的时候，对自己好一点儿，不要在已经流血的伤口上再捅一刀了。
记忆填空
1. However， when anyone____something as stressful and emotionally draining as a broken__ ， he or she tends to disregard healthy habits and takes some____in consuming those formerly forbidden foods. Of course， it is all a vicious____ .
2.____is not the only recourse for a sad lover. One friend of mine soothes her broken heart by going____ —buying new clothes and new shoes， maybe a piece of jewelry—to make herself feel____ . 佳句翻译
1. 无疑，这完全是一种恶性循环。
译__________________________
2. 食物并不是慰藉失恋者的唯一方法。
译__________________________
3. 失恋后最糟糕的反应就是通过酗酒和吸毒来寻求解脱。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. To that end， we moderate what kinds of foods we eat， how much， and how often； and we often overexert ourselves at the gym trying to burn off extra calories.
burn off：烧掉，烧毁
造________________________
2. To begin with， at my age—nineteen—we are all very concerned with our physical appearance.
to begin with：首先；第一；原先，本来；起初
造________________________
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