When he returned,the pause of the twilight had ceased,and the tune of the streets had changed.The snow was falling faster,lights streamed from the hotels that reared their many stories fearlessly up into the storm,defying the raging Atlantic winds.A long,black stream of carriages poured down the avenue,intersected here and there by other streams,tending horizontally.There were a score of cabs about the entrance of his hotel,and his driver had to wait.Boys in livery were running in and out of the awning stretched across the sidewalk,up and down the red velvet carpet laid from the door to the street.Above,about,within it all,was the rumble and roar,the hurry and toss of thousands of human beings as hot for pleasure as himself,and on every side of him towered the glaring affirmation of the omnipotence of wealth.
The boy set his teeth and drew his shoulders together in a spasm of realization;the plot of all dramas,the text of all romances,the nerve-stuff of all sensations was whirling about him like the snowflakes.He burnt like a faggot in a tempest.
When Paul came down to dinner,the music of the orchestra floated up the elevator shaft to greet him.As he stepped into the thronged corridor,and he sank back into one of the chairs against the wall to get his breath.The lights,the chatter,the perfumes,the bewildering medley of color—he had,for a moment,the feeling of not being able to stand it.But only for a moment;these were his own people,he told himself.He went slowly about the corridors,through the writing-rooms,smoking-rooms,reception-rooms,as though he were exploring the chambers of an enchanted palace,built and peopled for him alone.
When he reached the dining room he sat down at a table near a window.The flowers,the white linen,the many-colored wine glasses,the gay toilettes of the women,the low popping of corks,the undulating repetitions of the Blue Danube from the orchestra,all flooded Paul's dream with bewildering radiance.When the roseate tinge of his champagne was added—that cold,precious,bubbling stuff that creamed and foamed in his glass—Paul wondered that there were honest men in the world at all.This was what all the world was fighting for,he reflected;this was what all the struggle was about.He doubted the reality of his past.Had he ever known a place called Cordelia Street,a place where fagged-looking businessmen boarded the early car?Mere rivets in a machine they seemed to Paul,—sickening men,with combings of children's hair always hanging to their coats,and the smell of cooking in their clothes.Cordelia Street—Ah,that belonged to another time and country!Had he not always been thus,had he not sat here night after night,from as far back as he could remember,looking pensively over just such shimmering textures,and slowly twirling the stem of a glass like this one between his thumb and middle finger?He rather thought he had.
He was not in the least abashed or lonely.He had no special desire to meet or to know any of these people;all he demanded was the right to look on and conjecture,to watch the pageant.The mere stage properties were all he contended for.Nor was he lonely later in the evening,in his loge at the Opera.He was entirely rid of his nervous misgivings,of his forced aggressiveness,of the imperative desire to show himself different from his surroundings.He felt now that his surroundings explained him.Nobody questioned the purple;he had only to wear it passively.He had only to glance down at his dress coat to reassure himself that here it would be impossible for anyone to humiliate him.
He found it hard to leave his beautiful sitting room to go to bed that night,and sat long watching the raging storm from his turret window.When he went to sleep,it was with the lights turned on in his bedroom;partly because of his old timidity,and partly so that,if he should wake in the night,there would be no wretched moment of doubt,no horrible suspicion of yellow wall-paper,or of Washington and Calvin above his bed.
On Sunday morning the city was practically snow-bound.Paul breakfasted late,and in the afternoon he fell in with a wild San Francisco boy,a freshman at Yale,who said he had run down for a"little flyer"over Sunday.The young man offered to show Paul the night side of the town,and the two boys went off together after dinner,not returning to the hotel until seven o'clock the next morning.They had started out in the confiding warmth of a champagne friendship,but their parting in the elevator was singularly cool.The freshman pulled himself together to make his train,and Paul went to bed.He woke at two o'clock in the afternoon,very thirsty and dizzy,and rang for ice water,coffee,and the Pittsburgh papers.
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