Apparently each card left on this sale rack did not convey the message of Mother's Day to the person reading them. So, I spent a moment or two checking out these leftovers. Each message I read was rather bland and certainly didn't stir me; apparently, they hadn't evoked any emotion in the people who had come before me either. Each card definitely had its own appeal; however, I would not have selected them for anything other than maybe one of my kids' school projects! The messages were pretty much generic catch phrases, or they contained a corny poem that simply didn't work. Some were well wishes from across the miles; others were addressed to "the best mom in the world" and one had a trophy with a blue ribbon on the front of the card. I'm really glad no one bought that bad boy!
My mother always requires a special card. It always has to be the Big Kahuna of cards, the commander-in-chief card… my mother has extremely high expectations. The 99-cent card would absolutely not do it for her. So, as I looked at all these unselected, unloved, Mother's Day cards, I was curious if that particular Mother's Day had been memorable to the mothers of the world or to the ones who have acted as a mother to so many? I know from personal experience that you don't have to carry children for nine months and literally give birth to them in order to love them as your own. Love can grow in your heart just as it can grow in your stomach.
We don't have to limit the "mothering" list to just one person, the lady who carried you around for nine months. That really was nothing more than a mode of transportation! Mothering is an all-encompassing word. A mother is someone who raises you, teaches you, feeds you, inspires you, lets you know when you are being difficult, challenges you to be better, soft-pedals your wrong doings and loves you unconditionally. Did that list mention anything about giving birth? We often have a need to pigeonhole everything, or wrap things up in a easily explainable package. There is not enough wrapping paper in the entire world to wrap up the who, how, why or when you are called upon to be a mother.
Every time we encourage someone, we give him or her a dose of mothering. Keeping someone on balance in this difficult world of ours, helping someone reclaim joy or refreshing someone's perspective when that person thought all was lost… that is mothering.
Is there a person whom you've failed to acknowledge on past Mother's Days? Someone who knew that, even though you always appeared a beautiful, graceful swan swimming coolly, calmly and elegantly across the lake, she knew you were paddling like crazy underneath to stay afloat? Who is that person who always desires the best for you, who encourages your dreams and hopes? Who is it who instills confidence in you when you have none? Might it be a grandmother, an aunt, a sister, a next door neighbor, a best friend's mother, a guidance counselor, a foster mother, a boss, a teacher, a Bible study leader, a mother-in-law?
Being a mother can often be a stinky, thankless job. Still, no matter how many times we have to get dirty, mothers always return for more… to care, to supervise, to teach, to listen. Mothers, biological or not, are the women who have a significant impact on a person's life.
In the same way, fathers aren't necessarily limited to those men who contributed to our birth. Often, a father is a man who has touched our life in a special way, who has given fatherly advice which allowed us to make better choices along the way. This father figure might have been a coach, a teacher, a law enforcement officer, a family friend, an uncle, a cousin, a brother… someone who helped shape us as individuals.
In my life there are many "fathers." But I was also fortunate that my biological father, Stanley Charles Roberts, was responsible for much of who I am today; he was a wonderful role model who always told me, "It is not important what others choose; what is important is what you choose." My father was a police officer, and my husband Sean's father was a school teacher, and they were both in positions to impact lives.
Having positive role models is as equally important as being a positive role model. If there are people in your life who have nurtured you, encouraged you, supported you and helped you make good decisions in your own life's journey, then you are one of the lucky ones. Lucky to have had someone in this world who thinks you are magnificent but let's you know when you act miserably, someone who cares if you take your next breath, someone who loves you.
If you have one of these "mothers" or "fathers" in your life, consider that person a priceless treasure. My mom taught me that it is never too late to do the right thing. So if by chance you missed honoring that special lady on Mother's Day or that special man on Father's Day, don't let that stop you from telling them how you feel. Mothers and fathers will take love and attention anywhere, anytime. So run through the names in your cell phone, check on your email contact list or flip through your old-fashioned rolodex and find that person who had a part in making you who you are today. Show them you care by reaching out to them. Take time to listen to their stories, hear their concerns, bake them some cookies. At the very least, send them a card… preferably one without a corny poem.
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